Humans Are Space Orcs

Challenge #01775-D314: Haptic Feedback

Aliens vs human ticklishness -- TheDragonsFlame

The ships' human was out of sorts. Grumpy. Tetchy. Upset. They had gone close-mouthed and reticent, and it was Gorthax's job to keep the human happy. He had read what the Edge Territories knew about humans, three times over. And attempted every comfort. Except this one.

Humans thrived on companionable touch. But humans also had eroding acids in their perspiration. Which was a problem because a human could wither and die under the influence of Touch Starvation. He researched thoroughly and found a way to combat the problem.

Insulation. He picked a material that was human-proof, but also amenable to human tactile needs. Gorthax chose fluffy as a texture and basically re-invented the Love Glove. Next, he approached the human in a companionable manner and, as gently as possible, applied a soothing touch.

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Challenge #01773-D312: Rocks Fall!

Human: “Ok, how bad is it? Just lay it on me, I can take it…”

Numid: [extent of injury]

H: “Oh, that’s it? I thought it was something serious.”

N: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘THAT’S IT!?!’ -- TheDragonsFlame

Carrie came around to nervous Numidid chirping. Huh. People really did panic in their home tongue. With consciousness came an intense amount of pain. She moaned.

"[There is one alive!]" The Numidids hooted. In broken English, "You with anyone?"

Carrie concentrated on

Challenge #01766-D305: The Dog in the Fight

So in the Human are the Space Orcs, it looks like we are on a level 3.5-4 Deathworld. This makes us fairly B.A.. However there are references to creatures from level six Deathworlds. What happens when they meet? Do humans feel threatened by them, are humans just the perfect mix of craziness and inability to die that the level six deathworlders are just scaredy cats, do they replace the humans, or have humans finally found an alien species they can

Challenge #01764-D303: The Human Enigma

An energy type weapon is designed to subdue the target without killing it : the wounds are small but painful, the beam cauterizes the wound and it's fairly quiet. It's a civilised weapon.

A powder propelled type weapon is designed to kill the target and scare its opponent : the wound can be huge, it bleed a lot, the sound is horrifying. It's a human weapon. -- Anon Guest

The argument against humanity joining Galactic Society went like this: Have you seen their weaponry

Challenge #01763-D302: Cleanup Needed

Never enter an unknown atmosphere without airtight suit. Especially if you are boarding a ship where all the crew and passengers are in airtight suits, one human got a license in chemistry and access to bleach and ammonia. -- Anon Guest

The ships' human was merely there for the alleged good luck that they could potentially produce. It was lucky to have a human on board, and Human George's official role was janitor. Which meant that he had automatic access to the

Challenge #01762-D301: Grave Error

"We destroyed the protective forces of this colony : this human colony is ours!"

[few days later]

"We lost 1/4th of our soldiers in ambush in the city and in the wood, half of our soldiers are sick because the food and water stock are poisoned AND all of our communication devices got destroyed..." -- Anon Guest

Everyone agreed. It was a very nice planet.

The Cho'vith wanted it enough to bomb a few extant settlements and encourage whatever lived there that

Challenge #01760-D299: Walking Wounded

“‘‘Tis but a flesh wound!”

“It’s really... not...” -- TheDragonsFlame

This human had been through a great amount of trouble to get there. They had multiples of disturbing injuries. Bruises. Cuts. Scrapes, even some breaks in their seemingly unbreakable bones. The last of these, the human had splinted with available material. The twin orifii in the middle of their face was leaking blood. The evident scabbing indicated that this had been going on for some time.

And, most disturbing to the

Challenge #01759-D298: Hazardous Associations

An unknowing (group of) alien(s) tries to take a human as a pet, thinking ‘It’s small and cool-looking.’ Problem is, Humans are to them as velociraptors are to humans. -- TheDragonsFlame

It was quadrupedal and had no bowel control. It had to be an animal. That was the reasoning that lead to Heatstone becoming a pet in the first place. Cho'nish frequently bragged to her friends that Heatstone was a rescue pet. They had hir in simply terrible conditions. And

Challenge #01747-D286: Stop Me if You've Heard This One

"Okay, this might be scary so if you need some time to prepare-"

"Jokes on you I'm terrified a hundred percent of the time anyway!" -- OohLookShiny

A Havenworlder and a Deathworlder walk into a bar...

So very many jokes start this way, including the off-colour one that also included cogniphagia. But this time, it was reality. The Havenworlder was in their livesuit and tucked under the arm of the deathworlder. A big, burly, brick of a human.

The worst kind.

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Challenge #01742-D281: Certain Signs of Doom

When a human is running scared, drop everything and run away with them. -- Anon Guest

Humans get many jobs, all across the outskirts of the Galactic Alliance. In the Fringe Territories, laws are enforced based entirely on how useful they are to follow. As civilisation creeps in, the humans creep out before they become the tolerated exception. That's the thing about fringes and frontiers. There's always more of them.

Here on the edge, overlooking a large and ancient Sargasso, is Bodgy

Challenge #01739-D278: A Lesson For All

(At an AI's sudden assimilation of a tech base and IMMEDIATE commencement of combinatorial synthesis): Fuckin' bullshit, man.

(In response): Hey if they're going to leave tech specs out where the sufficiently advanced AI can get a hold of them, it's their own fault. -- RecklessPrudence

They called the AI Amoeba, for her abilities, but she preferred Amy. It was her job as part of the combat process to take over enemy facilities and seize all intel and hardware. She liked her

Challenge #01728-D267: 'Tis But a Scratch

"So, you're telling me that even if a human tried to kill himself by stabbing his head, he could be perfectly fine if the blade goes between the hemispheres of the brain without damaging anything ?"

"Yup, and I didn't talk about Phineas Gage, who got a large iron rod through the head and survived without some part of his brain, or the war veteran who survived a bullet through the heart. Even if we don't have exoskeleton, we are pretty resilient. This

Challenge #01717-D256: Show of Faith

"Shhhhh." [Name] put a finger to both of their lips. "Let's just enjoy this. Things are going to be awful in a few hours, but right now I've tricked myself into thinking we can handle this. Let me bask in it." -- RecklessPrudence

The human had a mantra for everything that was going wrong. Human Steve was multitasking. Gathering and patching and applying gum and ductape as fast as their two hands could manage. The mantra was four words, "I can handle

Challenge #01712-D251: The One That Got Away

The sign said "Wet Paint". -- Anon Guest

It said it in English, and it said it whilst affixed to a filthy-looking wall. There was something incredibly suspicious about all of this. Especially since this was apparently a derelict in the middle of nowhere with no alarms, diverse or otherwise.

Some part of Jen was screaming, Honey trap! But it was in stiff competition with the part of her that was so very tempted to see if the sign was telling the

Challenge #01700-D237: Tougher Than You Think

So, havenworlders getting a look at this data? Alternatively, Galactic Citizens or Deathworlders from a lower category seeing one of our weak areas (like water requirements) and going "I can do better than that!"

(Same data, but with it in sane units) -- RecklessPrudence

Galactic Society shares some information for free. For example, information on what they deem to be dangerous species. Before the rediscovery of a colony world later named Amity, they shared gathered information on humans so that others could

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A 312-post collection

Challenge #01775-D314: Haptic Feedback

Challenge #01773-D312: Rocks Fall!

Challenge #01766-D305: The Dog in the Fight

Challenge #01764-D303: The Human Enigma

Challenge #01763-D302: Cleanup Needed

Challenge #01762-D301: Grave Error

Challenge #01760-D299: Walking Wounded

Challenge #01759-D298: Hazardous Associations

Challenge #01747-D286: Stop Me if You've Heard This One

Challenge #01742-D281: Certain Signs of Doom

Challenge #01739-D278: A Lesson For All

Challenge #01728-D267: 'Tis But a Scratch

Challenge #01717-D256: Show of Faith

Challenge #01712-D251: The One That Got Away

Challenge #01700-D237: Tougher Than You Think