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Humans Are Space Orcs

A 312-post collection

Challenge #01847-E023: The Only Sensible One

"We are a crew of 7 persons : 2 deathworlders, 4 havenworlders and a sentient AI. The havenworlders are the scientist and the AI is the medic. I'm the only human and the security officer. What is my problem ? Well, let me think about it... . The captain is an adrenaline junky who might send the ship in a high danger zone just for his rush, the doc is obsessed with humans, and the havenworlders are just... too curious without self-preservation instincts.... Two days ago one of them found and lit a flare because "it's pretty". Inside the ship.

Did you ever feel like you are the last sane man on the ship ?" -- Anon Guest

I used to joke that I'm not the security chief, I'm the ship's mother. It's... not a joke any more. Or at least, it's stopped being funny. I'm looking after four little tiny bird people with breakable damn bones whose first instinct with cliffs is to jump off and go, 'wheee!' And I'm one of those species for whom that instinct is a bad thing. Then there's Grox. A heavy-worlder who can do that sort of thing, bounce, and laugh about it after.

Let's just say I added wing and parachute capabilities to my livesuit and leave it at that. And then there's Bosco. Well. I call them Bosco. Their actual designation has way more letters and numbers than I care to pronounce. The most pronounceable part of it sounds something like 'Bosco' and it took us two entire Standard Months to work that one out. Bosco's an AI. One of the ones where their creator actually aimed for that output and not -say- a Deuteronomy situation where a Nae'hyn got bored and made a baby. Like. Out of spare parts.

Bosco's technically a medical probe? Their mind and memory are in a back-up black box set-up with remote connectivity to their body of the day. Technically speaking, Bosco can teleport anywhere within comms range, so long as there's a body there. Ze has a cosmetic form, which is sort of humanoid if you like Daft Punk mixed in with Metropolis and deliberately on the non-human peak of the Uncanny Valley. Oh, and all of hir exploration bodies are (a) organic (b) disposable and (c) capable of being shot from the ship and surviving a sub-orbital cannonade.

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Challenge #01845-E021: Art in All Forms

Alien walking past human's quarters hears a harsh, vaguely rhythmic sound.

Alien knocks on human's door, enters, and finds that it's audio sensory organs are assaulted by this noise, the noise is so loud it is almost painful for the Alien's ears.

Alien: "Human, what is this noise?"

Human: "This is my music, you don't like it?"

Alien: "I don't know, the volume is a bit high and it sounds rather harsh, what is this music called?"

Human: "Many humans don't like

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Challenge #01836-E012: Debunked Beliefs

Non-human sentients are used to thinking of humans as impossibly durable daredevils of highly questionable sanity. However, historical human science fiction, pre-first contact, typically has humans depicting themselves as either ordinary everymen and everywomen in a world full of sentients who were stronger, smart, harder to kill, and/or had space magic at their disposal. Humans were surprised when their cynicism didn't play out. Aliens are shocked that humans could have ever considered themselves as such. -- Anon Guest

"And this one

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Challenge #01825-D364: Seems Harmless Enough

NAME: Mr. Sunshine (yes he's not joking)

OCCUPATION: Terror squad/ Pax Humanis Enforcer

LIKES: Cats, Painting, Tearing off the faces of his enemies

DISLIKES: Rude folk

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION: Average height, Average build, Could blend in anywhere there's Humans

UNIQUE TRAITS: Cold, empty eyes combined with an intense friendliness give him an extremely unnerving appearance, Dresses like Mr.Rogers, allergic to milk -- Anon Guest

"It's pronounced soon-sheen-eh," insisted the otherwise ordinary-seeming human who wore a sweater-vest in Security Purple, and a tie

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Challenge #01815-D354: Complex Brain Chemistry

That first cup of coffee that finally gets your brain out of bed. -- Knitnan

Consciousness and cogniscence are two different states of being. One learns this quickly with a human in one's immediate vicinity. Folkax was still attempting to fathom it. The ships' Human was one of the ones with an irregular sleep cycle, and an even worse method of retaining wakefulness.

Human Ren would stumble out of their sleep nook with a complaining moan when they 'could not sleep anymore',

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Challenge #01810-D349: Who's A Pretty Boy?

Aliens vs (Talkative) Parrots -- TheDragonsBlaze

It had to be a human ship. Ugly. Functional. Battle-scarred and pitted with a million micrometeor impacts. But there was frozen precipitation and high winds incoming. Nothing could survive it better than a Deathworlder ship. So Tikkotz scurried inside and hoped that the human would be benevolent.

It was a huge space. Mostly made of metal, but there were softer areas. Seating. Bedding. Hangings, for some reason. There was no trace of the human, beyond that

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Challenge #01796-D335: Freedom of Choice

Humans' ability to fight on a microscopic level is widely known throughout the Galactic Alliance. They call it their “Immune System.” But it comes as a shock to their allies that the humans readily seek out microscopic organisms to strengthen their Immune Systems. Probiotics. Apparently de-activated viruses known to be deadly. -- Anon Guest

Humans are toxic. Their skin contains microbiota that many Havenworlders find to be deadly. Some of their allegedly harmless skin diseases have become the accidental ruin of worlds.

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Challenge #01789-D328: Integration Contemplation

A pair/group of Numidids discuss their thoughts/opinions/views on humans when there are no humans around. -- TheDragonsFlame

They were at the uppermost branches of a sky-raker tree that overlooked the human settlement of Wiwazheer. The first Terran city to share a planet with Havenworlders. Of course, when they built it, they had no idea. Neither the Humans nor the Numidid had any idea that they had started colonising opposite ends of the planet simultaneously.

"They are loud," said a

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Challenge #01788-D327: You Want Humans

Humans are pack animals. We come together to overcome challenges that would overwhelm the individual. When we unite against a common enemy, we’re nigh unstoppable. -- TheDragonsFlame

They say that Humans are best in disasters. They do not mean that Humans make a better disaster by being added to the scene. They mean that Humans show off their best attributes when a disaster strikes.

Such as now.

The aftershocks had only ceased half an hour ago, but the humans had started

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Challenge #01786-D325: No Pets!

A Human is patting an alien animal when they suddenly notice the rest of the away team is hiding behind the largest rock they could find. -- Fliss

"Oozagoo' critter? Oozagoo' critter?" Baz continued chucking the alien life form under its chin. Its hind leg waved vaguely in self-scratching motions. "You is! Essoo'iz! Essoo'iz! Esso'iz such'a good critter..." Baz paused from adoring the alien beastie to check on her team of alleged xenobiologists.

They were all hiding behind a rock and some

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Challenge #01785-D323: The Worst of the Worst

aliens learn about the dangers of human psychopaths and other mentally ill humans -- Anon Guest

[AN: Nonny, the mentally ill are way more likely to be victims of the psychopaths. See: mental hospitals vs the GOP]

Humans are apex predators. Most humans are willing to forget this. A rare few... aren't. A rarer few actively pursue that particular role.

Little can be done for them, save for steering them into roles where predation and exploitation are valued, such as war zones

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Challenge #01784-D322: Worrying Encounters

"But, there wasn't any psionic signal from this direction !"

What if Human are the only known sentient species who can't interact with some signal, like in the Wake comics ? How the first contact could look like ? (in the Wake comics, psionics signal are used as a mean of communication, something like telepathies. And human are "immune" to it. Meaning that we're just invisible to their system.) -- Anon Guest

Everyone knows now that Humans are 'space orcs'. They also know that Humans

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Challenge #01782-D321: Touching Base

Human Chat System. A system allowing humans to chat between themselves. You can find anything on it : Forum about beautiful location in space, information on xenos food, latest news of the Human Colonies and Prima Terra, and more importantly, a place to discuss this "Space Orcs" thing. -- Anon Guest

Username: twitchywitchygrl

Password: #########

Welcome to Human Chat! Please wait while we locate your nearest, most active chatroom.

:: Connect2 FarFromHome

Connecting to FarFromHome. Searching for active chatrooms.

FarFromHome 12 connected.

twitchywitchygrl: Hey guys.

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Challenge #01780-D319: Comfort Totem

Teddy bears are well- and widely-loved children’s toys… despite the fact that they’re modeled after 600lb/272kg beasts that could easily kill you if they so chose to. Seems reasonable. -- TheDragonsFlame

Somewhere on the Edge Territories, before Humanity was reclassified as merely insane...

"And that artefact?" said the Saurian trader, gesturing at the thing under the mammal's arm.

"Not for sale," said the creature. "That's -uh- a comfort item. It's called a 'teddy bear'. It's mine and I'm keeping

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Challenge #01776-D315: But They Look So Cute...

“I’ll be honest... sometimes, it’s easy to forget that humans are/were predators…” -- TheDragonsFlame

Humans are pack creatures. They're friendly. They'll share their pack-bonding with anyone. They'll share their pack-bonding with inanimate objects. They'll share food, entertainment, beverages... They're generally an outgoing species. Gentle and kind to those they count as their friends. Considerate to Havenworlders of all species.

It's easy to forget that they are deathworlders. It's easy to forget that they are deadly. Like the apocryphal tiger

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