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Humans Are Space Orcs

A 307-post collection

Challenge #02089-E265: Living Corbomite

"I don't know what is happening, but I don't like it"

"Why ?"

"The human is smiling" -- Anon Guest

One of their own writers said it the best: Never trust a creature that smiles all the time, they're up to something. And they were very, very correct. The most frequent portent of doom, next to phrases like, "Hold my beer," or "I think I know what I did wrong," is most definitely a Human smiling in a certain way for a period longer than ten minutes.

It's a sure and certain sign that someone is going to get what the human thinks they deserve. And it was happening most alarmingly on the bridge of the Wandering Star, where the Ship's Human was having an apparently evil idea. The most her crew could hope for was that it was going to happen in the general direction of their current foe.

Who, thankfully, was also unnerved to see a Human smiling at them like that.

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Challenge #02073-E249: Audio Only

It went plonk, it went kablooey, it went shhhh, and it went blink.

But most importantly, it went whushhhak. -- Anon Guest

Sound was all that was left. The darkness was absolute, and Phel's ability to feel was impaired by the chemicals that the enemy had forced into hir system. Ze learned quickly how the Zebnaki pirates sounded when they moved, and also learned to avoid them. They had patterns of movement, too, and it helped.

Phel made it all the way

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Challenge #02064-E240: Evac Under Fire

I'll burn that bridge when I get to it. -- TheDragonsFlame

Gorx halted in mid-step. "Surely the Human phrase is, I will cross that bridge when I get to it. Is it not so?"

Human Warin stopped for hir. "Not today. Keep moving. I'll explain on the way." He waited for Gorx to get moving again. "What I just said is a malapropism. A mixing of metaphorical sayings for humour or -in this case- appropriate action." He broke off to race ahead

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Challenge #02060-E236: The Way to Make Change

Humans gonna Human -- TheDragonsFlame

A mother in a war zone hands her baby up to a complete stranger, knowing that they may never meet again, but her child has a chance at something better than this. Bullets sing through the air. Fire turns the surrounding landscape into tones of amber. And the last evacuation vehicle leaves the few remaining to their fate. The mother smiles anyway, and waves 'bye-bye' to her child. Pretending, perhaps for a last handful of minutes, that

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Challenge #02059-E235: Betrayal is a Two-Way Street

“You really ought to learn not to be so trusting,” ze sneered. “The world’s a dangerous place.”

“Clearly you’ve never met a pissed-off human before.” She smiled. “Please, allow me to... enlighten you.” -- Anon Guest

The Human interlaced her fingers and twisted them about to make a sound like several walnuts being crushed at once. While the guards were wincing at that intolerable sound, she casually purloined one of their polearms and used it to stun the other one.

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Challenge #02055-E231: Weapons of Mass Deception

"[Blank] can't expect us to just cry on command, " Person A muttered. They got a sniffle in reply and when they glanced over the tears were already streaming down person B's face.

"Are you serious?" Person A said.

Person B just grinned at them and choked back a fake sob. -- OohLookShiny

"They don't have much experience with women," Human Jori reminded them. "They operate based entirely off of entertainments, which are full of... regrettable stereotypes."

"Which is why we're wearing pink

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Challenge #02051-E227: Death Trade

Kill it! Kill it with lethal amounts of Sodium Chloride! -- @internutter

The enormous bipedal chordate flinched under the -pardon the pun- assault. Cried out. And yet, it was still standing after five rounds rapid. Then the assembled Cryptels watched in stunned amazement as the Deathworlder actually licked the powder from its skin.

"Mmmm..." It bared its enormous teeth. "YesthisisexactlywhatIneed."

It actually craved the death mineral. T'lu didn't know what to do. Ze clenched backwards out of instinct as this giant went

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Challenge #02050-E226: Stockholm's Invisible Bars

Humanity has always fascinated a certain alien “scientist” shall we say, though in reality they were nothing more than a monster. Their newest “pets” were the result of their most recent experiments in gaslighting and the human phenomenon known as Stockholm syndrome. Never had one so cruel ever known such an horrific punishment by the hands of humanity. -- Sorry

[AN: No you're not]

Beware becoming your obsession. There are many that will eat you alive and not even spit out your

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Challenge #02043-E219: Through th' Crack's Mirror

Humans had lost against the Fae. The Orcs, and Fairies, Gnomes, and Centaurs, all the "mythical" creatures had banded together and drove us to near extinction. But unlike us, they weren't monsters. We had after all started the war. And the small group of survivors, stripped of magic, were sent to a reality where no natural magic existed. Banished to the fringes, that's where our stories came from, an attempt to keep the history before alive. And remember the times that the

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Challenge #02042-E218: Something's Happening Here

Love your Humans are space Orcs, especially the ones about Ozzies.

Here is one for you, How even without luck, all humans get gut feelings, warning of unseen dangers and how they can drive out decisions especially in rather precarious situations. -- Adam in Darwin

[AN: Never sweat your spelling. If I can grok your meaning, I'll correct that biz for the post. Hope you haven't gone troppo waiting for this post to happen, and have a Gaytime on me :D ]

Certain

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Challenge #02032-E208: Least Threatening Silhouette

[Title: Words you learn to dread hearing. #1.] "I was only..." -- Knitnan

[AN: Once again I have to remind my dear readers that I don't usually pay attention to the titles of your prompt posts. Doing this sort of thing throws off my rhythm and I've already had a crowded day today]

Humans. They do all kinds of hazardous things without thinking about it. Playing gravity games and forgetting that other beings find these unnerving. Singing songs about death and murder[

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Challenge #02031-E207: Needs of the Many Can Bite Me

“You’re risking the lives of millions - millions of lives! - for the sake of one.”

“Damn right I am! And besides, I promised I’d get you out of this mess alive, didn’t I?” -- Anon Guest

"But... the needs of the many," objected Koraz.

"Flakk the needs of the many, I made a promise." Human Kaf had his head down and his shoulders hunched. "I keep my word. Wanna fight me about that?"

"No," sighed Koraz with a

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Challenge #02030-E206: But Not My Friend

“I refuse to let you die”

-- A surprisingly common (and even more surprisingly functional) human phrase.

More lives than can be counted have been saved due to this statement. -- Anon Guest

Flaax had expected to die. That was what happened when the Vorax attacked. People died. Civilisations ended. If one was lucky, wreckage containing last messages to loved ones could be found after the fact.

And then the Humans became part of the Galactic landscape, so to speak. They hunted

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Challenge #02027-E203: Waifs and Strays

"We have a problem sir. We found the hostage. She looks safe but.... there is an human with her. He is hurt and his translator is broken, but he seems to have protected the hostage, and continues to do so. The fact is that he doesn't want to leave her alone, and she doesn't want to leave him too. And he kind of scares our man." -- Anon Guest

Humans. Some were aggressive. Enough to make Havenworlders like the Graacil extremely cautious

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Challenge #02026-E202: Common Sense Human Medical Advisor

Under great stress, the human brain will launch the production of combat drugs to better face the situation. It will nearly always allow your fellow human crew member to survive and save you, even if the course of action seems stupid and dangerous. The biggest problem could be when those drugs leave the organism : usually the human will act as normal and go back to his/her normal behaviour. But in some case, the human mental will temporary "crumble to dust" and

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