Humans Are Space Orcs

Challenge #02214-F024: Ill Met in Sarkis Ten

Class 5 Deathworlders react to the information of human self-cannibalism in extreme situations. -- Anon Guest

Class one Deathworlders only have one elemental portion of their environment attempting to kill them. Class two get two of them. All the way up to level five, with the plants, the animals, the geology, the climate, and astronomy of their solar system repeatedly attempting to kill them. They get to be Deathworlders by surviving all of this and making it out to discover that there are kinder worlds than their own.

Class five Deathworlders generally use the population principal towards survival. Thusly, like all egocentric civilisations discovering the Universe, presume that their way is the only way to progress into space. They always presume wrong. Of course they do. It's the discovery process that is always entertaining to watch.

"You!" Throkk the Destroyer recognised the Human who kept coming back like a bad smell. "I left you on a poison world with no hope of rescue! You should be dead."

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Challenge #02208-F018: Relative Superman

A Havenworlder was adopted and raised by Humans from a young age. -- Anon Guest

A ruined city. A lone survivor. Those who had come to help take the orphan in with the best of intentions... So many stories of heroes begin that way. One famous one has the orphan saving their adopted world for all of their life. Red capes optional.

Such was not the case for Sylkin. She was a Thof, and the only survivor of a Vorax raid on

Challenge #02207-F017: Silent and Deadly

You should be wary of Humans. All the time. They Bond together and are nearly unstoppable.

However or Whatever you do, DO NOT underestimate/provoke the silent one who doesn't do that.

Please write a story with the focus on the quiet crew-member in the corner. -- Anon Guest

Humans say there are Cat People and Dog People. Galactic Society has largely misunderstood this to mean that there are Humans like dogs, who spread friendliness and affection wherever they go, and Humans

Challenge #02204-F014: Complex Organic Chemistry

Class five Deathworlders have Problems dealing with a planet which Flora contains a mysterious Plant (Wink Wink).

For them it is as deadly as Arsenic is for us.

Their reaction when Humans Line Up to colonise it -- Anon Guest

[AN: Going with convergent evolution because the chances of weed happening exactly as it happened on Earth, on another planet, are astronomical at best]

Things had been going badly for the latest J'krog colony. The world, verdant and unclaimed, had promised a

Challenge #02200-F010: Mor Daka is Bad

Aliens learn about the Atomic Bomb.

"You use WHAT to BUILD A BOMB!?"

"cold war.....Cold War, are you shi* me?"

"YOUR SPECIES HAS HOW MANY OF THESE DOOMSDAY-DEVICES?"

"WHAT do you mean, they are STILL being Used ?!?"

Imagine a shattered Class 6 deathworlder learning about this.

Imagine how Havenworlders would react ^^ -- Anon Guest

[AN: Class 6 are purely theoretical, in an environment that would be hostile to most known means of evolution, so I'm going with Class 5]

"I wouldn't

Challenge #02194-E365: Won Family by Combat

It's the nice, sweet, quiet ones that never argue that you should be afraid of. -- Anon Guest

They thought the Human was docile. Quiet and apologetic, they assumed that they had been 'trained'. The Human certainly acted that way. Always eager to please. Always nice to the point of being excruciating. They thought that Human Zie would never be violent.

They were wrong.

The thing about Humans is - even the soppiest milquetoast has their line in the sand. The point

Challenge #02180-E351: Looks Peaceful Enough

"I think we may have pissed off the locals."

Loud explosions

"We definitely pissed off the locals." -- TheDragonsFlame

The Drizit thought the world they invaded was ripe for the picking because the inhabitants had no obvious weapons. They thought that an agrarian culture was passive and harmless. They should have really done their homework, because these apparently passive agrarians were also humans.

They took precautions, because parasitising an entire planet largely depends on remaining undetected until your presence is merely a

Challenge #02173-E344: Predator Practice

The most common game in the galaxy was, Surprisingly, Hide and seek, Havenworlders even had entire Leagues and sports stars based on the game.

For Havenworlders it was thrilling but safe, and allowed them to exhibit each species natural abilities in defensive evasion, as well as honed their tactics and attention to detect Predators

They were surprised to find Humans enjoyed the same game, realising that the seeker made sense to a Predatory Species, but it Terrified them just how well a

Challenge #02172-E343: One Notorious Encounter at Midnight

Vorax raiding parties had enough trouble with ships containing only one human, imagine the response to encountering a ship with a full crew of them... -- Amberfox

The ship was dark and silent. After numerous excursions in which the Vorax had encountered Humans, they felt that -perhaps- attacking a ship in its dormancy period might rally the spirits of the crew. Certainly, it lacked a little honour, but the Humans were next to relentless and this area of space was loaded with

Challenge #02160-E331: Not That Simple

I have love in me the likes of which can scarcely be imagined and rage the likes of which you would not believe. If I can not satisfy one, I will indulge the other. -- Anon Guest

If there is one rule of the Universe beyond, never ask questions to which there may be a painful answer, it is this: Never Anger a Primary Parental.

Q'essoj was busy learning this. They thought that taking a Human infant from an apparently unguarded area

Challenge #02156-E327: They'll Be Back

It wasn't that Humans were suicidal, nor are they intrinsically self absorbed.

They just understand better than even most Herd like species, that sometimes the only way to save the masses is to sacrifice the few, preferably themselves.

That doesn't mean they went quietly, or easily. -- Adam in Darwin

It only takes a moment. A split-second decision along the lines of, Here is where I stand and fight. The lucky few see it in the Human's eyes just moments before the

Challenge #02154-E325: She's Still a Pup

[NAME] winced slightly. "It's a dog, Major. A companion animal."

"Looks like a class 3 bio engineered weapon to me!" -- Anon Guest

The creature was huge. Even sitting down, it was almost as tall as a human. It was almost as wide as a human. Only the wagging tail distinguished it from a Terran bear. That, and the lolling tongue, dripping saliva as the animal panted. The human by its side agitated some fur by a nub that could have been

Challenge #02153-E324: Legendary Salvation

"The group was brought back to Hamburg to stand trial, where they were sentenced to death by beheading. Resigned to his death, Stortebeker struck up a bizarre deal with the mayor. His pirates would be lined up in a row when he was decapitated. The mayor promised to free as many men as Stortebeker’s headless body could walk past.

This must have seemed like a raw deal for the pirates, who had doubtlessly witnessed the effects of multiple beheadings in their

Challenge #02142-E313: Been There, Done That

Alien: "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE CRASH LANDED ON YOUR HOME PLANET!?"

Human: "I mean we are on Earth, my home, somewhere in Central Africa...I think."

Alien: "We are doomed"

Human: "No we're not. Don't worry, I'll teach you everything there is to know about surviving on a Deathworld, we'll be fine." -- Anon Guest

Human Yoss clambered up the wreckage of their vessel. The bad news was that they were in the middle of flakk-off nowhere with busted comms. The

Challenge #02135-E306: It's a Bit Like Bognor

Humans have 3 states of existence. Yes, No, and hold my drink. -- Anon Guest

Thax had never met a Human before, but it was highly advisable that she get one for her expedition into the Edge Territories. The information available was... incredibly scant. Well. The information that wasn't also attached to an offensensitivity warning.

Humans have three states of existence, it said, Yes, No, and "Hold My Drink". They were Deathworlders, but they were also classed as "Mostly Harmless" until provoked.

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A 312-post collection

Challenge #02214-F024: Ill Met in Sarkis Ten

Challenge #02208-F018: Relative Superman

Challenge #02207-F017: Silent and Deadly

Challenge #02204-F014: Complex Organic Chemistry

Challenge #02200-F010: Mor Daka is Bad

Challenge #02194-E365: Won Family by Combat

Challenge #02180-E351: Looks Peaceful Enough

Challenge #02173-E344: Predator Practice

Challenge #02172-E343: One Notorious Encounter at Midnight

Challenge #02160-E331: Not That Simple

Challenge #02156-E327: They'll Be Back

Challenge #02154-E325: She's Still a Pup

Challenge #02153-E324: Legendary Salvation

Challenge #02142-E313: Been There, Done That

Challenge #02135-E306: It's a Bit Like Bognor