Humans are Insane

A 189-post collection

Challenge #01635-D174: The Most Unsuitable Food of All

Further to the "cotton candy" prompt, more empty calories of the "moment on the lips" variety. -- Anon Guest

Humans had a knack for making foods that could kill them, Rael reflected. Often within twenty consecutive servings. Not that anyone ever tried to end their lives that way, but the potential was there.

Take cheesecake, for example. And Rael often did. In one neat package, humanity had managed to encapsulate a nigh-lethal combination of fats and sugars. That should have been plenty for the seemingly suicidal humans. But they didn't stop there. They dipped that cheesecake in chocolate - weapons-grade theobromine for certain Havenworlder species - another combination of sugars and fats that made the confection even more lethal.

But that still wasn't enough.

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Challenge #01632-D171: Magical Memories

Smells, scents, can trigger memories. The hot tar smell of a Summer road combined with the distinctive scent of an Ice Cream Van. Opening a drawer and the scent your Grandmother always wore wafting up. Memories. -- Anon Guest

Humans can trigger their memories with an astonishing amount of things. Words, sensations in their pliable skin, sounds... and smells. They are so entangled into their senses that they have adapted their livesuits to give them sensory feedback from their surrounding environment.

Radiation

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Challenge #01626-D165: A Conversation About the Greater Deregulations

"Is this an argument you actually want to win?"

"No, but - "

"Then stop talking about it," -- RecklessPrudence

"But it's still an issue," countered Praal. "There are entire planets dedicated to hatred and spite."

"And you would stop them with more hatred and spite?"

"No, but--"

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Challenge #01618-D157: Worms?

Earworms, those tunes that get into your head and drive you nuts, from jingles to inane pop tunes. -- Anon Guest

There was something wrong with Human Steve. All the K'shardi could detect it, even those who were not skilled at detecting flaws in the ship's human. It was the way that Human Steve kept wincing and flinching that set everyone on edge.

Humans were Deathworlders. Deathworlders were very hard to permanently harm. Therefore, anything that annoyed a Deathworlder had to be

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Challenge #01610-D149: Long Live the Leader

A single powerful person who is convinced of their own Rightness with no thought of introspection or means of restraint is dangerous, moreso to others than to themselves. -- Anon Guest

Jack didn't just believe in the Leader. He had a firm and unwavering Belief in the leader. Jack was wont to Believe with all his heart and soul. Though he still prayed to the God of the holy works, the Leader was the next best thing to a foretold coming. The

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Challenge #01606-D145: Miss Handling

"You place too much trust in me, I think."

"Until you can place more trust in yourself you may rely on mine in you." -- RecklessPrudence

Rael got the shock of his life just being invited to someone else's home. Five seconds inside the door, he got one big enough to turn his entire body silver.

Officer Lyr Marken, Subchief of Security for the JOAT sector of the Elemeno, had just handed him her infant daughter. With nothing more than a negligent,

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Challenge #01605-D144: Articles of Beauty

Us humans have skin lotions and hair straighteners/curlers - what do other species do to improve the Outer Alien? -- Anon Guest

There are things you can sell anywhere. Popcorn, for example, is the only known deathworlder food that is so inoffensive that it can be sold to Havenworlders. Many more things change uses between species.

"What is this liquid?"

"We call it 'varnish'. It's a clear polymer coat that adds shine to static surfaces."

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Challenge #01588-D127: Culture Clash

how to be a good (Insert name here) Citizen. Let's hear it from one of the Lizard cultures. --Knitnan

"And who's your daddy, little one?"

Preek didn't understand the human's question. She had never known the word before this moment. "I have a Pripa and a Seppa[1]."

"I have trouble with all these new words," confessed the human. "It's so confusing. What's wrong with 'he' and 'she' and 'mommy' and 'daddy'?"

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Challenge #01586-D125: Not the Best Intentions

The "nanny" in "nanny state" isn't for you. They're to keep the oligarchs from trashing every toy in the nursery and peeing on the ceiling. -- RecklessPrudence

"What this new world needs is the elimination of this Nanny State!"

Those who the government selected to start this world in their own image... reacted exactly as they should. They cheered and hooted and eventually overthrew the people who stood for reason and regulation. Those who stood to gain the most did indeed gain.

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Challenge #01568-D107: I Play to Relax, Damnit!

There was, after all, mad science to be done. Although it was only really mildly deranged science. -- RecklessPrudence

Curses filled the air. Since Amy wasn't one to curse, Tess left her bread in progress to investigate. "What's going on?"

"Therapy," said Amy. "I got recommended this... Minecraft... as a means to relax, but... this stupid stuff doesn't have any logic to it."

Tess finished drying her hands so she could lean on Amy's shoulder. Peering at the window, she read, "Redstone?

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Challenge #01557-D096: Strange Fellows

They were canvassing house to house (try political candidate or party member).

"Oh! Oh! I think we might want to miss this one."

The letter box was a suspiciously shaped blue object, the bin left out on the kerb was full of empty jammy dodger packets, and the clothes line, well it didn't bear thinking about! -- Anon Guest

Paula looked. Dangling in the breeze from the hills' hoist were three Starfleet uniforms she recognised and potentially three more that she didn't.

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Challenge #01552-D091: A Lesson to Learn

Something from a non-human perspective about the deaths-per-terawatt-hour rates of various power sources in the early 21st century [source #1, #2, update of #1], and the irrationality of pushing for more coal over renewables (cough cough current Australian government), or literally anything over nuclear - even without fusion - please?

...especially when you take into account that living within 50 miles of a coal-fired plant exposes you to over three times as much ionising radiation per year as living within the same

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Challenge #01551-D090: Case Studies in Strangeness

(A scientist's notes while monitoring a human's thoughts)

While trying to focus, the subject held an intense discussion with itself berating itself to focus.

If the scans are anything to go by, it has not enabled the desired effect. -- RecklessPrudence

Everyone knows that humans are insane. The extent of that insanity and the resultant dysfunctions have yet to be completely mapped. Which is why the Centre For Human Studies exist. Sometimes, people are so desperate to know what's wrong with them

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Challenge #01550-D089: Inspired Desperation

This is dumb, like dosing Tasmanian Devils with meth and then stuffing them down your pants dumb. -- RecklessPrudence

"So let me get this straight," said B'tiz. Who clearly thought that ze was in error. "You are building a catapult to literally throw yourself at the enemy ship, where you will somehow infiltrate and then suborn one of their vessels, rescue me, and leave them stranded on this micro-planet."

"Trebuchet, but yes. That's the gist of it. Trebuchet's are easier to make.

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Challenge #01543-D082: No More Tea!

"What are They doing here?" he pointed to a pile of colourful objects.

"Oh, the Tea Cosies, we find them very handy in the Experimental Maths Lab."

Kudos for referencing The Goodies, "I'm a Tea pot! I'm a Tea pot" meltdowns. -- Anon Guest

"People actually go mad and think they're tea pots?" said Kerl. "That happens?"

"Not... quite," allowed Mars, who was the head of the department. "Have you any understanding of five-dimensional math?"

"I don't think five people alive have

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