Amalgam Universe

A 2284-post collection

Challenge #00334: The first Christmas in Space

Someone has set up a little model nativity scene, and then has to explain to the others “why they are sacrificing that baby to the animals”

The ships’ human had set up a small altar in their assigned space. There was a small pine tree (live) that had been stasis-shipped from Britania. There was assorted sparkly lights, a metallic plastic substance referred to as ‘tinfoil’ and numerous spheroids hung about the little branches.

The saurians who were the rest of the crew observed in shifts. Everything the human did was recorded out of understandable paranoia, of course, but watching it happen in person was part of the experience.

When the human was done with the tree - not very many leaves showed through by the time she was done - she began on another strange ritual.

It was a diorama, they were certain of that. The scene was contained - more or less - in an effigy of a wooden hut. Sheep, cows, goats, chickens, a horse and a dog turned the hut into a barn.

There was a human figure with wings. Enquiry revealed it was an angel. A divine figure of some bizarre human theism. And they were all bizarre.

There were other humans in strange garb. Three very ornate ones were the 'wise men’. A man and a woman in simpler robes were called 'Mary’ and 'Joseph’.

It was the centerpiece of the diorama that caused shock and alarm. The tiny figure of an infant, lain in a sacrificial bowl.

It took days of explaining for the human to help them understand that it was not a scene of sacrifice, but one of celebration. There was a lot of singing involved. And three documentaries. And five story-books.

The human, by the end of it, didn’t want to get started on Santa Claus.

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Challenge #00332: Wark

Someone has been crammed into a penguin suit, protesting or not, and wow does it look good on them

The last thing he remembered was a voice demanding, “FORMAL ATTIRE IS MANDATORY,” before the minions descended.

He missed his JOAT coat the most. At least the shoes were marginally serviceable. Too shiny and too thin, but they could do in a pinch.

The pants were completely wrong. Black was not his colour. He was anti-religious. The white waistcoat fit his

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Challenge #00331: Unexpectedly Useful

“What a good thing you had all those clockwork ducks”

[AN: Your Girl Genius fandom is showing. And so is mine, because I know exactly where that line came from]

Rael peeked through the one hole in the barrier that let him see without being seen.

“Okay,” he recapped. “They’ve got our ship surrounded. They’re armed to the teeth. And there’s hundreds of them. And only two of us.”

Shayde

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Challenge #00321: Cupcakes! Cupcakes! Cupcakes!

Nobody was entirely sure whether to curse the humans or begin worshipping them for introducing the cupcake to the galactic community. 

The human capacity for invention - alongside their notorious insanity, of course - knows no bounds. Therefore it should have been no surprise that both extended to their food.

Bread is universal. Leavening is not. Cake is known, and has saved some species from extinction. Fruitcake - a human seasonal delicacy - has saved civilizations.

And don’t get anyone

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