Amalgam Universe

A 2280-post collection

Challenge #00930-B199: Ban the Hammer

All parts should go together without forcing. You must remember that the parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you. Therefore, if you can’t get them together again, there must be a reason. By all means, do not use a hammer. — IBM maintenance manual, 1925

Taking things apart is easy. Putting them back again, not so much.

So
far, Rael had had lots of practice with the former. He’d found he’d attempted reassembly in the wrong order. Five times. Each iteration was a
new and interesting method of getting everything out of order.

“Trouble?” said Dode. She’d been watching him as idle entertainment for ten minutes.

“I took stock,” said Rael. “I noted and logged carefully each and every piece and where it was meant to go…” He vented his frustration with a
wail of, “Why won’t they flakking go back together?”

“Try building around the main spring. Wind it up, but don’t let it unwind.”

Rael tried it, and boggled at how well it worked.

“The
trick is not in knowing that it can be assembled,” said Dode. “The trick is knowing how the pieces won’t get in each other’s way.”

[Muse food remaining: 16. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Challenge #00929-B198: Fortifying Education

A Havenworlder finds out that even after reaching the Information Age, with early-warning systems and all the other resources available to a species at such a level of development, tsunamis (“The term refers to several million tonnes of water traveling at two hundred meters per second.”) still killed an average of seven thousand people consistently, every year, over four decades

(last four from 2015)

Th’k’x had to wear full health monitors and have a Medik on standby, just to access

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Challenge #00927-B196: Just My Type

The opposite to the last one - a being that is unattractive to their own race that a human finds beautiful.

Rae usually disliked going into the lower-gravity realms of the
station. She had a pathological dislike of insects that included
antisocial actions like screaming and flailing if one of them touched
her.

Only the Huf’nuf’ruf remained unoffended.

Her intent
was to go down, do her job, and then retreat into one of the luxury spas
to soak the imagined

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Challenge #00926-B195: In the Instincts of the Beholder

http://chokingonfeelings.tumblr.com/post/124810464889/livingzeppeli-i-want-a-sci-fi-series-to-have-an

“I want a sci-fi series to have an alien race that literally every other race but humans thinks are the hottest fucking thing but it just completely goes over humans’ heads.  Like instead of the Asari or some neon skinned space babe, every other race is just fucking fawning over some bizarre spider race.  When humans don’t get it they’re just like, “What the fuck’s wrong with you?  She’s hot, dude.

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Challenge #00919-B188: Here's to the Parents

a quote from historian Will Durant as I remember it. “Let me give tribute to all those Mothers, who over time dragged their children kicking and screaming through centuries of Civilization.” I presume he means the good Mums. Have fun.

“Say-shun! Say-shun!” Sprout ricocheted around the cabin, enjoying the free-fall before docking. “SAY-SHUN!”

Gavin fielded her on the fifth pass. “Settle down. Sprout. We gotta remember Rule One when we dock. What’s Rule One?”

“S'ay close.”

“That’s right. Good girl.

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Challenge #00915-B184: Wheeeeeeeeee!

Rolling down a hill is a valid use of your time.

Rael reached the top of the hill. There were not enough sweet treats in the human lexicon to pay for this much ‘just wanderin’ to his mind.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “We’ve reached the top of the hill. Now what?”

“We lie down,” said Shayde.

“For the last time, I am not engaging in extreme haptic communication with you.”

“I’m no’ askin’ ye to,” she said. “We lie down. Then

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Challenge #00914-B183: Cautious Eaters

Some species evolved without certain chemicals in their background, or with them causing no effect. Therefore they never evolved a receptor for it. Meanwhile others had to identify toxins or marker chemicals immediately and are highly sensitive even if it’s unnecessary -ie bitter vegetables -. This leads to nonplussed galactic citizens wondering why the deathworlder took a bite of that boring stuff and immediately gagged or refused it entirely because it smelled like pure evil.

Food unites. Meals shared tend to

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Challenge #00913-B182: The Challenge of Challenging

So capsaicin is dangerous, and even the species that can eat it recreationally recognise the effects as painful. Mint, on the other hand, even in high doses, causes no such thing. (L-Carvone (spearmint) at least appears totally harmless). Safe fun food for everyone?

Humans are insane. No other species makes a game out of painful ingredients in otherwise harmless things. No other species combines schadenfreude and friendship, and expects the friendship to continue.

And no other species can convince otherwise sane cogniscents

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Challenge #00912-B181: Mama Hen-Bear

The adventures of Tyr’ip and her big scary bodyguard mother hens.

(does this make her technically the species ambassador? Not a galactic ambassador I guess since her people are already part of the community and if there was one for every species encounter there’d be billions of them but still)

[Galactic ambassadors generally stand for their native planet and, in the case of low-gravvers and nomadic ship-tribes, habitation construct.]

It had been quite the journey. The humans formed a walking

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Challenge #00907-B176: SUO's - Small Useful Objects

A lot of us have a “kit” stuff we cart/tote everywhere, stuff we need. Mothers carry stuff to feed,amuse and cope with the Sprogs. Crafts people carry weird stuff(well I do). So what does a Joat carry? Or pick another character/profession and add kit.

Rael could tell a newbie JOAT. It was the way their limbs trembled
under the weight of the gear in their coats. And the gentle ‘ping’ of
stitching giving way under the stress. He

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Challenge #00900-B169: Mama Bear

Murphy’s law of Babies 2:  Toddler gone? It’s with the humans.

Nita almost didn’t notice the curious little Numidid until she nearly stepped on the poor child. She was big for a human, and this little scrap of pinfeathers barely cleared her boot.

“Whoops,” she said. “Hello, little peep. Where did you come from?”

Alas, the tiny child was still talking Scribble. Multilingual Scribble, but still Scribble. It varied between Numidid, Amity English, and Galstand. She sounded irritated, and

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Challenge #00899-B168: Rule of Innocence

Murphy’s law of Babies: When you look away for two seconds and your child has absconded, it will invariably be found in whatever situation would cause the quickest messy death or most political upheaval if an adult were in the same situation.

Luckily children can get away with anything by virtue of being children, and will not be immediately vaporised for hiding behind Graknor, Conqueror of Galaxies’ legs.

Sahra let her toddler go so she could tuck herself back in. Poor

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Challenge #00898-B167: Rule of Cute

Observation: The more fragile a species is, the less danger it is in (physically) from the humans. The ones that can withstand them are treated aggressively and with much suspicion, and the dainty little ones are coddled and cooed over. And petted if the humans can get away with it.

[AN: Just FYI, not all Havenworlders are tiny. But loads of them are]

It should have been an ordinary shortcut. Just a quick dash home to pick up her LifeAlert bracelet. She

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Challenge #00897-B166: Adult Onset Responsibility

So if the first person to contact another world is automatically ambassador, what happens if an accident involves first contact being between the alien civilisation and Bigot McAssface, who would fit right in on that Greater Deregulation. Specifically, the rest of BMA’s civilisation, especially the ones interested in galactic alliance, would usually say the complete opposite of anything he does, but now he’s their galactic spokesperson.

[AN: This story will contain slurs because my main character is an arsehole]

“Keeping

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Challenge #00891-B160: Nil Mortifi Sans Lucre?

FAQ Assassins

- Business hours are 9:00 to 5:30
- Please deposit last will and testament in box below
- Knock and remove shoes before entering

They say that life is cheap on Ghiisham, and they are correct. Life is cheap. You get one for free. Living can be expensive and death, though inevitable, is much more expensive than taxes.

Especially if you want it tailored.

Junior assassin Mykoss looked up at the client. They were all over sores and

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