Menu

Subscribe

Amalgam Universe

A 2280-post collection

Challenge #01438-C343: Paradise is Relative

http://deathcomes4u.tumblr.com/post/153665498898/humans-are-weird

The post: A continuation on the "other planets don't have temperature fluctuations and stuff like earth does" theme including things like humans living on/swimming in volcanic areas, sending humans to the antarctic because drones don't work in the cold, and whenever earthquakes knock everything down building on the same are a again but with better earthquake proofing. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Distracting GIF warning for that link]

Vri'thol was having difficulty with the concept. "This planet is heavily volcanic, and prone to both extreme weather and extreme temperature changes... and you think it is nearly perfect?"

"Well of course," said one of the human crew. Pol. "This would make a lovely resort planet."

"I did mention the vulcanism, yes?"

"Yes. You did. Most of them are hot springs and our species has developed technology with accurate forewarning for eruptions. Mostly because of Japan and Hawaii."

Vri'thol looked those two up. Two island nations that lived on volcanic islands and... utilised this. "Ah. So you plan on using the springs for geothermal energy?"

"Only the really hot ones. Most of them are going to become hot bath emporiums."

Hot... bath... "You bathe in volcanic waters?"

"Of course. It's a real treat."

The mind boggled so hard that it needed a vacation. "And the areas with crystallized ice precipitation?"

"Snow," corrected Pol. "Those would be fantastic for skiing."

Vri'thol looked that one up, too. O Powers. More human insanity. They strapped flat boards to their feet and used them to propel themselves across this... snow... at speeds ranging from sensible to attempted suicide. "And... the extreme weather?"

"Nothing we're not used to," beamed Pol. "A little re-enforcement does wonders. And we can earthquake-proof everything as we build it."

Now the mind that boggled wanted a quiet retirement tending food insects. It had worked too hard. It deserved as much. "That implies that you have built so often in earthquake zones that you have developed methods to protect structures from further disturbances."

"Yup," chirped Pol.

Humans were deathworlders. Vri'thol had to remember that. "If this planet is a paradise... we might know of twenty other planets you may enjoy."

"I think we'll start with just this one, but forward the list to my company and we might swing a deal."

Humans...

(Muse food remaining: 6. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01437-C342: Bringing Home Strays

It is common knowledge that humans crave companionship from cats and dogs. But one day the human rescues a pest animal, insisting the creature is their new companion. -- Anon Guest

The human pack-bonding instinct is a strong one. Always be certain that your human isn't bringing unwanted creatures back to your vessel with it. - From Every Cogniscent's Guide to Human Care and Maintenance.

Something in the human's vacation clothes was moving.

"Dee?" warned Kla'kish. "Have you found a pet?" Pet,

Read more »

Challenge #01436-C341: Bizarre Reactions

Dinosaurs in zero g -- OohLookShiny

Of all the things evolution in space has wrought, of all the new species discovered in long-abandoned space stations... This one definitely took the cake.

They started as small pterosaurs, and their prey were some kind of bipedal herbivore. Like all saurians, they also had feathers. There was also an ample supply of cockroaches, as well as the plants that had once been in the agri section and had since gone wild.

Everything had gone wild.

Read more »

Challenge #01435-C340: Slow Progress

Don't put my ai into something and expect me to be nice to you. -- SeaDragon1012

"Got'cha body," said Gunther, aka call-me-mister-damnit. "Fac'shree sec'nd."

Grammar was still a sticking point. From what she'd seen of the news channels on this planet, a slurring grammar had become normal. Mary let it slide.

"You checked that it was working, right?"

"Yeh, it pass'd full Diag. And it's gotta r'mote thing so y'ull still do the imp'rtant stuff."

Which meant printing him food. Mary had

Read more »

Challenge #01434-C339: Pack Bonding is Strange

Someone who doesn't understand all the hoopla over puppies and kittens gets a more unconventional pet and loves it to pieces -- OohLookShiny

I'm not everyone. They say everyone feeds the Skitties on the sly. I don't. They say everyone will say 'hello' to a dog or coo over a kitten or a puppy. I don't.

I mean, sure, they're cute and all, but... I'm just not into them. I've heard all the arguments, by the way.

"Humans are pack animals..." Yeah

Read more »

Challenge #01433-C338: Pressing Suit

Courting gifts given in hope of acceptance, they vary from culture to species. -- Knitnan

On the mating rituals of Galactic Species...

As a whole, the mating habits of Galactic Society are so wide and varied that one may be excused for missing the signals of another. For example, most species gift food to their desired mate, but the solitary and territorial B'la'b'lankh sing[1] for their mates.

To the Vigin, a food-gift of meat is the deadliest of insults, while to

Read more »

Challenge #01432-C337: Very Wrong Number

Phone numbers and... unxpected... results. Your choice, the FBI story, the Red Phone story, both in one, or one of both. -- RecklessPrudence

Not many people called her on the comms. Even Rael was satisfied by sending her Pings. Text messages somewhere between chats and emails, as she understood it. Some methods of communication had homogenised since the eighties.

Phones were the biggest. She didn't have a phone as she knew it. The closest she had to a phone was a set,

Read more »

Challenge #01428-C333: Educational Amusement

A bird prompt for the Numidids: The story of Kevin-the-deathworlder and the deathworlder bird. (Even their birds are brutal!) -- RecklessPrudence

"...and even... photographers."

The scene cut to a camera-wielding human cautiously pursuing a Killdeer plover doing its broken-wing act. He was making soothing cooing noises, but they were clearly not working.

The person behind the camera was giggling.

The bird floundered aimlessly around as the photographer attempted to capture it without hurting it.

After a total of five failed attempts to

Read more »

Challenge #01427-C332: Illegal Saviors

Someone going through human archives, and they find this story and the key phrase of it:

"It may be ‘illegal’, but those who risk their liberty to ~save the world~ should never be reprimanded, no matter what those in power say." -- RecklessPrudence

When the people of Pre-Space Planetary System #J4N3T-111811260516 finally get into Galactic Society, they'll find some funny things in the archives. If they go looking.

My name is Leon. And technically? I'm a criminal.

GalStands&Legs - that's

Read more »

Challenge #01425-C330: Corrupted Signals

Truly showing someone you love them. -- RecklessPrudence

Mating displays in the common human are more than perplexing. Subtle signs of affection are usually missed and overt signals of hostility are misinterpreted. The dominating culture of an individual can lead to confusion when meeting an individual from another...

"Hey babe."

"I'm working." Kiri didn't even look up from her work. Didn't acknowledge him.

"All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl," said Don. He thought he was being flirtatious. She

Read more »

Challenge #01423-C328: Avoid The Greens

People discover, quite by accident, that aliens and spicy food don't mix, and that capsaicin is considered a deadly toxin by most species. -- YizukiKhons

[AN: Yeah sorry I'm late. I had to mind Miss Chaos through an exploration of QUT and some of the courses available there.]

Lynn had been trading with the Hyracont for some time. After years of setting up blind trading arrangements, she got to know a brave few. In their own livesuits, of course. There was never

Read more »

Challenge #01422-C327: Some Things Don't Work

"Kill it with fire!" -- OohLookShiny

It was a joke amongst the Glunk Cleanup Detail. They were a mix of either the most dedicated cleaners, or the most incorrigible of criminals. And both were under careful watch from rescue teams, but for different reasons.

And all of them knew that flamethrowers had negligible effects on the Glunk.

Well. All of them that weren't new.

Once in a great, long while, someone who was unfamiliar with all the tried-and-failed methods of cleaning up

Read more »

Challenge #01421-C326: Finding Need

"The world has need of you." It's a poem by Ellen Bass. Write something based on it please. -- Knitnan

[AN: You can read the poem over here if you're interested.]

Space is big. It's easy to imagine that the dark gulf doesn't care for the whims of one small scavenger and their ship. It was easy to feel like one tiny candle in a vast expanse of hungry darkness.

And doing EVA, checking out some empty and dark hulk... it was

Read more »

Challenge #01414-C319: If it Ain't Broke...

"If it isn't broke don't fix it." -- Knitnan

It was a rule every JOAT broke, sooner or later. The desire to tweak, finesse, and otherwise improve something in their radius of activity would become overwhelming.

Tel found it extremely difficult resist, stranded on a comms station that had barely enough life support for technical staff. She had edible algae making her air, and a daily supply of algae cakes that kept her alive. But also bored out of her skull.

At

Read more »

Challenge #01411-C316: Hammer of Peace

"There's no need to fear, I come in peace,"

"Well first of all, everything you just said is a lie,"

"And second of all?"

"You're not what I'm afraid of." -- OohLookShiny

Clair the Mercenary took shelter beside the Phemeropt behind the boulder. "I know there was a distress call," she said. "Your colony is in danger and we don't know why."

"Erinacs," whispered the Havenworlder. "They've eaten all of our scouts."

"Ah," Clair stood up and got on the comms. "We

Read more »