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Amalgam Universe

A 2290-post collection

Challenge #01521-D060: Perspective Post Peril

(Couldn't make this entirely gender-neutral. I suspect the terms do not exist in English. Although I know half a dozen ways to say one of them in various fictional universes, one of them might be the correct English form of address. As for a gender-neutral term for the person in charge of a Duchy (apart from the major-domo or seneschal or whatever who's actually running it all... idk)

[Person #1]: (VERY full of themselves, has been nothing but irritating, has no training, and has barged into a situation where they could get everyone killed and demanded to be in charge, only to be offended when Person #2 refuses) I am (longwinded recitation of titles). (More titles). (MORE titles), who are you?

[Person #2] (has been working the whole time, is stressed) Who am I? I am [His/Her/Their) Grace, (Sir/Lady/?) [Name], (Duke/Duchess/?) of the People Who Don't Give A Rat's Arse, and Knight of the Order of Go-Fuck-Yourself. And of course, although it may be of no importance and I beg your pardon, the person with the relevant training toward keeping us all alive. -- RecklessPrudence

Space. There's quite a lot of it. As you might expect, the gulfs between points of interest are vast and there's no real need for official shipping lanes beyond the confidence to be found if, say, one's ship happens to suffer a catastrophic breakdown in the middle of nowhere. Such as what has happened to the Higher Class whilst it was so desperately off-course that there was no such thing as a course to take, any more.

Oh, and it also happens to be falling towards a Brown Dwarf, a star so small that it might double as a gas giant. The coldest class of star yet discovered. Of course, none of this matters should one's vessel actually fall inside, where the temperatures are still hot enough to burn one alive whilst also crushing one to death.

A fate that awaits the Higher Class, all its crew, and Ambassador Verille. Who happens to be the one to have ordered the "intense course correction" that got the ship into trouble in the first place. All because ze was in a hurry. And now the Ambassador was impatient about the repairs. Not because of the impending doom on the Higher Class, but because ze was now late in meeting hir friends on Hitizzy.

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Challenge #01520-D059: Lost and Found

[Person #1]: Spectro-analysis of the ship dates it as having been in orbit here for slightly more than three hundred million years.

[Person #2]: They built shit to last back in the Paleozoic, huh?

(your choice on whether Person #1's results bear any resemblance to reality) -- RecklessPrudence

Tel swore under her breath and worked her fastest to get that comment out of the feed to the rest of the Galactic Alliance. One cut, and Ambassador Shayde's glib and unnecessary remark was

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Challenge #01519-D058: Watch What You Say

[Person #1]: (after describing the expedition) Won't be any fighting or danger, just research

[Person #2]: (who's seen this shit before) Yes, it will be totally safe. Nothing can go wrong. At least it won't be raining.

[Person #2]: You could just as well held up a sign that says "Fuck Murphy" on it, and expect less trouble. -- RecklessPrudence

"It's an exploratory mission into uninhabited territory. The entire system is incapable of hosting life. What could go wrong?"

"O Powers... you

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Challenge #01512-D051: Fascinating...

For the "Humans are space orcs": Aliens can only focus on one thing at a time. They're far more efficient because they hyperfocus and complete any task in a far shorter amount of time. So humans penchant of talking/humming/listening to music while working is both distracting and baffling. -- Anon Guest

Half the crew were watching the ship's human in their segregated kitchen. Terran music blared at maximum allowed volume, and the human sang slightly louder. Inside the quarantine zone,

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Challenge #01507-D046: In Memorium

No matter how I go, I want it reported that I drowned in moonlight, strangled by my own bra. - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Official reports be damned. There was a way she wanted to be remembered, and that is how those who loved her reported it. All over the world. Even in the news. They named the official cause, but added, "she wanted it known that she drowned in moonlight, strangled by her own bra."

It was poetry, and it persisted.

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Challenge #01504-D043: Puzzling Piece

“And when you’re young you want to fit in. Hell, I still want to fit in with certain [sophonts], but as you get older you get a little more discriminating.” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Even when he didn't have the words for it, Rael knew that he was different from his creche sibs. They were able to do more, work more efficiently. They didn't need as much of the hosts of chemicals they regularly added to Rael's mostly-liquid body. They

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Challenge #01504-D043: Self-lost Man

“I don’t feel very much like Pooh today,“ said Pooh.

“There there,” said Piglet. “I’ll bring you tea and honey until you do.” -- Anon Guest

Ax'and'l found his human business partner in an odd position in the hallway. His legs were up the wall, and the rest of his body was sprawled across the floor. "You are not due for Silly Season, yet. Are you unwell?"

"I'm not sure. I'm not feelin' myself."

"In a public area? I should

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Challenge #01503-D042: One Dull Afternoon in an Ambassadorial Office

“I feel I’m very sane about how crazy I am.” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Rael slowly turned to glare at Ambassador Shayde. She had said this out of the blue, apropos of nothing, and continued browsing on her personal screens as if nothing had ever happened. He took an educated guess, "Quote of the day?"

"Twitter feed," said Shayde. "That's definitely sommat I missed out on. One hundred and forty letters tae say somethin' cool. Brevity bein' th' soul o'

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Challenge #01502-D041: Inconvenienced

“In my opinion, a problem derails your life and an inconvenience is not being able to get a nice seat on the un-derailed train.” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

"This is an enormous problem," opined the Ambassador for Greater Deregulation (Second West). "ANd if we have a problem, then you're going to have a problem."

This sounded like a threat... but the logic behind it escaped Drixal. "I beg your pardon," she said. "I was under the impression that you needed vital

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Challenge #01500-D039: Guarded Mundanity

“There is no point at which you can say, ‘Well, I’m successful now. I might as well take a nap'.” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Success is the closest thing there is to perpetual motion. One begins by striving for it. Once it is obtained once, the struggle becomes to maintain it. After that, success becomes a higher rung. Higher and higher. Almost impossible to attain. With more people admiring and watching, there are higher standards from everyone.

Only those who

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Challenge #01498-D037: Pay Dirt

There's money in Muck. Points for referencing Harry King, he of the Golden River. -- Anon Guest

Recycling is de rigeur in space. Throwing something out into the void means having less of the thing that made it up in the first place. There's many a spacer who, setting foot on a planet for the first time, is astonished by rain, and water running down the gutters. Or, in the case of Earth, the trash mountains of the United States.

Spacers often

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Challenge #01488-D027: Unrealised, Unrequited, Unrecognised

“If [he][1] was unable to see that I had feelings for him (at least five, but sometimes as many as seven)…” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Lyr watched Ambassador Shayde attempting to flirt with Rael. The impossible force against an oblivious stone. There had been more than one instance of interspecies dating that floundered heavily on the sending a signal stage. And not merely because of cultural difference. Subconscious body-speak could cause the most inconvenient miscommunications.

One species' flirting is another's

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Challenge #01484-D023: Subtle Dangers

Why should I go crazy when I can just as easily wait for it right here. Who wants gum? - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Something had to exist that did not like quiet, and M'prax was reasonably certain that it was the Ship's Human. The dangerous deathworlders had a reputation for being unstoppable protectors and, more to the point, profitable creatures to have. But they were also... well... deathworlders.

It was hard not to think of the being named Sally as an

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Challenge #01483-D022: Portents of Doom

“You know the bad thing about being a survivor… You keep having to get into difficult situations in order to show off your gift.” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

"I wouldn't ordinarily complain about your... shenanigans," said the Cuidgari Security Chief everyone knew as Sherlock, "you have such a finely-tuned sense for skating on the borders of legality. But this is the third time this week. Are you bored, or have you and Rael had a... 'tiff' as you call it?"

"In

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Challenge #01482-D021: All the Luck

“If my life wasn’t funny, it would just be true, and that is unacceptable” - Carrie Fisher -- RecklessPrudence

Kyle was a Lucker. One of the unfortunate few with the Luck gene. His bad luck was everyone's good, and vice versa. His 'range' was five Standard Distance Units, or he would be isolated on a small station just big enough for one. The universe, it seemed, liked balance.

Fortunately for Kyle, he had found an 'out'. He moonlighted as a stand-up

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