Amalgam Universe

Challenge #02057-E233: In-sult-roduction

A genetically upgraded cat is hired as a ship's crew member. The Captain unfortunately thinks that since ancient cats hunted vermin, this crew-member would do the same. -- Anon Guest

When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me. -- Ancient Human Mnemonic/Caution.

Mixi Thicktail made certain she was crisp, businesslike, and formal. This was her first posting on a UFTP vessel and people had doubtless heard things about Nufurria and its residents by now. The difference between now and then was that all of this was her choice.

Her education was her choice. Her body shape was her choice. Her libido and reproduction was her choice. Her companions and bedmates would be her choice, too. Assuming she could embolden herself enough to make them. Her anxiety, however, dictated flex/scratch pads installed at her uniform hip. And they were very useful now. She forced herself to disengage so she could salute her Captain and her immediate superior. "Assistant trainee engineer Mixi Thicktail reporting for duty, sirs."

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Challenge #02055-E231: Weapons of Mass Deception

"[Blank] can't expect us to just cry on command, " Person A muttered. They got a sniffle in reply and when they glanced over the tears were already streaming down person B's face.

"Are you serious?" Person A said.

Person B just grinned at them and choked back a fake sob. -- OohLookShiny

"They don't have much experience with women," Human Jori reminded them. "They operate based entirely off of entertainments, which are full of... regrettable stereotypes."

"Which is why we're wearing pink

Challenge #02053-E229: Bohemian Nights

(Title: Bohemian Rhapsody: A Space Opera) [what happens when the night-owl Humans take over the interstellar comms] -- Anon Guest

[AN: Can you please not have your titles be part of my prompts? It fucks up my routine to a rather major degree.]

Dead air. Silence. These things are anathema to the human mind. To them, there is such a thing as too quiet. Lock a Human in an anechoic chamber and they will go mad... And this was why the Party

Challenge #02051-E227: Death Trade

Kill it! Kill it with lethal amounts of Sodium Chloride! -- @internutter

The enormous bipedal chordate flinched under the -pardon the pun- assault. Cried out. And yet, it was still standing after five rounds rapid. Then the assembled Cryptels watched in stunned amazement as the Deathworlder actually licked the powder from its skin.

"Mmmm..." It bared its enormous teeth. "YesthisisexactlywhatIneed."

It actually craved the death mineral. T'lu didn't know what to do. Ze clenched backwards out of instinct as this giant went

Challenge #02050-E226: Stockholm's Invisible Bars

Humanity has always fascinated a certain alien “scientist” shall we say, though in reality they were nothing more than a monster. Their newest “pets” were the result of their most recent experiments in gaslighting and the human phenomenon known as Stockholm syndrome. Never had one so cruel ever known such an horrific punishment by the hands of humanity. -- Sorry

[AN: No you're not]

Beware becoming your obsession. There are many that will eat you alive and not even spit out your

Challenge #02047-E223: Place Your Bets

I have a lot of questions about this and I want none of them answered. -- TheDragonsFlame

There was a segment of vine in the isolation chamber. Recognisable as a section of The Glunk only by its unique hue. Spotted along it were black dots. Arranged underneath it were sections of Known Station Building Material.

There was also a betting pool board instead of algorithms on the whiteboards that were left there for those who liked to think in physical space.[1]

Challenge #02046-E222: Mundane Profundity

http://avita-creator.tumblr.com/post/175729151210/theshitpostcalligrapher-mysteryseeker

For these are the hidden gems of the time known as the shitpost era of the Internet, and are now treated in our spacefaring days, as they treated their own classical texts of Shakespeare and Marlowe. -- Anon Guest

It was a cross-stitch sampler in a frame, and it had profound words carefully sewn into the underlying fabric. It is what you do with the gift of life that determines who you are. Next to

Challenge #02042-E218: Something's Happening Here

Love your Humans are space Orcs, especially the ones about Ozzies.

Here is one for you, How even without luck, all humans get gut feelings, warning of unseen dangers and how they can drive out decisions especially in rather precarious situations. -- Adam in Darwin

[AN: Never sweat your spelling. If I can grok your meaning, I'll correct that biz for the post. Hope you haven't gone troppo waiting for this post to happen, and have a Gaytime on me :D ]

Certain

Challenge #02041-E217: Cautious Welcome

How would aliens with different lifespans play out alongside humanity? Can you please do an alien (instead of dog) version of this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/wholesomememes/comments/5wz4gy/wearelikeelvesto_dogs/

Thanks! -- Anon Guest

For generations, Thack has watched over us. He is our Human and we are his crew. He has seen us all born. He has wept as we all passed of old age at anywhere between fifteen and twenty. He has taught

Challenge #02040-E216: Just One Thing

If it exists, there's probably a Wikipedia page about it. -- TheDragonsFlame

When the Sky People left, they left behind the Thing. It was flat, and it could bend, and it would not break. It was not food, and it was not a tool, but the Sky People had touched it a lot, so it had to be important.

Thorn poked at it the way she had seen the Sky people do. The figures that came up meant little to her, but

Challenge #02039-E215: Ambassador Oozagoodoggieden

Sees human: avoids eye contact, walks away

Sees dog: coos and tried to get its attention -- TheDragonsFlame

Dog is Ambassador to Human.

Throx considered the daily quote and figured it had been a mistranslation of some truly wise words. Things didn't always meld that well with GalStand Simple and the message was lost in the translation.

"Good morning," said an automated voice. "Welcome to Way Out Station. Your sleeper pod has been transferred to the Decon Zone. Please wait and a

Challenge #02038-E214: Any One Help

Your newest story about the human gut wound had me wondering. If aliens cared for their human protectors as much as we cared for them, how would they respond to a significant threat to humanity/earth that even the humans were incapable of dealing with? After all of humanities’ civilian organized humanitarian (this word is hilarious to me here) efforts, how would aliens respond when we are in need of some major help of our own? -- Anon Guest

[AN: Inspired by

Challenge #02037-E213: Controversial Topic

Please tell us more about the “almost war” of Dog or not dog! -- Anon Guest

[AN: Callback to this post for those who don't want to crawl through my archives]

Very few Deathworlder animals are so useful and varied that they enter the Galactic scene before the cogniscents they share their homeworld with are welcomed. Even fewer are so varied that assorted cogniscent species are still attempting to define the pattern in which they fit.

Only one has a game that

Challenge #02036-E212: One Question

A new revolution was in motion and it’s progress could not be stopped.

After all, nerds are nothing if not stubborn in their pursuit of knowledge.

They were going to enlighten (pun totally intended) this oppressed world, plant the ideas and curiosity that the new power tried so hard to exterminate. They were going to return to the world the gift Aelria gave to them when she told them “look up”.

After all, nerds never die out. They just go stealth.

Challenge #02034-E210: Incident During the Building of Antagulus IV

[Words you learn to dread hearing. #3.] "It seemed like a good idea at the time." -- Knitnan

Something, somewhere, was on fire. Aarblax could see the smoke curling through the air. This was, thankfully, a facility with a generous amount of atmosphere to share, so it wasn't that worrying. Yet. The Public Address system was making bizarre, intermittent noises. This meant that someone had manually disabled the alerts and the system was attempting connections through the network. Which had also been

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A 2280-post collection

Challenge #02057-E233: In-sult-roduction

Challenge #02055-E231: Weapons of Mass Deception

Challenge #02053-E229: Bohemian Nights

Challenge #02051-E227: Death Trade

Challenge #02050-E226: Stockholm's Invisible Bars

Challenge #02047-E223: Place Your Bets

Challenge #02046-E222: Mundane Profundity

Challenge #02042-E218: Something's Happening Here

Challenge #02041-E217: Cautious Welcome

Challenge #02040-E216: Just One Thing

Challenge #02039-E215: Ambassador Oozagoodoggieden

Challenge #02038-E214: Any One Help

Challenge #02037-E213: Controversial Topic

Challenge #02036-E212: One Question

Challenge #02034-E210: Incident During the Building of Antagulus IV