Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #00360: Everything Proof Shield

When the greatest weapons and technology does nothing, it’s not always the end of the battle. Sometimes you just have to grab the nearest heavy object and go medieval on your adversary.

She had watched them glide through nukes that did not explode as they were supposed to. She saw both bazookas and bombs fail to ignite in their presence. Even guns would not fire.

The alien invasion did not kill. They didn’t need to. They simply stopped their enemy - the humans - from doing anything to hurt them.

Not even tasers would fire.

All this, she watched, as the leader of the free world moved from office, to temporary shelter, to bunker underground. And her duty was to stand around, looking pretty in her dress uniform with a stupid dress sword and, only when push came to shove, put her body in the way of anything the aliens had to throw at him.

They defeated the electro-magnetic lock in less than a second.

“Why do you ascended monkeys keep on trying?” The alien shook his head. Only now, close up, was it possible to see that their mouths were out of sync with their words. “We have the means to defeat any and all sources of ignition on your pitiful weapons. You are completely powerless against us.”

The action came before the thought.

Swords don’t have ignition sources.

But by the time that went through her head, her sword was already out, in her hand, and speeding point-first towards the threat.

It was a perfect lunge. Something taught in Presentation Drill but never expected to be used. She would hurt tomorrow; but by tomorrow, the world would have changed.

The alien looked down at the metal sticking through its chest. “How crude,” it said. “And yet, so very effective.”

And then it died.

The Secret Service folks performing the wall of bodies around their leader stared in shock and awe.

“What are you all standing there for? Go get something pointy and stick it in these bastards!”

It was the first and last war won against superior technology with swords, arrows, spears, pikes and halberds. It was definitely the last war won by trebuchet, catapult, and mangonel.

And it was the last war that aliens ever tried to bring to Earth.

She hung the sword on her wall, when she retired with honours. A reminder for herself, her children, and anyone who came to see her or it.

There is no such thing as an everything-proof shield.

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Challenge #00359: Shining, Gleaming, Silken, Flaxen, Waxen...

Here’s a good challenge - write something that involves someone finding a way to explain Wolverine’s hair.  Seriously, whether comics, cartoons, or movies, it’s always the same winged sorta puffed-out spiky thing that looks near-exactly like the sides of his costume’s mask.  Does he style it that way intentionally, does he just have the world’s worst case of Hat Hair, or what?

They had been hiking for hours. Everyone’s hair

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Let's have some fun...

McDonald’s Australia is allegedly answering ALL questions from folks with a Facebook account. Tumblr wouldn’t let me post the link, for some reason, so type in “yourquestions” dot mcdonalds dot com dot au into your browser bar.

I’ve already asked them what the fuck they put in their thick shakes to make them taste super gross when they melt.

I’ve already asked them how much “reclaimed meat” they use in

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Chalenge #00358: O...MG Tannenbaum

“How did you even get a live pine tree onto the space station?”

“Uh… the Magic of Christmas?”

It was sixteen Standard Distance Units tall. It was coated in sparkling lights, then coated again in shiny metallic fronds of tinsel, then covered in small, shiny objects, then covered in bows. And then, to top things off, whoever covered it over in all of this thought that that wasn’t enough, and started all over with the

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iliveforthefantasy: panda2296: musingsofaramblerrr: Hello? Little human? Okay I kiss you now. Fun fact: the cat is checking the baby's...

iliveforthefantasy:

panda2296:

musingsofaramblerrr:

Hello? Little human? Okay I kiss you now.

Fun fact: the cat is checking the baby’s mouth to see if it is still breathing. Were it not breathing, the cat would commence to eat it.

FUN FACT

Fun Fact: The one article I could find about a cat owner being eaten after their death also mentions a pet dog on the premises.

Fun fact: if cats were interested in eating humans, they would also lick up any spilled

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New take on an old saw.

Whoever said that when all you have is a hammer, the world starts to look like a nail was a handless idiot. They’d obviously never stood in front of a forge, never beaten on a piece of red- hot metal, because the fact is that you start with a hammer; it’s the first and most fundamental tool, the one you use to give shape and structure, to bring all the others out of the raw material and make

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amazingatheist: egalitariste: feministe-radicale-et-bisexuelle: edwardspoonhands: cassandracroft: So this is what trust looks...

amazingatheist:

egalitariste:

feministe-radicale-et-bisexuelle:

edwardspoonhands:

cassandracroft:

So this is what trust looks like.

Funny, my first thought was “So this is what the patriarchy looks like.”

Yup. This is how women are supposed to trust men. With their lives.

Woman : “Hey, can we just… Drop the bow?”
Man : “WHY DON’T YOU TRUST ME I’M NOT A VIOLENT GUY, YOU ARE INSULTING ME THINKING I WILL HURT YOU!!!”
Woman : “No it’s just… Well I’m afraid.”
Man : “But why? Look at

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Hey Internutter,I never did work out what time zone you are in, and while I'm not about to ask you to reveal your address over the internet,...

I write my instant stories (usually) in the early AM, then get done all the regular, day-to-day stuff I have to get done and then after it’s over, I do the novel work in the afternoon/night.

Christmas holidays are a lot more relaxed, writing-wise. I can write both novel and instant story whenever the mood strikes. Though I prefer to get it done relatively quickly so I have more time to goof off :)

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Challenge #00356: Average Ordinary Every-Day...

When your special talent is not having a special talent, and why it’s awesome

Storybook Slate could do a little of everything. She was the most helpful pony in Ponyville.

And yet, every morning, she would be touring the town seeking odd jobs to help with. Towing her tool cart behind her. Every day she was doing something different. Helping ponies everywhere.

Naturally, the Cute Mark Crusaders found her fascinating.

They caught her on a rare day off, when she

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xlastof: I wanted to do a thing to help my muse; Whoever reblogs this before 5AM on Christmas Eve will get an in character message from...

xlastof:

I wanted to do a thing to help my muse;

Whoever reblogs this before 5AM on Christmas Eve will get an in character message from the Doctor based on the things you reblog, your character, your mun, or just your blog in general. Anyone can reblog!

Can I get a Ho-ho-ho-hell yeah?

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1 2 3 What are we fighting for? I was just on the phone to MeMum, yesterday, about the minimum wage in the States. She was stunned that...

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What are we fighting for?

I was just on the phone to MeMum, yesterday, about the minimum wage in the States. She was stunned that folks are forced to get by on $7.50 an hour.

She was even more stunned when I told her that that’s what some folks are fighting to get.

It’s pretty bad when you have to explain to a grandmother that the richest country on Earth, filled with the most

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Challenge #00355: Designated Victim

When having no powers at all is a power all its own

The world was full of Supers. Capes. Special powers. Skin-tight costumes. Fantastic abs. And, in the case of the ladies, zero-gravity boobs and super-flexible spines.

They didn’t bother with secret identities. They all had super fortresses and leagues of allies. Some sworn to protect the ordinary citizen. Some working on their own agendas…

But most of them, to a cape, performing politics with their fists.

There were

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