InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12552 posts

Stolen from a Webcomic

Alien (thoughtfully): A whole holiday of disguise and deceit [Ed: Halloween]… truly these hu-mons are a formidable race.

*points at minionbot*

Alien: Every one of their vaunted ‘holidays’ are actually exercises in deception and warfare.

*resumes thinking position*

Alien: Christmas - a thinly veiled exercise in obfuscation and forensic cryptology. Easter - infiltration and recovery… New Years Eve… a form of globally coordinated mass ordnance deployment.

Minionbot: What about Valentine’s Day?

Alien: Ah yes, Valentine’s Day… Psychological warfare.

Minionbot: How horrible!

Alien: Could be worse… at least there’s chocolate. – RecklessPrudence

(#00364)

Zykryxx had to admit, they had made him and any surviving followers comfortable. They had made an environment for him from the biota aboard his ship. Sealed in a habitat with him and his few surviving followers. They let him and the others build things.

And, since the scant survivors were currently not talking to him, Zykryxx had made himself a companion/minion/pet for company.

Well, he had to make three of them, because the humans took the other two to see what made them go by destroying them in a systematic and analytical manner.

He also had to admit that they were very clever apes, indeed. They found his system of origin and negotiated a treaty with his people… but they hadn’t been able to convince the Krykkarax to take him or his followers back.

So they were stuck here for life. Under the human microscope. With no way to escape and nothing to do if they did.

And on the other hand, he also got to observe the humans and their bizarre, baffling habits. Even with just Minion to talk to, it was entertaining and educational.

Currently, the humans on the other side of the glass were having Halloween. The entire goal was to obfuscate identity and, apparently, drink themselves under the table or put themselves into a sugar-related food coma.

“Observe, Minion. An entire holiday of disguise and deceit. Not to mention threatening negotiation for gain… These Hu-mons are a formidable race.” Realisation dawned at that very moment. He had the common thread! “Every single one of their 'holidays’ is an exercise in deception and warfare.”

“Christmas?” said Minion. It was rather fond of Christmas.

“A thinly-veiled exercise in obfuscation and forensic cryptology.”

“Easter?” Minion’s second-favourite holiday. Zykryxx often wondered why this one was attracted to vibrant colours.

“Infiltration and recovery.”

“New Year’s?”

“Globally co-ordinated mass ordinance deployment.”

Minion buzzed and its eye-lights spun. Processing data and buffering. “What of Valentine’s Day.”

“Psychological warfare.”

“That’s horrible,” gasped Minion.

Zykryxx gently patted Minion on its head. “It’s not that bad. At least there is chocolate.”

Chocolate made all things worthy. Even being stuck in what amounted to a giant, upended fishbowl.

[Muse food remaining: 19 (fic war prompts: 0Submit a promptAsk a questionBuy my stories!]

Bayer is suing a whole continent for saving the bees?

Bayer is suing a whole continent for saving the bees?

eviltessmacher:

prince-and-friends:

Followers, friends of followers, friends of THOSE friends, sign this now!

If the bees aren't saved, our lives..ALL of our lives, for that matter, are going to take a huge turn for the worse.

Please, sign this petition. I'm begging you, followers. It only needs 400k signatures. It's so, so close to being completed.

Please, sign it. We

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[ cloud overview ][ get your own cloud ]This is a Tumblr Cloud I generated from my blog posts between Dec 2012 and Dec 2013 containing my...

[ cloud overview ]
[ get your own cloud ]

This is a Tumblr Cloud I generated from my blog posts between Dec 2012 and Dec 2013 containing my top 40 used words.

Top 5 blogs I reblogged the most:

[Because Best of Tumblr only works on picture posts and I am not a picture blog.]

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[citation needed]

“The problem with quotes on the internet, is that you can never tell if they are genuine or not.”
-Benjamin Franklin (c/- RecklessPrudence)

(#00363)

“The same thing’s been said about the Galactic Text-nets, though it was attributed to Mark Twain.”

“Really? I’d have thought they’d give it to Confucius.”

“Which one? The lizard, the bug, or the human?”

This resulted in a minute’s worth of

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freelance-adventurer: Seana and I are walking to get our badges for Comic-Con 2013 when a guy dressed like The Spine from Steam Powered...

freelance-adventurer:

Seana and I are walking to get our badges for Comic-Con 2013 when a guy dressed like The Spine from Steam Powered Giraffe walks by.

Seana (staring openly): Is that…?

Me (also staring rudely): Nooo, it’s got to be a cosplayer…

The Spine ( as he passes us with his liquid gold voice): No, it’s me.

Us: ( ゚ Д゚) (゜◇゜)

This pic reminds me of a plotbunny I’ve had rattling around in my back-brain.

Remember how Scooby Doo had

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Fun with (decidedly non-Standard) Units

2000 Mockingbirds = 2 Kilomockingbirds
Basic Unit of Laryngitis = 1 Hoarsepower
453.6 Graham Crackers = 1 Pound Cake
1 Kilogram of Falling Figs - 1 Fig Newton
Time Between Slipping on a Banana Peel and Smacking the Pavement = 1 Bananosecond
Half of a Large Intestine = 1 Semicolon – RecklessPrudence

(#00362)

“Echo!”

The space whirling with birds now filled with imitations of Shayde’s voice saying ‘echo’.

This pleased her no end. “Oh aye, they’re mockin'birds.

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2013: My roundup (FWIW)

Okay, so 2013.

  • I made a resolution that I fucking KEPT for all but one day of the year, and that one’s excusable. (Holy shit!)

  • I wrote 180 000+ words for a trilogy

  • I also wrote 160 000+ words for another book in the same amount of time

  • Which means, if I suddenly decide to quit writing my instant stories [Not bloody likely. Relax, folks!] I can write well over 300K in the space of a year

  • I’ve

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Challenge #00361: Stupid Mammals.

*irritated muttering*  "… Stupid mammals and their ability to function regardless of temperature….“

Cold.

The desire to hibernate was strong, but in this environment, the desire to hibernate could kill. This place was permanently cold. They would sleep and never wake up.

The ship’s human knew this. Given their species-inherent desire to eliminate the Other, the surprising part was how they did not use the current situation to win.

The captain watched in amazement and torpor, as

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teagator: jenniferstolzer: Nailed it. sorry for the long post. I figure it'll get lost in the swell of concert photos. Also on...

teagator:

jenniferstolzer:

Nailed it.

sorry for the long post. I figure it’ll get lost in the swell of concert photos.

Also on DA

Bringing this back because it makes me laugh every time


“Guys, Rabbit’s up a bookcase and won’t come down. Hatchworth’s on fire again. And something deep blue and disgusting is coming out of Pete VI’s lab… WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN WHEN YOU LEAVE?!”

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...

cabbyman:

hopeyou-findthatswimmingpool:

unfollovving:

assemble-the-assbutts:

fandom-pride:

2snowy4u:

imivi:

jointeamfreewill:

gipsy-bones:

unicornpancakes:

ask-the-multishipper:

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oh god what did i do

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IT SUMMONS MAIL EVERYONE TRY IT


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HOLY FUCKING COW.


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OKAY IT’S TRUE

imageWHAT

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???

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I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE

WHAT HOW

This doesn’t work

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I stand corrected oh dear lord

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Um guys

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shit

I have to see this for myself.

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ha

Every ask will result in either an answer or a story. Answers will happen immediately. Stories happen at the rate of one

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