InterNutter

Indie writer seeks audience with an audience. Paying customers welcome. [pronouns: ze/hir] Daily free stories happen because it is an excellent counter to Writers' Block.

Burpengary East http://www.cmweller.com 12611 posts

What has two thumbs and a copy of Steamworld Heist?

::Points both thumbs at self::

Yup. Me!

I got Beloved to help me tweak my 3DS's internet settings. Then I immediately purchased the game I've been waiting for ever since Steam Powered Giraffe and Image and Form games announced the collab they were working on.

...and then I spent a majority of my morning lying in bed and enjoying the heck out of it.

The music is fantastic (of course). The gameplay mechanic takes all the annoying things about shooter games out of this shooter game. [I'm no twitch gamer, and most combat games require twitch gaming to live] You can take your time and line up the perfect shot.

And you can collect all kinds of hat by conquest.

AND it's a 2-D sidescroller jump-and-die with 3D capabilities. I love the old puzzle/shooter/platformers so this takes me all the way back to my Commander Keen days. And now I feel really old.

It's a very addictive game. I delayed going for my walk for five hours just by thinking, "One more campaign". Heheh.

But it's a procrastinate-y kind of day.

I mean, I just had breakfast at lunchtime.

And as soon as I'm finally done with today's story, I am going to vanish into the realms of steambots versus dieselbots and gunslinging to the gentle melodies of Steam Powered Giraffe.

It's going to cost me $17 to get the album [so very much want] more if I buy a physical copy[even though it's $10 minimum at the band's store, postage and handling bite deep], plus the pain and anguish of waiting for it to arrive. Plus side of buying me a physical copy and letting me know - there may be another story happening as I lie in wait to pounce on the postal worker.

Any and all help towards making me the happiest little steam nerd are greatly appreciated.

Challenge #01051-B319: One Entertaining Evening in the Local Theatre

This video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvJZVq5_cGs I've never seen something like that executed so well in real life. -- Gallifreya

[AN: for those of you who don't want to watch, the prank involves sets of twins doing a Scooby-Doo farcical door chase scene]

Seeing it done with editing was one thing. Seeing it done live was another. Watching what seemed to be the same person enter one door and immediately exit another, on stage... it boggled the mind.

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Contemplating fixes

I've been working on an SPG lorefic for... well... quite some time. Ever since I posted that free plotbunny a while ago. It's getting immense. As fanfic is wont to do.

It's so immense that when I try to export it to my inbox, it cuts off just as Iris is trying to coax Peter into eating human food. (tiny spoilers)

I'm way past that bit. Way, way, WAY past that bit. I haven't done a word count, yet, but I'm fairly

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Challenge #01050-B318: Fidelity

You can break my soul.

Shatter my mind.

Take my life away.

Beat me, hurt me, kill me.

But for the love of God

And for the sake of your own lives

Don't you

DARE

Touch her. -- Anon Guest

The human was already half-mad, even by human standards, when Kri'ko met her. She called herself Dog. Mutt on the bad days. Whenever she was awake, Dog would chatter to herself. A constant diatribe of ideas and denials.

They threw Kri'ko in

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Achievement Unlocked!

I made it all the way around the walk without needing my puffer this morning!

Alas, however I carry my brolly, it's going to hurt my wrist. Carrying it under my elbow actually hurts more because I have to wrap my arm around it for stability. I may have to make that scabbard, after all.

I'll look very silly, but at least my joints won't ache.

It's humid, this morning, and I'm feeling the heat. Air conditioning would be marvellous, but I

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Challenge #01049-B317: Ashes to Ash...

http://outfromtheinkwell.tumblr.com/post/133600270753/latessitrice-absinthenoir

The woes of an Italian vampire -- Gallifreya

[AN: Trying to write this without sounding racist]

I didn't know what I'd become when I stumbled home to Mama. I could remember an attack. I remember that the early dawn light burned my skin. I remember... being ill. Not being able to take in Mama's cooking. Being so thirsty. And always tired during the day.

Mama did what she could. She kept the sun away from

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Lovely dawn, this morning

I woke up before it happened, so I got to see most of it.

Chaos' appointment went well enough. Regular appointments on a yearly basis with reports from other experts seem to be the order of the day. Finding said experts to suit my budget [$0] is going to involve a lot of running about.

Occupational therapy, speech therapy, psychiatry... I'm willing to bet that none of those are exactly cheap. Even with health benefits and whatnot.

So many 'Igottas'... I gotta

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Challenge #01048-B316: Afoot in the Grove

Pick one or more items from this list - it just sounded so much like the sort of things you'd think up that I HAD to share... http://howlingguardian.tumblr.com/post/133493640614/
(post reproduced below in case of link failure)

Talk fantasy prosthetics to me.

An elf maiden dances on feet of living wood sung into shape, planted in soil and watered when she takes them off. Every year she plants the old ones and sings a new pair. (Incidentally, the

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An ounce of prevention...

Weighs heavily on my wrists, unfortunately. The good old Bunnings Brolly is many things. Hardy, durable, reliable, engineered to last in high wind conditions, it opens with one button, it isn't a struggle to shut...

But it isn't exactly the lightest of things to tote around.

If you ever want a bargain brolly that's going to last you, get the big golf umbrellas at Bunnings. They only cost $10 and they look they'll last a lifetime. The place makes their money back

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Challenge #01047-B315: Economy Exorcism

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/133438233764/breelandwalker-witchbxi-spirit-haunts-a -- Gallifreya

They looked like the typical whitebread couple who scoffed at the warnings that their new home was haunted until things got beyond the line of wilful ignorance. Candace listened to their story, and it ran the entire gamut of that sad story.

They fell in love with the place. Didn't believe in the supernatural. Laughed at the thought of ghosts. Little incidents escalated. And they escalated quickly. And the next thing they knew,

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I learned some things, today

Well, technically in the last 24 hours since I last blogged. In no particular order...

  • An ounce of prevention is worth squid-all nothing if you don't have it with you
  • Plovers can defend their territory in family flocks
  • If you move while they're backing up for another run, you're out of the area much quicker
  • Asthma is a harsh master
  • We don't have enough cellophane to wrap all nine gift baskets
  • When getting bottles from a dollar shop, always buy a spare
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Challenge #01046-B314: "Surprise" Party

Nanny Ogg throws Granny Weatherwax a surprise 70th birthday party at the Lancre pub. -- Anon Guest

Birthdays are generally a special occasion. Witch's birthdays doubly so. Not many of them prefer to make their age known, lest the C-word inevitably slip from someone's mouth.

Gytha had done her best. She'd set up in a place where Esme Weatherwax never went if she could prevent it. The local pub. She'd laid on every treat she could, including the mandatory ham bun; because,

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Slow Progress

I took the precaution of packing a parasol on my morning walk. Alas, the plovers who perplexed me previously were not present to persist in piercing my pate. Ah well. Better to look a fool than be one.

So far, I have washed all the bottles [one of the larger jars did not make it through the journey home and I must then nip out and snag a replacement]. I have all my stuff lined up and I have a surprisingly large

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Challenge #01045-B313: Inexplicable In-Jokes

Did we ever figure out why you can't stop laughing whenever I say the word "pineapple"? -- Gallifreya

Giggles filled the break room. Of course they did. The inherently funny word had been uttered. They managed to stop.

"I dunno, to be honest. It's just a ridiculous fruit. The entire rest of the world calls them Ananas. They're nothing like an apple. They never came from a pine tree[1]. I mean - English language, what the ever-loving flip?"

"Maybe it sounded

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Good morning, territorial flying saurians!

As you know if you read my personal blither, I've taken up walking around the block for my daily fitness regime. In the pre-dawn twilight, it's generally peaceful and nothing much is going on.

Not this morning.

This morning, a lovely pair of nesting murder-birds [aka "plovers" aka Masked Lapwings] decided that my morning walk was personally offensive and invasion of their privacy.

Now, plovers will warn you with their signature 'back off' call of sharp, harsh shrieks [spelled "kee kee kee"

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