We're finally doing our tax nonsense so we can fill out the paperwork so Mayhem can get the help he needs to get a job and finally pay for things. [That lay in the house that Jack built] Puffpuff... Pantpant... I'm making sure I have my financial statements prepped. I don't believe anything's been overlooked.
I got up early, so that's two more pages in the journal transcribed. For my next trick, I shall post my wordpress nonsense before the alarm goes off and I have to herd various smaller creatures into a semblance of organisation. Best to get on with that now...
[short pause for copy/pasta]
Done! Let's look at the news real quick:
- Investigators in Wuhan found no links to bats or a lab, destroying two theorem at once. It could have started in a mink or a cat, apparently
- Prosecution for the Great Impeachment have video evidence of the Muppet riling up the crowd
- 100YO veteran tried for 3.5K murders at a Nazi death camp
- WHO warns against eating frozen food
- Urgent call to isolate in Victoria. Again
- Scammer tried to blackmail parents of dying baby - winds up in court. There is some justice in the world
- Another Karen turns up after a literal year of this bullshit to rave at a bus driver over masks
- Plague detected in Gold Coast sewerage
- Yet another USA teacher has made yet another sex tape with yet another underaged student. Allegedly
- White House press secretary not taking any bullshit from Fox News
- Baby shower stunt involving a fucking CANNON kills a guest. Maybe don't use weaponry for your gender reveals, Karen
- Pet-friendly property in high demand
- Little girl has Uncombable Hair Syndrome, causes concern among other parents
- Bunnings shoppers are building "frog hotels" aaawww...
- ScoMo hints at a new travel bubble
- Calls for a cat curfew on the rise. Just... build a firkin catio. Geez
- Someone wants to buy Epstein's "pedo island" eeeeeuuuuwww...
There's a bit of a time window. How much story can I write before everything gets clustered again? Let's see.