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Unlikely Heroes

A 172-post collection

Challenge #02147-E318: Disturbing My Rest? Again?

"Why am I always either the meat shield or the distraction ?"

"Because you are the only one here that's immortal. And you got your regeneration thing."

"I may be immortal, but it doesn't change the fact that those pikes friggin hurt.... And it ruin my vest." -- Anon Guest

Never let anyone tell you that immortality is a blessing. Anyone with a lick of sense knows that it is a curse. It's even worse if you're immortal and an adventurer. Never mind how it happened, that has been lost to history. I could look it up in my library of diaries, but those chronicles are... disheartening.

Memory is limited. Love has expiry dates, even between immortals. Passion can thrill, but it can get monotonous. Every drug in existence isn't the thrill ride you may expect. After a couple of centuries, all you want to do is retire into a crypt and sleep until the end of the world. Worst of all are the adventurers who seek to use an immortal as - well - the irresistible force against the immovable object.

This small crowd were no different. They had bypassed all the safeguards on my crypt-fortress by sneaking in through a wall that used to be under a landslide. Evidently, the land slid away at some point. Thiranel the Eternal glared at them. They were almost a joke of a cohort. An Elf, a Human, and Kobold walk into a tomb... Thiranel decided to skip the usual cliches and go straight to the meat of it. "Let me guess. A great peril endangers this world, and you have been sent to recruit my services for the ultimate battle."

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Challenge #02144-E315: Terrifying Obstacles

(Person 1) (Quietly): So now we have to somehow get across this long metal hallway without making any noise. How are we gonna do this?

(Person 2): Pulls out (very long) rolled-up carpet from their backpack -- TheDragonsFlame

Marvin looked down at Lady Anthe and the carpet that was still unfurling down the metal hallway. "Really?" he whispered. "Are you prepared for everything?"

"I like to be," she whispered, grinning as the final tassels landed with a soft 'thwup'. It didn't set

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Challenge #02138-E309: Plot Thwart

"In my defense I'm not used to people listening when I speak." -- OohLookShiny

"In our defense," said Wraithvine, "you were the first of us to come up with a workable plan."

"Wasn't that workable," sighed Marvin. "We failed."

Lady Anthe, also chained to the wall of the dungeon, was smiling. Always be wary when a Kobold is smiling. "I wouldn't say that. We got into the castle. Objective one went without a hitch."

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Challenge #02108-E285: Failed Medicine Check

"What happened?"

"The kobold was thirsty and drank some brandy by accident." -- Anon Guest

On the plus side, the enemy was getting a routing it never suspected from a foe they couldn't even focus on. On the minus side, this had to be doing something awful for Chrysanthemum's bodily systems. Dragonkin had different biology to mammalian lifeforms. A drop of alcohol might dull a human's senses, but to one of reptillian descent... It was like a plus three Potion of Haste.

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Challenge #02076-E252: Omniphobia

"You said it wouldn't be scary this time!"

"Technically I said it wouldn't be a monster. "

"It's a dragon!"

"I stand by my statement!" -- OohLookShiny

[AN: This is before they meet and rescue Marvin in Dirt's Worth]

Wraithvine mentally ticked 'dragon' off the list of beasts that ze could make hir phantom steed appear to be like. The problem was that Kobolds like the freshly-renamed Chrysanthemum were renowned for their craven cowardice and apparently terrified of every possible mount they could

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Challenge #02054-E230: Dirt's Worth

"Look I'm okay with you scapegoating this onto me-"

"What? Why!"

"But next time warn me first. Do you know how hard it is to turn a weak lie into a strong one with no background info?" -- OohLookShiny

"Okay," Marvin allowed. "But... I still need to know why. Most people react to being pushed under the omnibus with vengeance."

Lady Anthe sat on the table so she could level a glare at the Human Fighter. "I'm a Kobold. The first name

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Challenge #01867-E043: Got'cha

[Person 1] “It’s no use! We’ll never make it in time!”

[Person 2] “Scoot over. I didn’t have my driving license revoked for nothing!” -- TheDragonsFlame

So. Let's recap. They were in what only appeared to be a Tuktuk, stuck in traffic, desperate to make it to the big public exposé to expose more than the badguy could ever want made public, and without much of a hope. Except the one that Els was uncannily good with machines and

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