Submission

A 900-post collection

Challenge #00800-B069: Back Off, We're Celebrating!

“Light blue touch paper! Run like Hell!”

It looked like a cylinder with a cone at one end and a stick at the other. The purpose of the string at the stick end was just as mysterious as the cone. It was painted in toxic stripes, therefore it was dangerous.

“What is this?” said T’reka.

Humans use it to celebrate,” said Susan. “They’re rockets designed to explode. For art.”

Nobody on Amity could side-eye like a Numidid. T’reka gave her a classic one. “Making rockets explode is an accident, not an art.”

We use them to paint the night sky in coloured light,” Susan re-explained. She was well used to this after decades of working with T’reka. “They explode on purpose to do this.”

“Loud noises and sudden lights. Of course this is a human entertainment. I think I know the answer, but I must ask. What are you celebrating with these?”

“Uh… the fact that we can make fireworks now…?”

Called it,” T’reka muttered in her own tongue. “Have you set out a warning for the Numidid population?”

Sort of? We called it an invitation, but we did say there’d be loud noises and flashing lights. And screaming humans.”

“Many will observe from a safe distance.” She peered at the smudged label on the tube. “What are these words?”

Light blue touch paper. Run like hell.”

“How very human,” T’reka snarked.

[Muse food remaining: 14. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Challenge #00799-B068: What, When You Own The World?

The domino effect, as applied to takeovers, and what happens when the last one falls.

This was it. The pinnacle of success. Fortune Incorporated had made its last takeover. With this signing, with this handshake, with this cluster of flashes dazzling his eye… Fortune Inc owned every business in the world… and since he owned Fortune Inc, he owned the world.

For the entire press conference, the glamorous soiree, it was all he could do to maintain a restrained and

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Challenge #00798-B067: A Solid What?

That most interesting of currencies, The Favour.

“It is not worth my Time, patience and anguish to even go near that piece of retro insanity you call a personal vehicle.”

Shayde thought she was upping the ante when she said, “I’ll owe ye a solid…”

He glared at her. “A solid what?”

“A solid favour. It’s a thing. Like ye need me tae do som'att ye don’t want

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Challenge #00797-B066: The Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Really Bad Idea

“This year’s human sacrifice features something very special- actual humans!”

“What were they sacrificing before?” murmured Edilade “Soy humans?”

“Best not to ask,” whispered Janet. “You have any of those smoke bombs I told you to dispose of?”

“Of course not.”

“Well, gimme some of those smoke bombs you don’t have.” Janet had already escaped the natives’ shackles. They all had. Being a scavenger

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Challenge #00796-B065: These Humans Are Crazy

An aliens reaction to the punch buggy game

“Punch buggy white!”

“Hey! One, that is clearly blue, and two - we’re in a freaking car museum. Knock it off.”

“Where’s your sense of humour?”

Janice gritted her teeth. “We’re in front of ambassadors,” she grated. “You’re embarrassing your entire species.”

Meanwhile, Ambassador Vrex was taking notes. Humans are instinctually violent. Even their games and

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Challenge #00795-B064: Come to Scenic Gravity Falls

 Mabel Pines and Francouer.
(if you don’t watch Gravity Falls a. Do it and b. this is now a free prompt day)

[AN: I do watch, I’m just not into the decoding stuff because I’m daft. I let everyone else do that.]

“I’ll show you all! I’ll summon a monster from ages past to destroy you all! Destroy you all! Destroy you all! Destroy you all!”

“Uh…” said Dipper. “Was it necessary

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Challenge #00794-B063: The Arboretum of Death

Bunya Pines. That is all.

[AN: SO very tempted to add a distant relative to Gravity Falls…]

People came from all over to see the deadly plants. They did not come to experience personal encounters with them. Just to see, and goggle in amazement that they existed at all.

Of course, it was no shock to many that the majority of these deadly plants came from Earth

Most of the protected walkways were surrounded on all sides by the best of

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Challenge #00793-B062: One Puzzling Afternoon in the Ambassador's Lounge

http://eighthdoctor.tumblr.com/post/104127747867/okay-but-i-spent-the-afternoon-reading-about-venus

“Wait. Wait. I need to understand this.”

Shayde sighed. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to explain it in depth. “Go on.”

“Your people took seven goes to find a planet.”

“Yeh, the thing aboot space is… it’s big. There’s loads o’ stuff in it ye ken…”

“It was your intra-stellar neighbour on an

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Challenge #00792-B061: One Smoke-Filled Evening in a Dimly-Lit Room

Vetenari being a tidy soul, would have made certain that the mess he’d tidied up Stayed tidy.

Republican Secret Congress, the not-too-distant future…

“Okay, so the Thin Man is gone, and so is President Gunther. The question now is, how do we reverse the damage to America?”

“We can’t use the old arguments,” said one of the shadowy figures. “The Thin Man gave them dang Liberals all the ammo they’ll ever

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Challenge #00791-B060: One Fine Afternoon Constitutional

Image prompt!
The story of two birds, Numidids optional.

[AN: Image shows two long-necked birds(possibly egrets) facing each other on opposite sides of what looks to be a canal. One bird is white, the other is grey. I also have no idea why the image won’t get quoted any more. Another stuff-up from staff?]

This is Earth. It now prides itself on the strange, the bizarre, and the unusual. Its citizens, for a modest fee, will gleefully exhibit some

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Challenge #00788-90 - B057-59: The Human Answer

“What the Heck are they doing?”
“They’re having Fun.”
This is a line from a Very old Movie called The Boatnicks„ See what you can do with it, not necessarily to do with boats, could be anything us humans think of as fun.
2. .  Jam, treacle, puffed rice. Who would have thought it could be used as a weapon.
3. “Once you open a can of worms, it takes two cans to get them back.” have fun.
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Still in South Park

Kurt and Todd, still in South Park. The “184th” line has pretty much become their soundtrack. Todd is rolling with the weirdness, but Kurt is nearing a breakdown (shot at by Jimbo and Ned, witnessing Kenny die multiple times, constantly stalked by geneticist Dr, Mephisto). They’re walking down the street discussing this, when they see Jesus and Satan at a cafe having coffee. Cue freak-out.

(#00787 - B056)

“…so hungry…”

“Yo, hungry’s your default

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Challenge #00784 - B053: Water Worship

The first thing the humans of Amity made when they reached the beach was the pipeline. The second thing they made was surfboards.

From the Journals of T'reka the Inquisitive:

Play is seemingly an important to these dangerous creatures as work is. I have personally witnessed their emergence onto the beachfront with a mixture of trepidation and fascination.

Their work was to build the pipeline previously mentioned. Their play… immediately followed. Some brought colourful discs with them for what I posit

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Challenge #00783 - B052: No Cause for Alarm...

When someone who’s covered with blood and carrying a knife asks me politely, I’ll usually say “yes”

[TW: Blood, murder, implied abuse.]

I found her on the highway. She was wearing what had once been a pink, teddy-bear nightie, but was now a rich, blood red and soaking wet. Poor kid looked like she’d bathed in blood. And the big kitchen knife clutched in her white-knuckled hands didn’t do much to help the image.

She was

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Challenge #00782 - B051: Quirks of Psychology

Someone who worked for Norix and was a Whisperer, at the end of the Standard Year, who really needs that job.
They’re a Queen fan and don’t know why they’re a Whisperer.

“Please… please don’t let me go. I can change the song. I’ve been working on it. I have. I love Under Pressure. I just… don’t… understand… why I keep singing Ice Ice Baby.”

Nor looked

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