Myths Illogical

Challenge #01354-C259: One Cheesy Dragon

This post, which lead to this art. Fic away! -- RecklessPrudence

Tara McCreedy looked down at the living sample. It stretched all six of its limbs and allowed its peculiar wings to flutter. "Okay," she allowed. "I can see what it is, I just want to know why."

"Er. This is more of a sketch," the lead scientist of this lab wouldn't meet anyone's eyes. "See, I thought it might be cool to have dragon cheese from real dragons, um... so I started with a monotreme? Because they're neither lizards nor mammals, but they give milk? Um. In succeeding generations, I'll -uh- make it look more like a dragon... and make it milk-able."

The creature dove into the water. Its wings gave it better speed and control underwater, but would not lift it an inch into the air.

"And what finishing mass did you have in mind?"

"Oh, somewhere between a pig and a cow? But -um- I can't stop making the males venomous? And there's venom in the wing claws as well? Is that going to be a problem?"

"Doctor Wells," Tara sighed, "this entire project is going to be a problem."

"Uh... but... dragon cheese?"

"It's cheese with mustard seeds in it," grated Tara. "We don't need real dragons to make dragon cheese."

Wells seemed to ponder this. "Can I keep my sketch? I've named it Kevin."

(Muse food remaining: 16. Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories! Or comment below!)

Challenge #01350-C255: The Tale of Sir George (No, the Other One)

Who says a young dragonling can't grow up to be a wonderful knight? -- OohLookShiny

All things begin small, but for some, small is relative. For the hero George, it began with an egg the size of a shorn sheep, and a merciful hero turned blacksmith who honoured a monster's dying wish.

I cannot change, the beast had said. My baby is not hatched. Raise them... to... be good.

Sir Menkhol had obeyed. He took the egg to his home and forge

Challenge #01347-C252: Could They Pick a Worse Team?

I am a ____ agent, I have a voice synthesiser in my throat. I can do any accent you can think of! Unfortunately I've lost the instructions at the moment... And my voice box is stuck on shop demonstration. -- Anon Guest

"Héllo, Madarm. I am hére to see your studént Camila Rodriguéz."

The school secretary looked at the badge, and the agent, and grew a very concerned look.

"Yés. I am a PINATA agént, I have a voice

Challenge #01341-C246: Riders of the Apocollapse

The four Horsepersons of the Apocollapse(Not a typo), ride fourth and get in each other's way. -- Knitnan

[AN: It's officially 'apocollapse' now. It's a word that's long needed to happen]

"And now... we... um..." said Absentmindedness. "Wossname. Thing. It was on the tip of my tongue..."

"Ride?" suggested Mislaying.

"YEEHAW," Distraction gunned hir engine and raced off in the first direction that appealed to hir.

Two of the remaining three started their bikes.

"Shit," said Mislaying. "I lost my keys,

Challenge #01340-C245: The Coming Apocollapse

Want to see more of your Minor Horsepersons of the Apocollapse (No that isn't a typo). Namely Absentmindedness, Clumsiness, Distraction, and Mislaying ride out. -- Anon Guest.

[AN: Had to flip some letters around to make a word make sense]

"I know I had it, I had it just five seconds ago..." murmured Mislaying

"HEY GUYS," yelled Distraction, "IT'S A BUTTERFLY AND IT'S REALLY COOL!"

"...whoops..." Something important shattered into a million pieces. Clumsiness blushed. "...um... fuck... shit... gotta get another one.

Challenge #01329-C234: Not-Bear

I'm not saying it's bears, but it's bears. (Details) -- RecklessPrudence

"And in other news, Australian zoologists have managed to capture the fabled Yowie. Down by the little outback town of Canyapassabeermate[1], a local dingo trapper found more than he bargained for in one of his cage traps."

They cut to the live feed where the only person wearing corks on their hat was the American newscaster.

"G'day from down under," she cheered, blatantly ignoring the winces of contact embarrassment from

Challenge #01328-C233: Pax Multilingual

Ghosts and the word 'boo'. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

"What the hell did you say to that demon, Demon?"

"Shayde," said the demon. "And she was'nae a demon, she was Seeliegh. A Fae."

"You speak gibberish, demon," said Sir Ethil. "More so than usual. Everyone knows that fairies are small and have butterfly wings. That monster looked more like an insect trying to appear human."

Behind Sir Ethil, Tragyk the Mage snorted. He had a lot of trouble with pollen, every time

Challenge #01306-C211: One Wrong Word

"In my defense, I didn't know calling the Prince a 'dummy' would be considered an act of treason." -- OohLookShiny

In a sense, her defense was a compliment. The artisans responsible for the Prince's artificial body had done such work that the simulacrum holding his soul to the mortal realm looked amazingly lifelike.

She hadn't known that he was a human soul residing in a constructed body. And they were so rare, so expensive, that they were a last resort against worse

Challenge #01303-C208: Legendary Loser

The strongest man in the world attempts to find and swat a mosquito -- Gallifreya

[AN: I saw that GIF set, but I've yet to get my hands on a copy of One Punch Man alas alack]

Of the mighty deeds of Heracles, there is but one that is not re-told by the bards or poets.

Heracles, mighty son of Zeus, stronger than ten strong mortal men... lost just one battle. Mighty were his biceps, thick were his thews, but they were

Challenge #01277-C182: One Survivor

How much Buffy Speak can you get in one story? -- Gallifreya

Kay so like, me and the scooby gang were in napville over our one-starbucks town. It should'a been like a major stress drain to take the van and head for otherwhere, you know?

We didn't plan. Just cram the van with munchies and drinkables and pick a street and split down 'till we got somewhere dollsome or otherwise chill, y'know? Have an adventure.

Wish that genie would book.

Not that

Challenge #01274-C179: Stay for the Night

http://sinnamon-skull.tumblr.com/post/146342604376/tharook-thefingerfuckingfemalefury

Mundane not-goth modern vampire and her gf -- Gallifreya

Local vampire seeks roommate. Must be clean, non smoker, and be able to pay half the rent. No weirdoes.

Claire read the personal again and blinked to make certain that she hadn't read it wrong. Must be one of the weirder goths who drank blood or did the whole 'children of the night' routine. Claire didn't mind goths. It was almost obligatory because she was one.

Challenge #01262-C167: Going With the Flow

"Such unfortunate words you use for the Old Magics... 'beyond your control'. Why do humans seek to control everything? It seems to me that unless humans are able to give something purpose, use or station, it has no value to you. It is troubling in a way."

"You find humanity wicked, do you?"

"No. I find humanity to be very young, and as any youngling, they are both brave and foolish, fearless yet unknowing. Which is why when I hear you say

Challenge #01261-C166: Saving Mothman

http://scienceisadesiretoknow.tumblr.com/post/144675700926

"The woman soaked several lengths of rope in a solution of red wine and sugar. She strung the wine ropes from the trees in her garden and then, around midnight, she came to check on her unusual trap. Sure enough, Mothman was swinging gleefully from the wine ropes, drunk and squealing with joy." -- Anon Guest

Amberlaize Jones now owns and takes care of a colony of fifty 'mothmen', a former cryptid now known as the

Challenge #01256-C161: Blood in the Boards

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OV3xp5ZXSYA

Opera vampire

He tries very hard to be a baritone but he's a a countertenor (or possibly a contralto) -- Gallifreya

[AN: This is the guy referred to on the internet as "Gay Opera Dracula"]

Some appetites can not be ignored. Some can be... restrained. I learned that when a Master of Voices turned my best friend into a Castrati. That was a very, very long time ago.

I was turned into something else, myself.

Challenge #01254-C159: Sworn to Love

Princess Marries Dragon to Knight -- Gallifreya

"Why, beast? Why must you plague my every waking day with your invasions to my fair land."

The dragon rumbled and stopped what it was doing with boulders. It seemed to... sag. "I'm... a plague?"

"Of course you're a plague! You burn the lands, you foul the water, and you steal the cattle of the hardworking peasants."

"Um," said the Princess Carillion. "That would be the warlords neighbours? I haven't observed this dragon doing very

Menu

A 182-post collection

Challenge #01354-C259: One Cheesy Dragon

Challenge #01350-C255: The Tale of Sir George (No, the Other One)

Challenge #01347-C252: Could They Pick a Worse Team?

Challenge #01341-C246: Riders of the Apocollapse

Challenge #01340-C245: The Coming Apocollapse

Challenge #01329-C234: Not-Bear

Challenge #01328-C233: Pax Multilingual

Challenge #01306-C211: One Wrong Word

Challenge #01303-C208: Legendary Loser

Challenge #01277-C182: One Survivor

Challenge #01274-C179: Stay for the Night

Challenge #01262-C167: Going With the Flow

Challenge #01261-C166: Saving Mothman

Challenge #01256-C161: Blood in the Boards

Challenge #01254-C159: Sworn to Love