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Myths Illogical

A 190-post collection

Challenge #01386-C291: Anti-serendipity

"What happened to the scarf of invulnerability?"

"Uh... my cat ate it." -- OohLookShiny

The cat in question growled from its position under the ottoman. Yellow eyes glowed out from the shadows.

"The good news," said Ki'van, "is that the scarf itself is invulnerable. We... um... just have to wait a bit."

Now the growling from under the ottoman took on a slightly musical quality. So... the cat wasn't just pissed at him.

"I know she'll try to take my arm off if I try to feed her, but I need that invulnerability, Ki'van."

"Um..." Ki'van twisted herself sideways so she could look at her cat. "About that..."

*

Ki'van had to be a good magician, because she had managed to convince Twinkle, the homicidal cat, that he, Mouchon the Magnificent, was one of her equally homicidal kittens and needed Twinkle close and nurturing.

It worked, in that the invincibility spread by contact to protect Mouchon from most of the harm.

And it would have been great, if it wasn't for the constant sandpaper licking. He could barely hear any taunts over her purring.

If all else fails, vowed Mouchon, I'm going to throw the cat at them.

That day went down in history as the strangest wizard duel that had been fought to date. And Mouchon would spend the rest of his life explaining it.

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Challenge #01380-C285: Not a Joke

And so the Princess kissed the frog, and the Prince laughed because, How did she fall for that!?! -- OohLookShiny

The Princess Orinoco glared at the Prince as he laughed so hard that he fell out of the tree he'd been hiding in.

The frog in her hands said, "He promised he'd release my family... Please forgive me."

Princess Orinoco carefully put the frog down by the pond, drew her knife, and marched over to the laughing Prince. His laughter cut short

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Challenge #01378-C283: Heavenly Host

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/151095300715/deliverusfromsburb-gods-falling-in-love-with The god that adopts a ton of kids

1) In the beginning. Stupid mistakes, awkward moments, working out what to do and what to tell the kid

2) Later. There's a horde of them, some of them have grown up and left but there's always more that need help. -- Anon Guest

[AN: this puts the gap count down to TWO]

1)

Hestatus, God of home and hearth, used to be a minor god. And

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Challenge #01371-C276: One Small Difference

Dragon: Tries to kidnap a princess

Dragon: Accidentally saves a Prince from a tower

Dragon: Isn't sure what happened -- OohLookShiny

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a young Dragon in possession of a good lair, must be in want of a Princess. So it was for Ginrauth, who had not only terrorised the local Dwarfs into submitting 'donations' to his hoard, but had also found an abundance of shiny gemstones within the cavern he dug. He knew all there was

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Challenge #01369-C274: The Strongest of All

Based on one post in yesterday's prompt, Humans in a fantasy realm as Team Fuck It Hold My Beer I Got This. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Elves can see as far as an eagle, and shoot the eyes out of a fly, if it suited their fancy. Humans invented telescopes, and microscopes, and crossbows, and cannons. And the Elves thought themselves lucky that the humans turned all that deadly enginuity towards each other, and not towards other species.

Dwarves are as tough

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Challenge #01366-C271: Mahal's Warrior

Dwarves and Gender Politics. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

En had rather hoped to be over with this adventure by now. Certainly, the Grand City of Ghil had a need, but En was on his own timetable. Adventuring during the first trimester was generally dismissed as plausible but dangerous. And En hadn't even known he was pregnant when the Admaster of Ghil had sent him and his party on this quest.

Transgender adventuring came with a unique set of risks. And since this

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Challenge #01364-C269: Here There Be Werewolves

Tidally-locked Lycanthropy Planet. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Rough seas, of course. Rounding the Cape to the trade winds inevitably involved rough seas. It took a good captain to deal with just that. But of course, things had to be trickier. Sailing the Cape had to be done in full daylight or not at all, because the Moon shone her full face on the southern hemisphere. Which left those dangerous lands populated entirely by werewolves.

And even with all these precautions, there was

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Challenge #01356-C261: You Need More Tests

Diagnostician in a world similar to our own, but with one major difference. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: I'm pretty sure I did one of this prompt for Undertale once upon a time... Gotta shake things up this time.]

Headline news had once been Magic Is Real!. But that was a long time ago. Cryptids, monsters, and assorted paradimensional beings came out of the woodwork. And humanity did what it did best - it bred with them. Which lead to some... interesting medical revelations.

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Challenge #01354-C259: One Cheesy Dragon

This post, which lead to this art. Fic away! -- RecklessPrudence

Tara McCreedy looked down at the living sample. It stretched all six of its limbs and allowed its peculiar wings to flutter. "Okay," she allowed. "I can see what it is, I just want to know why."

"Er. This is more of a sketch," the lead scientist of this lab wouldn't meet anyone's eyes. "See, I thought it might be cool to have dragon cheese from real dragons, um... so I

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Challenge #01350-C255: The Tale of Sir George (No, the Other One)

Who says a young dragonling can't grow up to be a wonderful knight? -- OohLookShiny

All things begin small, but for some, small is relative. For the hero George, it began with an egg the size of a shorn sheep, and a merciful hero turned blacksmith who honoured a monster's dying wish.

I cannot change, the beast had said. My baby is not hatched. Raise them... to... be good.

Sir Menkhol had obeyed. He took the egg to his home and forge

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Challenge #01347-C252: Could They Pick a Worse Team?

I am a ____ agent, I have a voice synthesiser in my throat. I can do any accent you can think of! Unfortunately I've lost the instructions at the moment... And my voice box is stuck on shop demonstration. -- Anon Guest

"Héllo, Madarm. I am hére to see your studént Camila Rodriguéz."

The school secretary looked at the badge, and the agent, and grew a very concerned look.

"Yés. I am a PINATA agént, I have a voice

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Challenge #01341-C246: Riders of the Apocollapse

The four Horsepersons of the Apocollapse(Not a typo), ride fourth and get in each other's way. -- Knitnan

[AN: It's officially 'apocollapse' now. It's a word that's long needed to happen]

"And now... we... um..." said Absentmindedness. "Wossname. Thing. It was on the tip of my tongue..."

"Ride?" suggested Mislaying.

"YEEHAW," Distraction gunned hir engine and raced off in the first direction that appealed to hir.

Two of the remaining three started their bikes.

"Shit," said Mislaying. "I lost my keys,

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Challenge #01340-C245: The Coming Apocollapse

Want to see more of your Minor Horsepersons of the Apocollapse (No that isn't a typo). Namely Absentmindedness, Clumsiness, Distraction, and Mislaying ride out. -- Anon Guest.

[AN: Had to flip some letters around to make a word make sense]

"I know I had it, I had it just five seconds ago..." murmured Mislaying

"HEY GUYS," yelled Distraction, "IT'S A BUTTERFLY AND IT'S REALLY COOL!"

"...whoops..." Something important shattered into a million pieces. Clumsiness blushed. "...um... fuck... shit... gotta get another one.

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Challenge #01329-C234: Not-Bear

I'm not saying it's bears, but it's bears. (Details) -- RecklessPrudence

"And in other news, Australian zoologists have managed to capture the fabled Yowie. Down by the little outback town of Canyapassabeermate[1], a local dingo trapper found more than he bargained for in one of his cage traps."

They cut to the live feed where the only person wearing corks on their hat was the American newscaster.

"G'day from down under," she cheered, blatantly ignoring the winces of contact embarrassment from

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Challenge #01328-C233: Pax Multilingual

Ghosts and the word 'boo'. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

"What the hell did you say to that demon, Demon?"

"Shayde," said the demon. "And she was'nae a demon, she was Seeliegh. A Fae."

"You speak gibberish, demon," said Sir Ethil. "More so than usual. Everyone knows that fairies are small and have butterfly wings. That monster looked more like an insect trying to appear human."

Behind Sir Ethil, Tragyk the Mage snorted. He had a lot of trouble with pollen, every time

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