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Mundane Matters

A 38-post collection

Challenge #04297-K279: Hottest Singles...

::smacking computer:: Stop showing me nsfw ads! I know there’s desperate [SLURS] in my area!

I HAVE A MIRROR! -- Anon Guest

Techie Darins opened the latest alert from Systems Advertising Systems (inc), specifically a complaint from the Social Video subsidiary.

Dear content creator, the forwarded automail said, Your uploaded video has been demonetised owing to issues with your script text file. Our automatic systems have detected problematic phraseology. While this remains an issue, you will not be receiving financial income from your video, "Herbal Consciousness Aid". Please remove, review, and re-upload this content for maximum efficacy immediately.

Of course, Systems Advertising Systems had to upload their advertising to the Social Video site just to have them run on other people's content. The automatic filters should not be running on the internal advertising channel.

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Challenge #04177-K159: Tough to Swallow

A person was given powerful painkillers when they got hurt. Later, they were taking calming drugs, regularly, during therapy. Unfortunately, they became addicted to both. The ones that prescribed the medications now had to help the person to be weaned off of them.

(( Note - one of the big reasons there was a major addiction to drugs like oxycontin and other painkillers is due to them being over-prescribed, sadly.)) -- Anon Guest

[AN: No worries, OP, I have witnessed several "miracle drugs"

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Challenge #04019-K001: Careful Scrutiny

What looks like an ordinary cat is sitting on the slightly crumpled lip of a garage awning. However, those that can see through the illusion realizes it's a young dragon watching the humans quietly. -- Anon Guest

As far as domestic cats were concerned, this one was a bruiser. Larger than the average housecat, and clearly a shorthair. It was also clearly nestled on a bent portion of roof. Some humorous images could circulate if anyone paid attention to it.

In this

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Challenge #04001-J349: Weirdest Roommate Ever

A: So I’ve got a spider in my apartment…

B: Spiders are actually good, just leave them alone.

A: Wait, really?

B: Yeah, they eat other pest, so it’s better to keep them around.

6-feet spider: I αɱ αʅʅ ƚԋαƚ ʂƚαɳԃʂ Ⴆҽƚɯҽҽɳ ყσυ αɳԃ ɾσαƈԋҽʂ Jσʂҽρԋ. Yσυ ƈԋσʂҽɳ ɯιʂҽʅყ ƚσ υρԋσʅԃ συɾ αʅʅιαɳƈҽ, ɱყ ϝɾιҽɳԃ.

If you can't read the glitch texts it said "I am all that stand between you and the roaches Joseph. You have chosen wisely to

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Challenge #03929-J277: Typical Tabletop Talk

P: “Calcium is a metal right?”

DM: “Right…”

P: “Ergo it’s affected by heat metal”

DM: “go on…”

P: “I cast heat metal on his skeleton”

DM: “… f*<£ it I’ll allow it”

[several turns later]

“As the evil wizard succumbs to his wounds, with his final breath,

He summons a Rust Devil” -- Anon Guest

"Wait. What?"

"Rust. Devil. An infernal variant of the rust monster." The DM at the table, Yaz, grinned. She was radiating smugness. "They have

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Challenge #03922-J270: Sole Area of Genius

"How often do we have to go through this? I love you, you silly furball, but do NOT try sniff at my cactus! I don't HAVE any shelves higher and I'm tired of pulling thorns from your nose!" -- Anon Guest

Some cats, every cat person knows, reserve their brain cells for specific purposes. When it comes to that specific area of expertise, they're absolute little fluffy geniuses. For everything else... their brains may well be made of sawdust.

Case in point,

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Challenge #03824-J172: Bros Helping Bros

A: I wish someone would take me out

B: on a date or with a gun? -- Anon Guest

[AN: Offensensitivity warning for self-harm talk]

The silence between them was far too long as Milo thought about it. So long that Damian looked over to his friend in growing concern.

"Dude, that was meant to be a joke."

"I mean... possibly?" said Milo, still frowning in thought. "But also taking it seriously is making me realise I'm in a fuckin' terrible place.

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Challenge #03805-J153: Got 'Em!

Power goes out, kids are whining about having nothing to do. And whine even louder when the parental says, "Well, at least we have books." -- Anon Guest

Rennie took three deep breaths as Kody and Vince continued their howling. Of course, being forced to do reading was tantamount to homework and therefore the worst torture in the world.

"The other option is housework," said Rennie, immediately calming the boys down about their immediate future. "We can make it fun."

Kody and

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