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A 4874-post collection

Challenge #00436 - A062: Humans!

If it’s stupid but it works, it’s not a stupid idea.

*post-plan*

I don’t care if it worked, that was still a stupid idea.

Ax'and'l glared at them. Taking up space. They had been taking up space in Hwell’s quarters, but everywhere they went… Hwell just had to trot a few out into the open and try to sell them off.

“When are we going to get rid of those horrendous–”

“Don'tsayitoutloud, theycanunderstandGalstand,” Hwell rattled through gritted teeth. “Ifyousayitoutloud, nobodywillbuythem.”

Ah. so he was actively trying to sell them and Ax'and'l pointing out the truth had been souring their profits.

“Let me guess. You have one of your human plans.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“All your plans are mind-bogglingly stupid.”

“If it’s a stupid plan and it works, then it isn’t a stupid plan.”

*

“Love gloves.”

“Yyyyyyyyyup.”

“Grooming aids.”

“Yyyyyyyyyup.”

“You sold sex aids from one species as grooming aids for another.”

“And as an interesting cooking tool to the Gyiiks.”

They were gone from his life. The original cardboard packaging recycled for their component atoms. Conspicuous by their absence. And yet…

“I don’t care if your plan worked. It was still a stupid idea.”

Hwell just blew him a friendly raspberry.

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Challenge #00436 - A061: Aftermath

*sigh* The latest Story Snippet just won’t leave my brain.

So I’ll inflict it back on the author. 

http://internutter.tumblr.com/post/75405951567/challenge-00396-a031-to-stop-human

Directly related to this, can we see either some from the human that snuck into the ship’s POV or Koq'riix’s waking up after they left the two items.

[AN: Heh. The OP need not be notified ;) ]

Koq'riix jolted into awareness as the airlock cycled shut. It had been the

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Challenge #00435 - A060: An Average Sight at a Particular Exit

2.

It was agreed by all that watching them come running out of the perfectly ordinary museums, occasionally while screeching or falling over (or more bizarrely a combination of the above and laughter) was most amusing. It seemed to happen more often around museums with audio assistance too…

[AN: Accessibility is a common thing in the Amalgam Universe. Grav-lifts in the middle of stair columns. Ramps wherever possible. Audio and visual assistance in a ‘take one if needed’ basket

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Challenge #00434 - A059: One Extraordinary Shift in the Museum of Disturbing Things

1.

No-one was quite sure if the now-almost-constant presence of at least a couple of humans wandering around the Museum of Disturbing Things ooh-ing and aah-ing at the exhibits made things better or worse..

What made the Disturbing Things so disturbing was not only that they existed, but the history that went with them.

Unsurprisingly, the humans had an entire wing. Some were gruesome exhibits from old Terra, like the skull of a man who survived being pierced through it with an

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Challenge #00433 - A058: Registered Toxic Passenger

(unfortunate real-life inspiration time!)

Considering how the aliens react to comparatively non-corrosive/hazardous materials, they must have either gone into DEFCON 1 or completely catatonic the first time a human vomited.

Other humans making sympathetic noises and cleaning up  (*gasp* without even a hazard suit, the horror) while the aliens panic are completely optional

(No wonder the humans are insane, they’re full of hydrochloric acid strong enough to melt their own internal organs)

“We have lost spin,” said

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Challenge #00432 - A057: Arachnaphobia

It took a surprisingly long time for the other cogniscients to realise how much /they/ scared the humans too.

Of course, some got the message more quickly than others

Lo-grav worlds are rarer than high-grav ones. For reasons that become quickly obvious the more one learns of physics and biology.

When low-gravity life evolves, it happens in artificial environments.

Which are also targets for scavengers.

The spider-people of H'nuf'ruf learned of humans through such expeditions. They never saw humans as dangerous, and

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Challenge #00431 - A056: One Dark Evening at a Motel of Ill Repute

Dear person checking behind the curtain for serial killers, DO YOU MIND?!? Sincerely, serial killer trying to take a shower”

[AN: That’s practically a story on its own.]

Hannibal shrieked and hid his junk with the shower rose. And both hands. “What the hell, Will?”

“Sorry. It’s this place. It’s like I'm compelled to check the shower curtains for serial killers.”

“Well, there’s just me. Do you

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Challenge #00430 - A055: Ballroom Blitz

Everything was going swimmingly until someone pulled out a disco ball.

“The music’s nice and all, but there’s somethin’ missin’.”

“By now, I dare not ask,” deadpanned Rael. “Just accept that whatever it is is most definitely a bad idea and leave things alone for a change.”

“Aaaahh… What sort'a party would it be wi'out a disco ball?”

*

The answer to that question, especially with Meyahndans sharing

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Challenge #00429 - A054: Urgent Call Home

T'reka’s first communications with the others in her colony group/science base/whoever, after being around the humans for a while

“Uh. Trekker?” said Su-syn. “Your… thing making noise.”

T'reka checked it. It was the urgent-summons. And there was no time to get to her base. “I must checking in! No time. Running is too slow! If I fail, they burn continent.”

Su-syn grinned. “Not worries.”

It was called a Horss.

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Challenge #00428 - A053: One Fine Afternoon in the Local Comic Shop

A recent submission to the Hawkeye Initiative involved Wolverine instead:

https://24.media.tumblr.com/3d2615b3cd199b3c78d97b5d9376b96a/tumblr_mzpei7EzOd1rmx3kqo1_500.jpg

So, how did he get into the situation on the right?

[AN: Since the short answer of “Sara did it” is cowardly…]

He had one job. In two parts. Part One: Escort Sara to the comic shop and back. Part Two: Keep them both out of trouble.

And it was going well, so far.

“Uuuugghhhh…”

In

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Challenge #00427 - A052: A Strange Meeting in a Bubble Dimension

Sara, T'reka and bug-based cuisine

[AN: Sara Louise Adrien and T'reka exist in different universes, so of course Shayde has to get involved. If you meant Sahra Johnston then you’ll have to submit a new prompt :) ]

“Uuuuunnnggghhh….” Rael moaned. He felt like he was forced into his usual, humanoid shape too early. “Wh’t?” He looked to his right and was shocked to discover a historical figure at his elbow. Living, breathing fame. Replete

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Challenge #00426 - A051: When You Meet a Stranger...

K'iiv and Del are adorable, how did they meet/begin their relationship?

K'iiv preened his plumage nervously. He hated meeting new people. All the good advice for conquering social anxiety never, ever worked. It was either completely wrong for the situation or just… completely wrong.

Nevertheless, he attempted to use them anyway.

Going into a situation without a plan was infinitely less preferable than going in with a bad one.

Today’s plan was, picture the stranger without their feathers

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Challenge #00425 - A050: Metal's Mettle

People die by the soldier’s steel. People live by the blacksmith’s iron. – RecklessPrudence

They say that magic and iron don’t mix.

What do they know?

Common magic does not fare well against iron and steel because both are a different kind of magic. It is a magic of muscle and might and hot fires. Making useful things out of that which was once just rust.

And it is why, should you travel to the village

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Even a God/dess needs sustenance.

A (literal, not figurative) God/dess, fallen on hard times, forced to work 9-to-5 to make a living, in the absence of offerings et cetera. And how the lowly mortals around them feel about it.

Make it as light-hearted or dark, as uplifting or Schadenfreudic(?) as you please. – RecklessPrudence

(#00424 - A049)

[AN: Considering that 99.99999% of Gods are arseholes…]

Grace tried to hurry past the street market. Goddamn hippies were bad enough, but now there were goddamn foreign

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Romantic vs Classicist*

A seemingly eternal argument between some friends and I.

*As defined by a philosophy student who was party to some of them - he later admitted he got the definitions from ‘Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance’.

“Form follows Function. A well-built machine, designed to last decades if not longer, has a quiet craftsmanship, an economical beauty, which no amount of pointless frippery or gilding - or, indeed, curved plastic - can ever match.”

“But much

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