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A 4765-post collection

Challenge #00323: But is it Art?

Toad has come along to one of Sara, Scott or anyone else’s art showings, and in this circle, his mannerisms seem to have accidentally passed him off as an expert or art critic. He’s having fun, and the artist is not sure whether to laugh at how the rich folk are swallowing all of it and buying the work, or cry at how wrong he is about certain bits.

It was one of Sara’s ‘sideshow’ pieces she called The Abyss. It used mirrors to create the illusion of an endless gulf, and secret sensors to detect how long someone had been staring into it before another hidden mechanism activated a pair of eyes… watching the watcher.

Todd stared into it long enough for it to stare back, and chuckled briefly at the very Sara sense of humor involved.

The next piece along was a series of studies. Self-portraits through time. Collaged in such a way as to give the illusion of both motion and three dimensions. Which was quite a trick, because the self-portraits involved started way back before kindergarten.

And -yes- there was a photo of that self-portrait. It was still behind a discretionary curtain in another corner. This work censored it with another self-portrait covering up the non-existent naughty bits.

Sahra had been honest, sometimes cruelly so, in her self-images. The final one in this frame was an homage to Norman Rockwell, with herself in uniform and aqua skin painting the self that everyone saw every day.

He moved on, nodding at the line of folks seeking to peek beyond the curtain, to the kinetic sculpture and the room of sounds.

Kids were going insane in the room of sounds. Every noise they made splashed across the walls and ceiling as vivid colour and shape. It was called Synesthesia, but everyone who went there asked for the room of sounds.

And, regardless of the kids’ whooping and hollering, someone was watching what it looked like when they sang.

Todd noticed he had a small group of followers. Hipsters, if he was any judge. Half of them were texting.

He raised an eyebrow, “Can I help you?”

“Isn’t the room of sounds an abomination against the nature of Art?” said the spokester.

Synesthesia,” Todd corrected, “is an exploration in interactivity creating art of the moment. By giving a tool to the common throng, as it were, the artist invites others to become artists by using themselves as part of the medium.”

It was almost ad copy from the placards outside of the doors, but the Hipsters swallowed it. Hook, line and sinker.

“And the tragic seesaw?” said a creature of black dye and multiple piercings.

Entropy is a study in balance and movement, carefully constructed to give the illusion of frailty whilst being near-indestructable. No doubt you’ve discovered the least breeze sets it moving?”

“It has motors in it to make sure it never stops,” sneered a goth hipster.

“No motors at all. There should be gloves nearby for those who want to try and stop it. You’ll find it tricky, though. The sculpture generates its own breezes.”

That, and Sara thoughtfully parked it under an AC vent, so it would always be moving. She never stopped giggling at the people attempting to stop it to find out where the motors were.

“You talk like you made it,” noted a grunge hipster.

“No, but I am familiar with the artist’s works. You should try discovering a few things about the pieces before you critique them so… minimally.”

They scattered. Todd turned to find Sara spraining something with the effort to not laugh.

“Always gotta run away from th’ source of truth.”

“If I didn’t have so much to do, I’d have a performance piece entitled, ’Ask a Rude Question, Get an Honest Answer’,” Sara rolled her eyes at the hipsters. “They think you’re a famous art critic, by the by.”

Todd shrugged. He wore black because it was easier, some days, to not have to worry about what to wear. He had been appreciating the art, which anyone could do. And he’d been looking thoughtful and hemming a lot. “That’s their problem,” he announced.

“Lunch?”

“My thoughts exactly,” he grinned.

Behind them, the hipsters were having a chicken fight with Entropy, in an effort to catch all the swinging, dipping, and swaying parts. The cameras would catch it all for Sara’s later amusement.

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Challenge #00322: Amphibious

We haven’t heard from Todd for a while, or Mortimer, or any of your incarnations of mister Toynbee. Quick, what’s one of them doing right now?

Ha! This was the little bugger. He got it! He got the little bastard. Mortimer cackled to himself as he extracted the bug - Sammy’s pet phasmids had escaped and this one, sadly, never learned to stay out of electronics - from the system. He wrapped the sad remains in

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Challenge #00321: Cupcakes! Cupcakes! Cupcakes!

Nobody was entirely sure whether to curse the humans or begin worshipping them for introducing the cupcake to the galactic community. 

The human capacity for invention - alongside their notorious insanity, of course - knows no bounds. Therefore it should have been no surprise that both extended to their food.

Bread is universal. Leavening is not. Cake is known, and has saved some species from extinction. Fruitcake - a human seasonal delicacy - has saved civilizations.

And don’t get anyone

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Challenge #00320: Homo S. Cuisine

Considering how many toxic things humans ate, it was a little surprising that their cooking was not only edible, but delicious.

“YE-HE-HEEESSSSS! It’s here!”

The nervous Passeri crew gathered at a safe distance to watch the Ship Human - somewhere between lucky mascot and terrifying on-board entertainment - cackle and sing to herself.

They had been told that female humans were far more trainable than the males. That they were, on the whole, quieter and less dangerous than

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Challenge #00319: In Memorium

Found on a gravestone, “Name, date-date, (Killed 99 bears) We pray he has found rest”

We pray he found rest. We’re not sure, but we hope so, because nobody ever found a body, and 99 may not have been enough.

(replace bears with appropriate sentient or nonsentient species at your discretion, especially in the case of early-contact humans :P)

If any being needed any further proof of human insanity - besides ten minutes’ contact with any number

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Some questions should remain unspoken.

“I can’t believe you just said that. I am so glad they ended the call before they heard you.”

“What? It was a perfectly valid question.”

“I don’t care, it’s downright rude! And kind of disgusting.”

“But now you’re thinking about it, aren’t you?”

“…yes, damn you.  Next time you wonder something like ‘How do conjoined twins decide whose hand wipes

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Challenge #00317: Common Band

Different cultures, different vocal physiologies, and different mechanisms of hearing certainly make for interesting music nights.

Of all the past human phenomena that proved endlessly fascinating, the one that Rael could not turn away from was ‘channel surfing’. Every time either one of them found themselves at the other’s residence, Rael always let Shayde have the entertainment remote.

Not because she had good taste, but because what she did fascinated him.

Even the humans used to limited entertainments

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Challenge #00316: Sing-along

Humans burst into song spontaneously all the time, usually started just by one humming and becoming a little quartet or a vocalist and backing choir very suddenly.

Add in various aliens, and the somewhat macabre lyrics for the beginning of Bohemian Rhapsody

The humans called him Captain Ted. It was the closest they could get to Tyd'r'kaad and, compared to the many other things they said and did, it was only mildly annoying.

He was the first galactic captain to have

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Challenge #00315: Downhill From There

A Tragic Mispronunciation and its results

“This is all your fault!”

“Me? It was him that didnae recharge his teletubby.”

“Assistant.”

“Whatever.” Shayde struggled upright. "And he said he wanted a bubble-bath of oranges…“

"A meal at Unsuitable Food..”

“I was bein’ amenable.”

“You do not take Ambassador Maliik’s common nouns at face value!”

“Well I wasnae given the Cliff Notes!

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Challenge #00314: Ekkritism

(Someone had a mispronunciation accident, this was the result)

Wolverine: Oranges

“Just a warning, Ambassador Maliik suffers from Ekkritism,” Rael murmured into Shayde’s ear.

“Aye? And what’s that when it’s at home?”

Translation: I know you’re trying to tell me something, but I have no idea what it means.

“He unfortunately mispronounces all names as common nouns with seemingly no relation to the original name.”

“Oh, this

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One good turn deserves another - a good samaritan winds up with superpowers as a result.

One good turn deserves another - a wai

[AN: O noes! Looks like an accidental premature submission. I shall do what I can with what there is…]

(#00311)

It took her two hours to reach the accident site. By then, most of the fires were out, and most of the people who had survived the crash had perished.

Nothing to be done about that. The authorities were days away. Things rarely fell from the sky, and when they did, they never

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One other Clarke's Third Law thing.

So, there’s Clarke’s Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Then there’s what I first ran across attributed (in a Uni textbook, no less!) as Murphy’s reformulation of Clarke’s law: Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.

Then there’s what is in the textbook as a Programmers’ restatement of Murphy’s reformulation of Clarke: Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from a rigged demonstration.

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Challenge #00309: The Body Language Gap

(Well, you mentioned prior experience in that last snippet, so…)

T'reka and hugs.

(also if the story you mentioned being sparked from that gets written, I totally want in on your beta reading list and will probably buy it multiple times)

[AN: After I finish writing the Hevun’s Child series I will be working on The Amity Incident. 120K word goal. But before that, I think I deserve a week’s rest, don’t you?]

There was

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Also on a gravestone.

It is said that life is a comedy to those who think,
And a tragedy to those who feel.  I never could figure out
Which it was for me.  May you have better luck. – RecklessPrudence

(#00308)

T-shirts had made a comeback, though many cogniscents who had taken them up had not grasped some of the basic concepts. Like, they had to feature something witty, controversial, or downright offensive.

Some, Rael noted, had gone for profound.

Shayde, sporting one that read, Life

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Seen on a gravestone.

Adhuc Vivo!
(It’s Latin, look it up)


Yes, the parentheses were on the gravestone too. – RecklessPrudence

(#00307)

[AN: For those too lazy to do as the parentheses suggest, it translates out to “Thus far, alive.” which is a very ironic thing to stick on a gravestone]

It was a long trip home, and lead naturally to introspection.

“Plant a tree and think of me,” Rael recited. “Did you choose that epitaph?”

“I

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