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A 4934-post collection

Challenge #01099-C002: Sample Curse

"Oh! It's easy to get Feegles out of a pub. You just have to know how." -- Knitnan

"And how, pray tell," said the beleaguered barman, "does one get Feegles out of a pub?"

Tiffany Aching cleared her throat and climbed up to stand on the bar. ""Some schemie at the standin' stones is lookin' fer a tussle!"

The barman joined her on her perch as the Feegles stampeded out of the bar and towards the standing stones. The very distant standing stones.

Tiffany climbed back down. "They'll have a fight, all right. Mostly with each other. And by then you'll have closed up while you have the chance."

"All right," said the barman, currently glad just to have them gone. "How do I keep them out?"

Tiffany handed over a small card with a sigil on it. "They're not great at reading, but if they see this mark, they know I'll be angry if your property goes missing."

"I'll make sure to put it near floor height, mistress."

"Good." Tiffany nodded. "And in return, I expect you to keep away from gambling and strong drink in combination, Habeus Carter. If I have to see to your wife's bruises or your kiddies' broken arms again, there will be a reckoning."

The barman went white. "Yes'm."

And he knew something of what a reckoning would look like. Those little blue men were just a glimpse of the terrible curses a witch could visit on a man.

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Challenge #01098-C001: The Company Kept

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/136636127295/mikkeneko-torn-by-dreams-thewintergrump -- Gallifreya

[AN: This story comes as a sequel to this one ]

He didn't get it. And nobody could understand his side of it either. Derek was not confused or mislead. He knew what his heart wanted, more than anything else in the world. And that was Allethar.

From their increasingly brief times together, he could tell that Allethar's parents had similarly antiquated attitudes. There was talk from both the human and the dragon families

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Challenge #01096-B364: Selat Yriaf

Let's get this show on the road, and chip away that gap if it bothers you! http://internutter.tumblr.com/post/136431436841/reverse-fairy-tales

Pick 2 -- Gallifreya

[As you can see, I am currently 28 days behind the actual turn of the year. 29 if you could the day off I have at Christmas. I'll take all the doubles anyone can give and let my smarter viewers do the math.]

A.

There had been a storm. His ship was tempest-tossed into smithereens

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Challenge #01095-B363: But What Does it Mean?

Another sentence for SPoE(n): “Because of the agency’s oversight, the corporation’s behavior was sanctioned.” And other words that exemplify the "superiority" and "purity" of English: http://mentalfloss.com/article/57032/25-words-are-their-own-opposites -- RecklessPrudence

They had given Shayde a piece of paper preserved under glass. In a special room with careful lighting. Between the half-words on either side, an innocuous sentence.

Because of the agency’s oversight, the corporation’s behavior was sanctioned.

It was news print. The other side

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Challenge #01094-B362: Slip of the Tongue

The first time someone else hears a monster refer to Asgore as "King Fluffybuns" In Asgore's presence -- Gallifreya

[AN: Whoops, I kinda did that yesterday as well. Perspective change should help]

The President held her breath rather than snort. Had that old turtle said what she thought he'd said? Judging by the growing blushes on the goat people, he had. The brace of ministers and royalty all had contagious shaking shoulders, bitten lips, and a selection of small snorting noises.

"Heheh,

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Challenge #01093-B361: One Little Slip

The first time someone else hears a monster refer to the king as "King Fluffybuns" -- Gallifreya

Gerson had said it before he realised he'd said it. There were humans present. Important, official humans. And they had all heard him say 'King Fluffybuns'.

And now some of them seemed to be choking on their laughter.

"Heheh," he managed. "Old Underground joke."

And it did not help that both the King and Queen Dreemurr were blushing.

The humans convulsed. Some snorted. A room

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Challenge #01092-B360: Registering as Immortal

This one from "Going Postal" by Sir Terry Prachett. "were to be regretted"*

*Another bastard phrase that lends itself to any weasel in a tight corner. -- KnitNan

Certain phrases, when used in Administrivia and the unhallowed halls of bureaucracy, are heralds of impending doom. Some... are what the plebes are wont to call 'arse covers'.

It resulted in actions or decisions that, while correct, "were to be regretted". Employees more interested in keeping their job than helping people. A system derived

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Challenge #01091-B359: Here There Be Dragon Nesting Grounds

About learning a new way of breathing fire from her partner, that involves... well... nuclear fusion:

She's kept it a secret, yes. Long flights over the ocean... enormous detonations... a romantic evening for two dragons. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Sounds more like nuclear fission, but whatevs]

The tiny island had been turned to glass where it hadn't been turned to soot. And even the soot had burned off. And the heat from within spoke of lava, but Relikor could not sense any other

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Challenge #01090-B358: The Third Strike

My God, it's full of nerds... -- Gallifreya

[AN: I love it when my fans use one of my turns of phrase against me. FYI this is a quote from Touch Feast aka Story #01066]

He told himself he was doing this to get into her world. He certainly hoped it would help him gain access to her pants. Her immunity to his negging and other pickup tactics meant that she was a bigger obstacle to overcome. She had to be worth

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Challenge #01089-B357: Sympathy for the Demons

http://iopele.tumblr.com/post/135904233152/bluandorange-selkiecomrade-selkiecomrade

There was a large amount added to the Satan Claus post. -- Anon Guest

Demons across the multitudinous arenas of hell flinched. Their master was angry. Their master was calling.

"BELPHAGOOOOORRRRRRR!"

And that one demon was in deep, deep trouble.

The demon could not disobey the call of his master. He ran to the Great Office with his black heart pounding and his forked tongue knotted in fear. "I have come, master."

The Lord of

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Challenge #01088-B356: Catch of the Day

http://deathcomes4u.tumblr.com/post/135909651673/mythsofthesea-faerytale-wings-merman-and -- Anon Guest

[AN: Epileptics, beware of the gif background]

The water was her second home. People who knew Nel said that they were waiting for her to grow gills. The people of Nothéré Island knew her so well that she once attended a job interview in a bikini and flipflops. Nel knew everywhere on Nothéré in relation to the closest or the most convenient swimming location.

And it was one summer afternoon after a

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Challenge #01087-B355: One Inconvenient Mid-morning in a Haunted House

"I sense a powerful presence in this house, a spirit of the restless dead, chained to this world..."

psychic opens eyes, sees 8 foot skeleton standing in the doorway, wearing an apron and holding a bowl of cake batter -- Anon Guest

There was a moment of perfect silence. The skeleton kept stirring the batter, but slowly. He had a pink apron on that featured a lacy edge and a large, pink heart on the chest.

"Er," said the psychic.

"You weren't

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Challenge #01086-B354: Past, Present and Future

Lewis Pepper was a giant of a man, nine feet tall with really big hands...

(to get the reference, look up https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEdM4iL3hK8 but beware earworms)

[AN: I have kids. Of firkin course I've seen Wreck-it Ralph. Plus (mumbleIactuallykindofenjoyallthepixarmoviesmumble)...]

Arthur had been aware of yet another shadow looming out of him, thus closing off his final avenue for escape. He knew he was going to get pounded for being a weak, skinny, undersized nerd. So he closed

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Challenge #01085-B353: The Cosmic Balldance

Shayde, a costume party, and hundreds of miniscule self-adhesive glow in the dark stars. -- Gallifreya

Of all the reasons that humans had found to throw a party, the autumn festival of Halloween confused him the most. Mediaeval superstition met a modern-day desire for revelry head-on in a display of both ingenuity and greed.

Case in point, the Ambassador of 1986TCE[1] Shayde F. Pitt was throwing a Halloween ball. It promised to be one of the more colourful human celebrations. And

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Challenge #01084-B352: One Early Dawn Ceremony Far From His Master's Tower

http://paintdripps.tumblr.com/post/133942666585/magic-aus-for-all-your-magic-au-needs

One more time -- Gallifreya

The demon looked down at the circle around the mage. "Yer kiddin' me, right?" it said. It looked like a human shape, but it was obviously not human. For a start, its skin was as black as coal, and its demonic eyes burned with their own fire.

"Avaunt, foul beast," said Tra'gyk the mage. He held up his binding talisman. "I hath summoned thee with my mighty magic and thou

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