Instant Story

Flash fiction fresh from my fingers to your mind!

Challenge #00804-B073: BSOD'd? BPFB!

internutter:

This is the pink rabbit of happiness. If your story has subject matter that you’re wholly uncomfortable with writing for any reason, the pink rabbit steals the prompt and replaces it with “Write a short story about a pink rabbit”

[AN: The whole point of challenges is that I find my boundaries and ways to wriggle around them :D Image shows a pink, plush rabbit toy with floppy ears and a bow around its neck]

There’s all kinds of damaged robots who find their way into Walter Robotics’ Home for Abandoned Automatons. The broken, the malfunctioning, the virus-riddled…

And then there’s Bitzer.

She arrived in a wooden crate and a perpetual state of worry and panic. She preferred to hide under staircases and needed constant reassurance that the Walter Workers there would not “ruin Maman’s good work.” And she laboured under the misapprehension that her creator, her Maman, was both still alive and somewhere “out in the wide world”.

She shouldn’t have worked at all, the way she was put together, but she did. And Walter Workers knew better than to interfere with something that worked. Not even to find out how and why. The spare parts and mechanical leftovers that went into her making were almost a century old. Some, more than a century. She was 117 and still suffering from New Bot Narcolepsy. And her patchwork plating needed a thorough going over. And worse, she hadn’t had an oil change for decades.

Which was why one morning found the junk-made robot thoroughly wedged under the stairs, repeating, “Non, non, non!” to the crowding Walter Workers. All of whom were varyingly attempting to get her out of there, get her to accept new oil, get her to accept new clothes, or just to find out what the hell she was doing under the stairs this time.

It was at such a point that a serious intervention was in need, and why Matter Mistress Caroline hustled the crowd into the break room for twenty minutes.

She ducked under the stairs long enough to say, “It’s all right now. I’ve made them go away. I’m coming back in just a few minutes and then we can have a nice, quiet talk.”

Bitzer gave a very quiet and uncertain whimper, but didn’t move.

Caroline dashed for the emergency calm kit (cold water and the best oil) and fetched a pink, plush bunny that was big enough to use as a bean bag, and dragged the whole lot back to the space under the stairs. Once there, she set up a little picnic between herself, the rabbit, and the still-huddled Bitzer. Her scarf for the picnic blanket, of course. And hardy plastic teacups from one of the playsets also stored under the stairs.

With great ceremony, Caroline poured everyone alive a cup of cold water. And mimed giving invisible tea to the rabbit.

This was enough to spark Bitzer’s curiosity and get her to join in with the picnic. “Quaes’que c’est?” she whispered. She had yet to talk at what anyone else considered a normal volume. Or, for that matter, act in any way but defensive and cautious.

“It’s just water,” soothed Caroline, and demonstrated by taking a sip of her own. “You can swap cups if you don’t trust me. I don’t mind.” She made a show of putting her cup down and folding her hands in her lap.

Bitzer settled into a kneeling position opposite Caroline and the bunny. Picked up her own cup and sipped. Then downed the entire thing. A sizzling indicated that her boiler had been running low.

“Another?”

“…’es please…”

It took four cups to refill the boiler to a point where Caroline wasn’t worried about Bitzer any more. And even then, she readily refilled the cup whenever it was empty.

“Who is the gentleman?” the junkbot asked.

Oh. Right. Pink was a manly colour before World War Two. “Well, to anyone else, he’s just a pink plush bunny. He needs a friend. And a name. Would you oblige?”

“Bonjour M’seur Lapin,” she  reached across to take her hand and allow the toy to ‘kiss’ her knuckles. “Je m’appelle Bitzer Kludge.”

“All soft toys enjoy hugs,” said Caroline casually.

It wasn’t long after that that Bitzer had an enormous pink rabbit mostly between herself and Caroline. And it wasn’t long after that that she was quietly confessing all of her fears and concerns. Things that could have been easily addressed if the rest of the Walter Workers had just taken the time to both listen and address them.

The only drawback to the ‘treatment’ was that Bitzer henceforth insisted on the escort of M’seur Lapin. Everywhere she went.

[Muse food remaining: 17. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Challenge #00804-B073: BSOD'd? BPFB!

This is the pink rabbit of happiness. If your story has subject matter that you’re wholly uncomfortable with writing for any reason, the pink rabbit steals the prompt and replaces it with “Write a short story about a pink rabbit”

[AN: The whole point of challenges is that I find my boundaries and ways to wriggle around them :D Image shows a pink, plush rabbit toy with floppy ears and a bow around its neck]

There’s all kinds of damaged

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Challenge #00803-B072: How the Flakk do You Stop Human?

Human sweat is so acidic, it can corrode metals. By micrometers and over years, but still

Something there is, an ancient poet wrote, that does not like a wall. The poem was about the forces of entropy versus cogniscent-made structures, but Rael knew for a fact that that ‘something’ also pertained to humans.

They were practically a force of entropy on their own.

Case in point: Shayde.

Not only was she obviously isolated from current societal norms, but she had a large

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Challenge #00802-B071: Diggy Diggy Hole

“Didn’t anybody tell you that when you are in a hole of your own making, Don’t keep digging.”

Hwell called it a ‘fox hole’, but its dimensions were closer to that of an elephant. And it was now very deep, because the native pests had a long reach that went along with their fear of falling.

It was past dawn. They were gone, now.

“We’re in a hole,” said Hwell. “Um. Too wide to climb out. Loose soil,

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Challenge #00801-B070: When Lorraine Met Walter

Is it bird! Is it a plane. No it’s a Plot Bunny!

[AN: This story hails all the way back to story #298 in the first One Year of Instants. Buy your copy now!]

When she first saw Walter, she mistook him for a hobo and pretended she didn’t see him.

Their second meeting was even less auspicious. Her landlord hired her to serve him a writ about the smell. She found him in the middle of a nest of

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Challenge #00800-B069: Back Off, We're Celebrating!

“Light blue touch paper! Run like Hell!”

It looked like a cylinder with a cone at one end and a stick at the other. The purpose of the string at the stick end was just as mysterious as the cone. It was painted in toxic stripes, therefore it was dangerous.

“What is this?” said T’reka.

Humans use it to celebrate,” said Susan. “They’re rockets designed to explode. For art.”

Nobody on Amity could side-eye like a Numidid. T’

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Challenge #00799-B068: What, When You Own The World?

The domino effect, as applied to takeovers, and what happens when the last one falls.

This was it. The pinnacle of success. Fortune Incorporated had made its last takeover. With this signing, with this handshake, with this cluster of flashes dazzling his eye… Fortune Inc owned every business in the world… and since he owned Fortune Inc, he owned the world.

For the entire press conference, the glamorous soiree, it was all he could do to maintain a restrained and

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Challenge #00798-B067: A Solid What?

That most interesting of currencies, The Favour.

“It is not worth my Time, patience and anguish to even go near that piece of retro insanity you call a personal vehicle.”

Shayde thought she was upping the ante when she said, “I’ll owe ye a solid…”

He glared at her. “A solid what?”

“A solid favour. It’s a thing. Like ye need me tae do som'att ye don’t want

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Challenge #00797-B066: The Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Really Bad Idea

“This year’s human sacrifice features something very special- actual humans!”

“What were they sacrificing before?” murmured Edilade “Soy humans?”

“Best not to ask,” whispered Janet. “You have any of those smoke bombs I told you to dispose of?”

“Of course not.”

“Well, gimme some of those smoke bombs you don’t have.” Janet had already escaped the natives’ shackles. They all had. Being a scavenger

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Challenge #00796-B065: These Humans Are Crazy

An aliens reaction to the punch buggy game

“Punch buggy white!”

“Hey! One, that is clearly blue, and two - we’re in a freaking car museum. Knock it off.”

“Where’s your sense of humour?”

Janice gritted her teeth. “We’re in front of ambassadors,” she grated. “You’re embarrassing your entire species.”

Meanwhile, Ambassador Vrex was taking notes. Humans are instinctually violent. Even their games and

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Challenge #00795-B064: Come to Scenic Gravity Falls

 Mabel Pines and Francouer.
(if you don’t watch Gravity Falls a. Do it and b. this is now a free prompt day)

[AN: I do watch, I’m just not into the decoding stuff because I’m daft. I let everyone else do that.]

“I’ll show you all! I’ll summon a monster from ages past to destroy you all! Destroy you all! Destroy you all! Destroy you all!”

“Uh…” said Dipper. “Was it necessary

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Challenge #00794-B063: The Arboretum of Death

Bunya Pines. That is all.

[AN: SO very tempted to add a distant relative to Gravity Falls…]

People came from all over to see the deadly plants. They did not come to experience personal encounters with them. Just to see, and goggle in amazement that they existed at all.

Of course, it was no shock to many that the majority of these deadly plants came from Earth

Most of the protected walkways were surrounded on all sides by the best of

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Challenge #00793-B062: One Puzzling Afternoon in the Ambassador's Lounge

http://eighthdoctor.tumblr.com/post/104127747867/okay-but-i-spent-the-afternoon-reading-about-venus

“Wait. Wait. I need to understand this.”

Shayde sighed. It wasn’t the first time she’d had to explain it in depth. “Go on.”

“Your people took seven goes to find a planet.”

“Yeh, the thing aboot space is… it’s big. There’s loads o’ stuff in it ye ken…”

“It was your intra-stellar neighbour on an

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Challenge #00792-B061: One Smoke-Filled Evening in a Dimly-Lit Room

Vetenari being a tidy soul, would have made certain that the mess he’d tidied up Stayed tidy.

Republican Secret Congress, the not-too-distant future…

“Okay, so the Thin Man is gone, and so is President Gunther. The question now is, how do we reverse the damage to America?”

“We can’t use the old arguments,” said one of the shadowy figures. “The Thin Man gave them dang Liberals all the ammo they’ll ever

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Challenge #00791-B060: One Fine Afternoon Constitutional

Image prompt!
The story of two birds, Numidids optional.

[AN: Image shows two long-necked birds(possibly egrets) facing each other on opposite sides of what looks to be a canal. One bird is white, the other is grey. I also have no idea why the image won’t get quoted any more. Another stuff-up from staff?]

This is Earth. It now prides itself on the strange, the bizarre, and the unusual. Its citizens, for a modest fee, will gleefully exhibit some

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