Humans Are Space Orcs

A 307-post collection

Challenge #02023-E199: Home-Going

What if the reason aliens are uniform across their world is because every species has a deep, intrinsic connection with their home planet. So colonising/terraforming a new planet is considered a form of disownment, as it breaks the connection with your home world. Humans connection is much weaker than most other species, but it allows us to still see humans across the galaxy as HUMANS rather than traitors, or a different "breed" of humanity. -- Sarah

[AN: Obviously, this can't happen in my pet universe. Slight pause whilst I build a new one...]

The greater expanse of civilised space is full to the brim with statistical outliers. Those who chose to forsake their home planet, their mother orb, to make a new place somewhere far from where they began. Except for the Humans.

They had no boundary to the concept of 'home'. They could take up temporary residence in cookie-cutter living quarters and, within an astonishingly short amount of time, they would be calling it 'home'. They could call anywhere they hung their head-garments home. And they had an unending curiosity surrounding the concept of 'next'.

They were fast, and tough, and endlessly adaptable. Each new world was merely a place full of stuff they could use. And they used resources relentlessly. Always looking forward. Rarely looking around themselves at what they were doing now. They were everywhere and they were baffling.

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Challenge #02021-E197: Volatile Situation

“Hold on. YOUR PLANET RAINS WHAT?!!?!”

“Umm... water?”

“Water. The highly corrosive, extremely reactive liquid.”

“I mean, yeah. But...”

“HOLD ON. WHY IS THE WATER ACIDIC? IS YOUR PLANET TRYING TO KILL YOU??!?”

“Oh that? It’s fine. Just the carbon dioxide in the air making it slightly acidic.”

“Define ‘slightly’.”

“Umm... ph5 ish? So about x100 more concentrated than pure water? It’s honestly fine, if you think this is bad, you haven’t seen the ACTUAL acid rain on earth.

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Challenge #02018-E194: After Math

And then she spoke. She was xir’s friend, xir’s confidant, xir’s companion through thick and thin. She was the one xir trusted above anyone else. But she is also dangerous, deadly, and vicious; a deathworlder before all else, a human at heart. Xir will never forget those three words for as long as xir lives:

“Actually, I can.” -- Anon Guest

[AN: I'm going to take your word on the conjugation of this pronoun, Nonny. I can only handle

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Challenge #02017-E193: Like a Boss

Adrenaline is a well known (and banned due to its effectiveness/danger) military combat drug.

What happens when aliens find out that human bodies produce it naturally when under stress or danger? -- Anon Guest

The V'rithi had known Human Jak as a 'team mom', constantly fretting over their collective wellbeing. Making sure they had rodesnax[1] and clothing that would protect them from the elements. Human Jak was constantly gentle and kind, and -to use a Human phrase- wouldn't hurt a

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Challenge #02005-E181: One Line to Cross

Humans are walking biohazard to everyone and everything. Our saliva can cause several pandemics alone is unchecked. If our gut is punctuated, the bacteria (and acid) inside us will eat us alive, not to mention whoever else may come into contact with it.

What happens when the galactic community first learns about this fact?

What happens when a human is found with an open gut wound that has been left untreated? -- Anon Guest

Humans will risk their lives for the beings

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Challenge #01997-E173: With Understanding

Considering many herbivores on earth are gigantic and fully capable of hurting us “predators”, how would a group of humans handle a diplomatic encounter with a council of large, all herbivore, prey-species, in order to convince them to join the larger space society?

We need them to trust us but also respect us.

Fear is a powerful tool indeed. -- Anon Guest

Havenworlders amble gently into cogniscence and cautiously dip their toes into space travel. They are, by nature, the species most

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Challenge #01995-E171: Dangerous Beasts

This isn’t my prompt but I’d like to see what you can do with it.

“I don’t want to know who I was. Before... before... before I was kidnapped as a child,” ze says, and there’s something pained in zir dark eyes. “A happy, drooling kid. Or whatever. Look- if I- if I wasn’t always this way, bitter and angry, that means xe won. That xe changed me. Made me into a new being. I can’t

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Challenge #01993-E169: The Protection Experiment

Considering the terrifying methods our immune system uses to keep us safe, can you please write a story about how aliens first dealt with human diseases (probably something that has a high mutation rate) that jumped the species barrier?

How did they deal with the pandemic (think of what smallpox did in North America) their own immune systems were unprepared for? How did they handle what they found when they researched the crazy human immune system?

Autoimmune disorders?? -- Anon Guest

If

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Challenge #01992-E168: Show Me the Way...

Pre-human contact, a single human accidentally finds themselves in space, and the single most powerful being there to boot. They don’t use their powers for good or evil though, they just really enjoy messing with the other sentients, good and bad alike. Please write a story about how this human deals with the various attempts to get rid of them. (Diplomatic or through force) -- Anon Guest

I had to come to term with a few things. One: Alien abduction is

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Challenge #01984-E160: All of Them?

A place is marked as “ No weapons allowed”.

One (or more) of the crew proceeds to spend a ridiculous amount of time removing all of the weapons from their being.

Cue terror and hilarity. -- Anon Guest

[AN: My favourite trope!]

"No, no, Human Jan. You do not check that your weapons are operational. You check them in. For safety and safekeeping."

"Right," said Human Jan. "Nobody has weapons, nobody can harm anyone. That's the theory, right?"

"That is the practice," sighed

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Challenge #01982-E158: Sufficient Motivation

“You can still save the world.”

“I could,” grinned the human, “if I wanted to.” Behind them, the Capital burned.

“But you won’t.” My voice was more hoarse than I’d ever heard it, and I could taste the bitterness of my own blood running down my cheek.

The human’s “shrug” was silhouetted by the flames.

“Convince me.” -- Anon Guest

What motivated a human? Greed? No. This human was already profiting from the current course of events. Events that

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Challenge #01981-E157: One Educational Day on a Strange New World

Due to the dangerous and rather... peculiar circumstances of the mission, all crew members were assigned a personal “guardian human”.

Your human seems to hate you. At least if their glare and “sarcasm” is anything to go off of. You’ve already tried all the suggested bonding methods but you’re certain that she wouldn’t hesitate to leave you (to die! On that gods-forsaken planet!) if given the chance.

But then the storm came. -- Anon Guest

Edge Territory Planetary Survey,

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Challenge #01980-E156: Friends From the Fringe

Having grown up together in the intergalactic community equivalent of an extremely isolated orphanage, you are very confused as to why everyone seems to be terrified of your best-friend-turned-basically-sibling-because-years-of-social-isolation-will-do-that-to-you. I mean, sure. She certainly has some weird habits and ways of showing affection, and can be rather unaware of her strength at times, but she’s also the nicest, quietest, most loving and peaceful sentient you’ve ever met. So why do all the scary, known-to-be-killers species hiding from her in fear?

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Challenge #01957-E133: If it Works...

person one: human do you have a plan?

person 2 : yes

p1: a good one?

p2: a TERRIBLE PLAN! -- Anon Guest

G'roz stared at the human. "How can you have a plan that is terrible? Do you not say that a plan that works cannot be terrible."

Human Steve sighed and said, "It's terrible in that you'll find it upsetting, stressful, and with a high danger potential."

And it was telling how long G'roz had been around humans, because ze said,

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Challenge #01956-E132: Impressive, But...

"Hmm... I'm impressed."

"I/We thought you'd like it."

"I said I was impressed, not that I like it." -- TheDragonsFlame

There are certain things that were just... impressive. A cellar full of drunk middle-schoolers chanting Fuck da police whilst a policeman is present. Singing, This is me giving a shit, in front of a man who has the power of life and death over you after he has just attempted to insult you. Staging a resistance against a superior force, alone,

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