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Childcare

A 39-post collection

Challenge #02851-G294: Three Whacks With a Wet Noodle

Deathworlder parents mete out appropriate punishments to misbehaving deathworlder children. Chastisement to non-deathworlders is often much lighter, even if handed out by the same caregivers, and for good reason.

Human parent to human children: "Present butts!" (brandishes foam bat)

Human parent to non-human children: "I'm very disappointed in you" (pins children with The Look)

All children: "Wow, I got off easy compared to the other group" -- Anon Guest

[AN(&PSA): DO NOT BEAT YOUR CHILDREN FOR FLAKK'S SAKE! That is abuse and there are other ways to educate your kids on the right ways to behave. InB4 "I got hit as a kid and I'm fine" - no, you are not. You think it's okay to hit kids]

Managing misbehaviour has many faces. Greater Deregulations across known space have entire manuals covering all the details of child misbehaviour and the tortures that were the "appropriate" response according to the administration. As is always the case with Greater Deregulations, there are factions rebelling against these guides for being "too soft" and part of a "nanny state" whilst campaigning to be as violent as they like so long as murder isn't involved.

Greater Deregulations are almost unanimously civilisations in which needing medical care is a criminal offense. Or at least, it's a criminal offense for those unable to afford it. It's best not to use their example when raising a young cogniscent.

Some Humans from the Edge are hardly any better, but they are at least working on more sympathetic methods of encouraging proper behaviour in the young surrounding them. When dealing with Edge Humans on a ship that also has young, it is advisable to also have a Registered Carer in the same room. It was only an accident of circumstance that prevented Carer Greix from interfering with Human Pam's idea of educational chastisement.

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Challenge #02768-G211: Disturbing Deathworlder Deeds

Ki'it thought ze was ready. Ze had survived Human Kev's "oops"es, learned to anticipate Human Lin's "I know what I did wrong!"s, and even managed to halve zer dosage of calming medication after a half dozen of Human Ren's "uh-oh..."s.

This, however, was zer introduction to the dreaded, "Wheeeee!!!! Again!" -- Anon Guest

[AN: You are of course free to use any gender-neutral pronouns you love in prompts... it's just that I cannot conjugate anything else than ze/hir.

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Challenge #02767-G210: The Problem With Pib

More Human Pib, please. -- Escla

[AN: Referencing this thing BTW ]

Havenworlders were on edge, some were seeking out places to hide. Some were seeking out places where something might be hiding. The entire crew of the Jaunty Merchant were operating under a Code Giggle.

Human Pib had escaped.

Humans Orgo and Lun were checking their entire quarters, and every nook and cranny therein. They were doing this for the fiftieth time since Human Pib had "turned up missing". The fact that

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Challenge #02712-G155: But I Want It

Everyone's heard of the Terrible Twos. Well, everyone who's familiar with raising human infants. A piece of information that's been surprisingly slow to make its way around, though, is that those years are only so terrible because the little ones have wants and needs and thoughts that they don't know how to communicate; a combination of not being exposed to the words for what they feel and having tongues too big for their mouths, making it near impossible to articulate the words

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Challenge #02680-G123: Small, Cute, and Terrifying

Doctor: Human, you need to take it easy. Rest. Don't do anything strenuous for the next week.

Human: Alright, I'll stay at home and watch the kids.

Doctor: From what I know of human young, that is strenuous. -- Escla

[AN: Pffffft...]

The Humans had a saying for everything. Some have been adjusted slightly to be more inclusive, but the relevant one in this time and space was, No being is an island. Perhaps, with an added dash of, It takes a

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Challenge #02519-F329: For the Greater Good

Several Enforcers of Pax Humanis teamed up and took down a pirate's ship. They were tearing the ship apart from the inside-out when one hears crying in one of the cargo holds. Tearing the hold's doors off, they find dozens of children, human and haven-worlder, locked in cages with price tags already printed on the tops of them. Now they have children to care for, and the potential buyers? Were about to get a lesson in what it meant to mess with

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Challenge #02241-F051: Courage Pour L'enfents

There is no living creature more dangerous than a mother wanting to protect children. Even if the mother is an Havenworlder. -- Anon Guest

The UFTP vessel Vengeance tried their best to make it to the Havenworld Yannomar in time. They had pushed everything to the limit, including the Human crew. They had hoped to make it in time to save lives, and found scenes of devastation instead. Too late. The Konthar had already struck, and apparently left the southern continents in

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Challenge #02234-F044: Incidental Hazards

Young children like to lounge on people, caregivers and companions alike. Do other species deal with this? -- Anon Guest

There is an instinct almost universal to the young of any given species. Stay close to your caregiver. Once able to move about free of the nest/clutch/creche/pouch, the caregiver is still a bastion of protection, font of education, and primary source of emotional resilience. In species with communal childrearing, any older member of the species will do.

Which was

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Challenge #02233-F043: Greatest Responsibility

What would an intergalactic nursery look like? -- Anon Guest

Multi-species infant care is a fascinating workplace to begin with. For each species, there are separate demands beyond the standards of clean, warm, and comfortable. There are some general rules, like mammals do best when fed on their parental secretions. Reptilian life forms, for instance, get essential gut bacteria from their parentals' regurgitations. Some, like Humans, thrive with the assistance of gentle physical contact. Others are too frail to be disturbed until

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