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Amalgam Universe

A 2290-post collection

Challenge #01549-D088: Reminiscing

How do you know I was cursing at you back then, love? You didn't speak my language yet, and I doubt you remember exactly what I said. For all you know I was paying you lots of loud, angry compliments. -grin- -- RecklessPrudence

"You forget," said Pal. "My livesuit was recording everything. I got a full translation in time, and you were cursing me out for everything under the sky."

T'tin was taken aback. "You knew what I was calling you, and you were still..."

"Attracted to you. Yes. Love is many things, and none of them are logical. Especially when humans are involved. You will note, however, I didn't start any romantic displays until well after you started liking me back."

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Challenge #01548-D087: The Good Word

We all know "Abracadabra," or, "Hocus Pocus," and sometimes, "Just Like That! Just Like That!" Then of course there's, "Please," "Excuse Me," and, "Thank You," which might stop you getting hit by someone. -- Knitnan

There was one door in the Vault that had not been opened. The SPOEns had been at it for almost a year. And it wasn't often that Shayde took her Ambassadorial Yacht anywhere at all, because she didn't like to travel without Rael by her side. And

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Challenge #01547-D086: Custom Made Babies

"No matter what side of the argument you are on, you always find people on your side that you wish were on the other." -- RecklessPrudence

"All I'm saying is that a certain amount of strengths are needed in the human genetic structure," argued Doctor Vardian. "My plan was to eliminate genetic disorders. Not... what has happened."

"Purity is more important than anything else," shouted the skinhead in the gallery. "We need to separate ourselves from the filth that has come to

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Challenge #01543-D082: No More Tea!

"What are They doing here?" he pointed to a pile of colourful objects.

"Oh, the Tea Cosies, we find them very handy in the Experimental Maths Lab."

Kudos for referencing The Goodies, "I'm a Tea pot! I'm a Tea pot" meltdowns. -- Anon Guest

"People actually go mad and think they're tea pots?" said Kerl. "That happens?"

"Not... quite," allowed Mars, who was the head of the department. "Have you any understanding of five-dimensional math?"

"I don't think five people alive have

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Challenge #01540-D079: What Do You Mean, 'Mostly Harmless'?

Before we made contact, humans were considered a myth, the Galactic Governments greatest hoax. No one species could possibly be THAT insane.

It's very stressful for the rest of the Galaxy when they discover humans are indeed real, and just as insane as they'd heard. -- Anon Guest

Everyone in the Galactic Alliance knew the stories that spacers told of humans. Near misses. Close encounters. Abductions. Scouts told stories of dead worlds where relics of these peculiar, hairless, bipedal mammals had once

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Challenge #01539-D078: Strangely Met

The world's reaction when a ship looking a lot like a vaguely aerodynamic brick lands at Cape Canaveral, looking for some fresh fruit & veg ("Reconstituted is good, but fresh is always better"), a top-up on hydrogen for their fusion reactor ("Haven't seen a depot for twelve jumps, and my magscoop's on the blink again - old damage from some pirates, probably should replace it"), a repair tech for said magscoop ("Got anyone qualified in Grade As? It's a Lurrkon Class Three,

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Challenge #01537-D076: No Place Like It

It was a Trucker's Drinking Hole, beer on tap and lachrymose songs on the Juke Box. It didn't matter that 16 wheelers were replaced by space haulers, some things never changed. -- Anon Guest

After months of monotony, hauling whatever the cargo was, even an AI would crave variety from the humdrum. And this place was the one-stop shop. Inebriants for those on rest cycle. Stimulants for those just stopping by. The inevitable tones of Cryin' Joe Bardnaw on the jukebox, jukebox

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Challenge #01535-D074: Action and Consequence

There is a minor but critical distinction between being right and being not wrong. -- RecklessPrudence

Someone had graffitied a museum's promotional poster. The poster, being about a dinosaur exhibit, featured the ever-popular T-Rex. The graffito read, He's a chicken, I tell you! A giant chicken![1]

There was no need to arrest the offending graffiti artist because the local paleontological fans had already corralled them and were having a Well-Actually contest. Lyr hung back and observed, just in case things got

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Challenge #01533-D072: Sufficiently Confusing Circuitry

The Magic/More Magic switch. Details here. -- RecklessPrudence

Rael, fresh into independant JOATing, stared at the switch on the homebrew cabinet. A human had to have made this. The pencilled annotation on the toggle switch had two options. Magic and More Magic. Experimentally, he flipped the switch to More Magic and rebooted the kludge of a machine.

It worked perfectly.

Rael was not content to receive a handful of Seconds for this much work, and took the outer casing off to

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Challenge #01530-D069: Wit of the Ages

Stuff found written on walls. -- Knitnan

Corridor 3278B had been marked as a Paradox Hazard by the local representatives of the AI Alliance, thus causing something of a traffic snarl in the adjacent byways. Since she was in the neighbourhood, Officer Lyr Marken investigated, reading everything there that was still legible.

She found it easily. Beautiful, artistic script that read, Everyone writes on walls except me!

Lyr instantly went for the first suspect, dialling up Ambassador Shayde's personal comms. "Ambassador Shayde

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Challenge #01529-D068: Crisis in the Wee Small Hours

You'd be surprised who you find in your family tree. -- Knitnan

Rael had not expected his genes to turn up in any of the current series of released Faiize infants. The one currently in its relaxation tank was, according to the gene scan, twenty-five percent his. Kint, the primary genetic contributor, had a whopping sixty-three percent of his personal genome involved.

There was a small community of sudden parentals, lost without a manual, working out how to parent a Faiize without

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Challenge #01526-D065: Goods and Services

Oh fuck that noise, screw that sound, hump that harmonic, bang that bass, fornicate with that frequency and fuck me! -- RecklessPrudence

In all of Galactic Society, the most alarming feature to most human societies is the simple fact that sex work and mental therapy have homogenised into a harmonious whole. Humans have had an interesting relationship with the mechanics of their own reproduction and, despite some centuries af adjustment, are still hung up about it.

Case in point, most of the

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Challenge #01525-D064: A Powerful Talisman

Call it what you will, Linus, Blankie, Comfort Rug. A square or rectangle of worked fibre, knitted, crocheted out of bits of yarn something soft and warm to hang on to in times of stress. -- Knitnan

"Honestly, Farraq, this is the slowest evacuation in the known universe."

"Sorry, boss," the human had something colourful bundled under one arm. "Can't leave anywhere without my Snoog."

P'treth boggled at the human merc as they writhed their way through an airlock made for a

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Challenge #01523-D062: A Grievous Mistake

Matters have left "pear-shaped" and have escalated to the eldritch topographies of a taco warped through a tesseract. -- RecklessPrudence

"I regret to inform Her Majestrix that matters have gone... er... pear-shaped."

The seneschal glared down hir nose at Brekkis. " Adjudant Brekkis... Matters have left "pear-shaped" and have escalated to the eldritch topographies of a taco warped through a tesseract. Matters are so beyond "pear-shaped" that we've had to hire human mercenaries, Brekkis. And further... the human mercenaries have captured some of

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Challenge #01522-D061: With a Knack for Mimicry

http://marlynnofmany.tumblr.com/post/156605690661

Aliens that do not understand how well humans can mimic some noises. -- Gallifreya

When headed into uncharted, or barely charted territory, when facing danger, it is best to have at least one human aboard your ship. Yes, they are frightening deathworlders, but they also understand this and endeavour to be less frightening so they can pack-bond with you. They are also, and the K'veth are discovering, prone to annoying pranks.

Bob could impersonate any noise

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