Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Romance springs up between the newbie medical examiner and the girl who runs a crime scene cleanup company (female/female pairing)

First crime scene. Ever. Nobody else had to know this. Just walk like you own the place. Act like you belong. Check out the corpse, note any significant details and toddle on back to the office. No big deal.

Alice thusly walked with confidence until she encountered the first thing nobody told her.

Death has a smell.

The bodies in anatomy and dissection classes were sanitized. They had the subtle odor of death, because nobody can really stop it. This was a full on reek, with all the nastiness associated with subsequent decay and noisome fluids.

It was so horrible that it almost qualified as toxic.

Alice swallowed her rising gorge, mentally running through the gamut of things to do when one doesn’t want to be seen throwing up in front of one’s co-workers.

“First day?”

Her blush struggled with the fact that all her blood was rushing to her digestive system. “…‘es…”

“Try this.” A white-gloved hand offered a pot of what appeared to be vaseline, but held a different odor entirely. One from Alice’s own childhood.

“Vick’s Vaporub?”

“Stick a little under your nose. Overwhelms the senses.” The speaker offering the pot was short and entirely shrouded in what Alice thought of as street-available hasmat gear. White overalls with an elastic hood. Rubber boots and latex gloves. Industrial filter mask. Safety goggles.

“Is the scene hazardous?” Alice took a small glob and discretely applied it.

“No, this is my work uniform. Cordelia Knight. Forensic cleaning services.”

“Alice Daye. Medical Examiner. I thought you guys turned up… after.”

“There’s a first time for everything,” said Ms Knight. “My client hired me to clean and refurbish a place he’d inherited. Unfortunately, he hadn’t inspected it first. The former occupant was still there.”

Alice put on her own mask, gloves and booties, whipping her hair into the net she carried for the purpose. The less of herself that got into a scene, the better. “You’re already dressed for the occasion, Ms Knight. Would you walk me through your… procedures?”

The eyes underneath the safety goggles smiled. Alex followed her on the tour. “We document everything in my line of work. I already gave Lieutenant Bothari my camera. Every photo is time and date stamped. As you can see, I thought this was just another hoarder’s cave.”

One side of the room was literally stacked floor to ceiling with periodicals. Newspapers and magazines. Sorted by issue title. The other half was noticeably bare, the furniture pushed neatly into one corner, and a sad array of garbage bags lined up by the inside door. Discoloration on the carpet clearly indicated where each piece had been prior to Knight’s work.

“We’re not obligated to report dead animals,” said Knight. “I found the blood trail and investigated, just in case, and found the bodies in the upstairs bedroom.”

Alice followed the yellow plastic markers, noting the medium-velocity spatter as she passed, careful not to tread on any of it, or upset the unstable-looking piles of random miscellany that lined every passage, leaving just enough space for one human to pass.

One path lead to the bathroom, upstairs, and the other lead to the bedroom. Neither were free from towers of packrattus. Alice took her recorder out and began dictating details.

“Two decedents, apparently one male, one female. Male in kneeling position at foot of bed, female spreadeagled on the bed.” Alice edged closer until she was on the very borderlines. “Both bodies show signs of advanced decomp, insect and rodent activity… pistol located near female’s right hand… and cause of death looks to be stabbing. I can see at least five wounds, three defensive.” She tried to move the male’s body. “Male has a knife in his lap. No immediately evident trauma, large red-brown stain under the posterior… tear in the crotch of the pants?”

“He stabbed her and she shot him in the nuts,” said Knight. “Who says romance is dead?”

“I can’t make calls like that until after a thorough forensic examination,” said Alice. She gingerly searched the pockets on the male. “No ID. Judging by the absence of shoes on both of them, they lived here. I’d say document, bag and tag… These two can come to the office.”

Knight started backing out of the labyrinth of collection. “I know this is probably the wrong time to ask, but… do you want to go get a coffee or something while your minions deal with this mess? I had a whole week booked on this place, and now…” an expressive shrug.

Alice thought about this as she picked her way back to uncluttered air and the outside world. God, it was good to swing her elbows again. “Coffee sounds lovely.”

Then Cordelia took her headgear off, and Alice knew her heart would never be her own again. Skin like dark chocolate. Lips full and delectable. Effortless hair sculpted to perfection in a style both practical and elegant.

The blush returned and Alice didn’t care. “Very lovely indeed.”

"Wombats. Why is it always wombats?"

(#00003)

Ax'and'l stared at the brown furry hills with legs. They were everywhere. “These are wombats.” He did not understand his human companion’s fear. They weren’t doing anything much at all.

“Yes!”

“And we’ve known each other for… ten years?”

“Yes!” Hwell was still trying to climb the walls.

“Then for ten years it hasn’t been always wombats.” Ax'and'l scanned them. “And

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Challenge #00002: Toad V Spiderman

Toad (either Evo or movieverse) meets Spiderman. Hilarity and quipping ensue?

I can not decide which Toad to use.

Round 1: Evo-Toad V Spiderman

“Where you goin’, lady? Don'chu know this street ain’t public property?”

Ah, the catch-cry of the lesser soon-to-be-very-bruised looser. Peter swung in, landing on a nearby roof and hustled down a handy wall.

Three punks in similar bargain-basement street gang wear were moving in on a rather elongated lady burdened with shopping.

“

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 14

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Fourteen: Stimulus and Response

  The minute Ms Rosa was out of earshot, Kitty voiced her thoughts. "Okay, that was like, *weird*… What’d she say to you, Kurt?“

  Kurt was still hanging on to her sweater like a drowning man clutching at straws. He was shaking like a leaf and trying to control rapid breathing while staring straight ahead.

  _Oh crud._ He was looking mighty unstable, like a bunch of

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Challenge #00001: Sara with a Manual while on Ordeal

 geekhyena answered: Have you read Diane Duane’s work? If so, Sara with a Manual while on Ordeal.

I am not remotely familiar with Duane. I should pick her up, one of these days. Nevertheless, I shall attempt this with my own reality(s).

Fiction ho!

Manual Ordeal

“So…” Hank drawled. “A few questions…”

“Do keep them brief.” Sara turned a page, frowning. It was written in two languages by someone who barely understood

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sevenpoints: iidelirium: captainragtag: hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women to transfer their pregnancies to men...

sevenpoints:

iidelirium:

captainragtag:

hey what if someone invented a machine that allowed women to transfer their pregnancies to men and then the government passed a law that if a woman didn’t want to have a baby the biological father was required to carry it how fast do you think birth control would stop being an issue

BEST NIGHTBLOG POST EVER

“IT’S UNETHICAL TO FORCE PEOPLE TO CARRY A BABY!!!!” MEN SHOUT

“NO FUCKING SHIT!!!!” WOMEN REPLY

…my God. It&

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Challenge me?

Posting fanfic isn’t going to help me be a better writer [New year’s resolution#1: Work to improve myself] but it is going to attract my old fans, which means more readers. I need readers :)

So. Along side the fanficcery that promises to become a long-standing tradition in this blog [over 100 fanfics, remember?] I am going to accept challenges from my audience.

Send me a springboard. A favourite phrase, a title of some media you love, ask

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scificity: Never stops to be thankedhttp://scificity.tumblr.com [Reblogging to show MeMum] The OP has not only won an internet, and...

scificity:

Never stops to be thanked
http://scificity.tumblr.com

[Reblogging to show MeMum]

The OP has not only won an internet, and unlimited cookies, but also the dubious honour of me nicking their idea wholesale for an impending fanfic.

…yay…

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 13

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Thirteen: Close Calls

  Jean had put herself on casual scan mode. She could deal with the subsequent headache later. People’s safety was at stake. Most of what she got was the susurrations of several hundred teenage minds overloading on hormones.

  She narrowed her range to about eight feet. Just to save her head from overloading on variations of, “Why doesn’t X notice me?”

  It was still a cacophony.

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 12

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Twelve: Guarding Broken Treasure

  Kurt picked at his dinner and tried to ignore the fact that his friends had thrown up an invisible wall around him. So Fight had released the Monster on purpose. That was something of a relief. He could have a quiet word to Fight about maintaining control and not killing people, even predators.

  Even if they *were* going to hurt someone.

  If he, the Archivist, and the Perfectionist ganged up

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 11

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Eleven: Blades of Memory

  Kurti had no reason to fear anyone from the troupe. They were all Romani together. One fire was pretty much the same as another and there was a passing chance that someone might have a new story. To his mind, there was no difference between the Heirelgart Romani, and the Statleindorf Romani.

  Even though one group welcomed Centaurs amongst them, and the other did not.

  Thus Kurti, age four, walked

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Fanfic Time: Don't Pity Me part 10

Very much NSFW fic continued from yesterday:

Fracture Ten: Desire

  “I wanna show you you don’t have to settle for scoring with the freakshow. I mean, sure, he’s enough to satisfy *Tabby*, but she’s a bit of a whore. You’re better than wanting *that*, you know?”

  “Are you like, demented or *what*? What are you like, *talking* about?”

  He lit a cigarette. “Come on, Kitty. I’m not

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