Heresy is Delicious. Don’t believe me? Put Kosher mustard on a ham and cheese sandwich and find out for yourself!
“So… you decided to open a restaurant on the greater thoroughfare of the business district.”
“That is correct,” said the lizard.
“All the forms and paperwork are correct… but you also decided to sell foods ordinarily under social and religious restrictions.”
“That is also correct. Cogniscent Shayde performed the idea in public.”
“Open Mic Night at the Tunnel Cafe?” said the technical-human in question. “I was doin’ a stand-up routine…”
Sherlock glared at her. “We’ve spoken before about your ‘heresy is delicious’ chain of thought.”
“I even had a wee card up. 'Don’t take anythin’ the human says seriously’. Just in case they missed the whole point o’ stand up.”
“Yes, well after some research and legal consultation–”
Sherlock groaned in anticipation.
“–I came to the conclusion that a wide variety of taboos are, in fact, delicious. Hence, heretical foods.”
“Including,” Sherlock consulted his info-stream. “Cultured cogniscent flesh.”
“From willing donors!” The lizard put up hir hands in protest. “It’s all certified and sealed.”
“You do know that there are planets who have recently reformed from cogniphagy,” said Sherlock. “The eating of cogniscent life forms is illegal.”
“Er. Actually. The law states that killing a cogniscent for the purposes of eating them is illegal. No death is involved in my cultured meat. You can still talk to all my donors. I was completely transparent.”
“And then there’s the matter of Brav'nu…” Sherlock maintained his iron glare. “Citizens there believe that sharing the flesh of a passed loved one is a form of hand-me-down immortality, as well as remembrance. How many Brav'nu citizens came to you seeking a way to cheat their spiritual system?”
“I’m aware of their theology, sir,” said the lizard. “Once I explained the details, they lost interest.”
Sherlock sighed. “I have hundreds of Ambassadors up in arms because their fellows from home are up in arms about your menu. There is nothing, strictly speaking, illegal about the food. And, unfortunately, you are well within your rights to maintain your restaurant.”
“Thank you.”
“However, I am also obligated to remind all visitors that it is also well within their rights to refuse to patronise your business.”
Now the reptilian face fell. “Oh…”
“Next time,” said Shayde, “Pay attention to the wee card.”
[Muse food remaining: 45. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]
