Writing

A 317-post collection

Challenge #00625 - A260: Original Meaning

Saying something in all earnestness, not realising that it’s been twisted far from what the words actually _mean_ by scum and then used as a warning sign by people more socially aware than you, and that you just marked yourself as one of those scum. All because you were using the words as they were meant to be used.

[TW: rape]

Sometimes, there’s a big problem with being a card-carrying member of SPOEn - The Society for the Preservation of Original English. One of those problems was that you could only really talk to other members of SPOEn, all of whom had different ideas about what Original English was.

“I'faith, I have a trial most vex’d,” said Old William. “In where to take my debate next.”

“That’s a nice sentiment,” said Paul. Practiced listeners could tell which ‘nice’ he meant. This time, it was the one that indicated a lack of intelligence.

“Ugh, stop raping the conversation, Will… You’re totes gainax.” The young girl known only as Pong didn’t even look up from her replica vintage gaming device.

“Shut thy meat-hole for making noise, thy conversation lacketh poise!”

And then there were moments like this, when all you wanted to do was leave the room. Preferably, running and screaming.

[Muse food remaining: 16. Submit a promptAsk a questionBuy my stories!]

Challenge #00624 - A259: Slippery Slope

The uselessness of the “reassurance”, which fortunately I’ve only ever seen in fiction, that ‘You know you’re not evil by the fact that you still worry about your morality’. You could quite easily not realise that you’ve already sunk to new depths of depravity, and still worry about it.

[AN: I almost deleted this because of its similarity to yesterday’s prompt. PLEASE space out your similar prompts with other muse fuel. Thanks.]

“It’s for

Read more »

Challenge #00623 - A258: What Do You Mean, 'Going'?

The uselessness of the “reassurance”, which I’ve had given to me in real life, that ‘You know you’re not insane by the fact that you still worry about your sanity’. You could quite easily not realise that you’re currently insane, and still worry about it.

“You said you loved me,” sang Annie Lennox, “Or were you just being kiiiind… Or am I losing my mind?”

“Good question, Annie,” I murmured. They’d said

Read more »

Challenge #00622 - A257: Simple Exposition

Constant exposure to the internet has done terrible things to their sanity.

Trel peeked through the narrow observation window. Inside was a bedlam consisting of pale human males attempting to argue with themselves.

“WOMAN!” shrieked one.

Crap.

They’d seen her!

She retreated to the safety of her guide, a robot that was neither apparently male nor female.

The humans inside the enclosure alternately cajoled her for sex and demanded she prove her worth by answering confrontational trivia questions.

Some

Read more »

Challenge #00621 - A256: Spitballing

I am actually serious here, insofar as one can have a serious discussion about the cost/benefit analysis of destroying the universe.

“There’s only really a benefit if you have a working means to exit the universe, otherwise you destroy yourself in the process.” Paua’tul’xand’l side-eyed her human companion. “You haven’t been experimenting with methods of leaving the universe, have you?”

“I promise I’m not working on it.” Eiridd held

Read more »

Challenge #00620 - A255: Know Your Source

Step 1: Take your left hand or grasping appendage.

Step 2: Reach your left hand or grasping appendage and move it so it is behind you.

Step 3: Lower your left hand or grasping appendage so that it is perpendicular to your pelvis.

Step 4: Move your left hand or grasping appendage towards your body, so that it contacts the rear of your pelvis.

Step 5: Grasp the rear of your pelvis.

Step 6: Lift.

Congratulations, you are now flying by the

Read more »

Challenge #00619 - A254: A Cunning Plan...

“Don’t worry. It’ll all go according to plan,” I reassured her that my plan was flawless.

Now I just needed to come up with one.

Rule one of coming up with a plan: work with what you’ve got. In this case, two rubber bands and a paperclip, and the clothes she stood up in if she was really that desperate.

Rule two: The environment is also what you’ve got. Nigh-seamless corridors made out of

Read more »

Project Hieroglyph

Project Hieroglyph

Guess what I just joined?

I figure it’s a good way to discuss Science Fiction in general, mine in particular, and how to step up my game without rebuilding my universe in the process.

Amalgam is optimistic. Humans made it off the planet. Humans managed to reach a point where their differences are interesting. In brief - black and white teamed up against green ;)

…it’s just that I have a horrible dystopia as the feature

Read more »

Challenge #00618 - A253: Anything That Can Go Wrong...

Farewell. Please say hello to Murphy when he clobbers you.

Those had been her last words to the human. They should have been the last words she ever spoke to the insane mammal.

Yet there it was. Hale and hearty. Enjoying a brew with the other Galactics in a seedy bar that also boasted Unsuitable Food on the menu.

“How?” she demanded. “How did you survive? I barely made it out of that melee with my hide intact!”

Read more »

Challenge #00617 - A252: Stick to the Plan

“This is according to your plan?”
“Yes.”
“What kind of plan was that?”
“The plan was -Do not die.- All is still going according to plan… barely.”

“This is why,” raged Krel over the gunfire aimed in their general direction. “This is why I never get involved with humans!”

“Awright,” admitted Jude. “This is something of a tight spot.”

“TIGHT? We’re cornered

Read more »

Challenge #00616 - A251: Adventuring with humans

Maybe, maybe not. After all his plan IS flawless after all.

He doesn’t have a plan at all so there can’t be any flaws in it.

“That’s a plan?” yawped the Princess. “How can the human’s plans possibly have a complete success rate?

"That’s the thing, it isn’t a plan,” explained Ax'and'l. “It’s more a succession of goals. You’ve heard the old

Read more »

Challenge #00615 - A250: A Lesson For Humans

Don’t want to have people commenting your sudden bout of suicidal stupidy by taunting murphy?

How about not taunt murphy?

[AN: I did leave instructions on the Submissions box to only pick up to three tags. Otherwise I have to whittle your collection of tags down to three so I can add my own tags. Please remember this when picking tags for your prompts.]

This media was not only old, but it had been played to the point of nearing uselessness

Read more »

Challenge #00614 - A249: Explaining Business

Don’t worry. He comes up with crazy ideas, but they’re so crazy they actually work half the time.

“…hey!” said exhibit A, aka Hwell Barrow. “I’ll have you know I have a ninety-eight percent success rate.”

“It’s the two percent that bites my tail,” Ax'and'l managed through gritted teeth. “And we agreed that there would be no bickering in front of potential clients.”

“If we agreed

Read more »

Challenge #00613 - A248: The Human Argument

And, isn’t sanity really just a one-trick pony anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking, but when you’re good and crazy, oooh, oooh, oooh, the sky is the limit!”

“Awright. Yes. Humans as a race are kinda nuts,” Hwell admitted. “There’s lots of things I can’t immediately explain.”

“And your individual susceptibility to Silly Season,” added Ax'and'l. “What evolutionary advantage is there on picking up

Read more »

Challenge #00612 - A247: Universal Nevers

Quite honestly, you could strap those engines to just about anything and it could make escape velocity.

That’s what the man had said when he’d sold them the refurbished hulk for an amazingly cheap price. He’d said not to turn the gravity on until they were at least two hundred clicks on their way.

What he’d neglected to mention was that any motor can achieve escape velocity if used in a cumulative fashion. Especially

Read more »