Trust Me I Regret It Already

A 2-post collection

Sunday, Day 0, Haha I'm Going to Regret This

There's four new cases and a total of twenty-four cases active. All foreign imports and secured in quarantine, and my inclination to go anywhere and do anything declines as the number goes up.

And now the shenanigans I was neck-deep in right up until the wee small hours of this morning:

  1. Warned too long ago that there was a party on and that I was expected to gather gift(s)
  2. Given no further input despite telling Beloved plainly that (a) I was going to forget without a countdown and (b) I would need their assistance
  3. Should have been no surprise that me and my negligible relationship with time resulted in us doing a last-instant shopping trip the morning of
  4. Spent pretty much all day at said party
  5. Also stopped and dropped off Capt S. on the way home
  6. Which resulted in the Tesla needing a charge while there, just enough to get us to the Supercharger station
  7. Which is in the middle of Brisbane Proper1
  8. And there were already two other Teslas at the only two open stations
  9. And one in the queue
  10. So it was WELL close to midnight by the time we actually got home
  11. Oh well, thinks I, I shall just stay awake and catch Toasty's stream
  12. Toasty cancelled their stream fml

Of such little things, an early tale for you is made.

And now the news:

  • Porn blamed for the sexism and rape culture in schools -_-
  • New OLED TV indestinguishable from art, say people paid to say that
  • They finally jailed a grown-arse teacher for having sex with one of her teen students
  • 5YO Thai twins forced to marry owing to parental superstitions
  • John McAffee indicted in fraud. Maybe that means we can get Microsquish to remove the antivirus virus from our compys at last
  • Coles is selling pick'n'mix pet food. I give it three weeks before someone's little Maqayleigheigh tries to eat some and Mum sues

And now - storytime. And then I sleep for the rest of today.

  1. Brisbane improper is either Fortitude Valley or the surrounding suburbia that is not at all the CBD. Dependent entirely on your point of view.

Bluh.

I am tired.

I am tired because my best beloved decided that the best of all possible times to play Halo with a younger sibling was 3A-fucking-M whilst I was in the next room trying to simultaneously recover from a throat-scarring lurgi and y'know - SLEEP.

But that’s not the important bit.

The important bit is that, in the throes of insomnia, I have come up with possibly the most offensive two-line joke in the history of two-line jokes.

And

Read more »