Submission

A 900-post collection

Challenge #00918-B187: Hidden Treasure

Going to the antiques roadshow and finding out the thing you meant to bring is junk… but what’s that hiding in the tissue paper? That little piece of junk that fell in the box is actually…

“But it’s been in my family for generations. My great-great-great-great-great grandmother paid three guineas for it.”

“I’m sorry, but your great-great-great-great-great grandmother was duped. This is a genuine fake. It was forged at the time she purchased it. See this shade of green? You just couldn’t get that shade of green in Malasian pottery at that time.” The appraiser began  rearranging the paper around it. “Some collectors will buy a genuine fake of this era, but… I wouldn’t hold my hopes up.”

A clatter as a little gewgaw fell from the newsprint.

“Oh hello,” said the appraiser. It looked like old bronze. The jewellery inside the fining was a cameo portrait in stone.

“Oh that? That’s just some carved Jasper. It usually winds up in the kid’s jewellery.”

The appraiser started giggling. “Do you know who this is a cameo of?”

Shrug. “Some girl?”

“This is a cameo of the princess Elisabeth Tudor. Collectors would go bonkers just to touch this. Someone gave it a lacquer coat between now and the time it was made. That’s what makes the gold look like bronze. They might have done so to disguise its value… and I can see it’s been effective. Semi-precious gemstones, especially layered ones like jasper, were common media for cameos like this. You get this cleaned and you could be looking at a half a million, easy. Better keep it out of the toy cupboard, eh?”

The woman who had brought in the china vase had fainted.

“…oops…”

[Muse food remaining: 11. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Challenge #00917-B186: Hoaders Impossible

A chatty dragon with a hoard full of technically worthless things with amazing stories attached.

“You collect trash,” said the visiting Princess.

“Not… quite,” allowed the Dragon Freasha. “Pick out something. Go ahead. Just -ah- mind where it came from so it can go back?”

It was a very ratty teddy-bear. Much abused and on the verge of falling apart.

“Ah. That belonged to my first princess. Father made me kidnap her. She was four and very scared. I told him

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Challenge #00916-B185: Hoarders Unimaginable

I couldn’t resist.

A Dragon (note capital) being told her hoard is worthless.

“Avaunt, foul beast!”

The Dragon Shashannash groaned as she opened an eye. “I was trying to sleep,” she yawned. “I don’t have any princesses… What do you want?”

The knight seemed a little nonplussed. “I have come to fight for the vast wealth you are draining from my lands… er… foul beast.”

“Enough with the ‘foul beast’ I keep very clean, thank you.” She

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Challenge #00915-B184: Wheeeeeeeeee!

Rolling down a hill is a valid use of your time.

Rael reached the top of the hill. There were not enough sweet treats in the human lexicon to pay for this much ‘just wanderin’ to his mind.

“Fine,” he grumbled. “We’ve reached the top of the hill. Now what?”

“We lie down,” said Shayde.

“For the last time, I am not engaging in extreme haptic communication with you.”

“I’m no’ askin’ ye to,” she said. “We lie down. Then

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Challenge #00914-B183: Cautious Eaters

Some species evolved without certain chemicals in their background, or with them causing no effect. Therefore they never evolved a receptor for it. Meanwhile others had to identify toxins or marker chemicals immediately and are highly sensitive even if it’s unnecessary -ie bitter vegetables -. This leads to nonplussed galactic citizens wondering why the deathworlder took a bite of that boring stuff and immediately gagged or refused it entirely because it smelled like pure evil.

Food unites. Meals shared tend to

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Challenge #00913-B182: The Challenge of Challenging

So capsaicin is dangerous, and even the species that can eat it recreationally recognise the effects as painful. Mint, on the other hand, even in high doses, causes no such thing. (L-Carvone (spearmint) at least appears totally harmless). Safe fun food for everyone?

Humans are insane. No other species makes a game out of painful ingredients in otherwise harmless things. No other species combines schadenfreude and friendship, and expects the friendship to continue.

And no other species can convince otherwise sane cogniscents

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Challenge #00912-B181: Mama Hen-Bear

The adventures of Tyr’ip and her big scary bodyguard mother hens.

(does this make her technically the species ambassador? Not a galactic ambassador I guess since her people are already part of the community and if there was one for every species encounter there’d be billions of them but still)

[Galactic ambassadors generally stand for their native planet and, in the case of low-gravvers and nomadic ship-tribes, habitation construct.]

It had been quite the journey. The humans formed a walking

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In the slightly-paraphrased words of Robert Heinlein...

If need be, a human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, and die gallantly. Specialization of role is for insects, not people.

(#00911-B180)

“Was he serious?” said Rael. “What happened

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Challenge #00910-B179: Origin Story

More of the Unexpectables please.

Find a need, the expression went, fill a need. And there were people, Munashe well knew, who needed a fairy godmother. She and Corinna came up with the idea over wine and badly-colourised old movies and so far… things had been going well.

Munashe’s first job had been making a power outfit for Corinna so that taller people would take her seriously. Corinna wore it, now, with a polished selection of makeup and refined jewellery

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Challenge #00909-B178: Howling Mad

http://thentheresthisspazz.tumblr.com/post/123284811011/mythological-creature-aus#notes

Pick a different one!

[AN: Today’s pick is: “i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn” AU]

The first month, she called an ambulance for me. I was grateful for it. I had no idea what was happening, either. I still didn’t know what was going on in

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Challenge #00908-B177: True Love's Kiss

http://thentheresthisspazz.tumblr.com/post/123284811011/mythological-creature-aus#notes

Pick one!

[AN: I picked “my best friend got turned into a frog and now i’m being the best wingman/woman/person ever by carrying them around to bars and getting hot people to kiss them in hopes of hooking them up with their true love” AU. I also want to do all of these so send in five more ;)]

“So… what’s with the frog?”

“Ah,” Carol sighed. “Um. Her name

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Undeath is... occasionally inconvenient.

Sure, being a lich is incredible - I mean, cast some eldritch black ritual and be transformed into a fearsome sorcerous entity beyond the reach of the grave whose power and skill delves far past that which mortals were ever meant to know, yeah, that’s totally amazing…

…but there’s the small annoyances they don’t mention to you beforehand, like how you can’t enjoy “pleasures of the flesh” like good food or intimate contact anymore, since you’re just

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Challenge #00907-B176: SUO's - Small Useful Objects

A lot of us have a “kit” stuff we cart/tote everywhere, stuff we need. Mothers carry stuff to feed,amuse and cope with the Sprogs. Crafts people carry weird stuff(well I do). So what does a Joat carry? Or pick another character/profession and add kit.

Rael could tell a newbie JOAT. It was the way their limbs trembled
under the weight of the gear in their coats. And the gentle ‘ping’ of
stitching giving way under the stress. He

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Challenge #00906-B175: Change of Afterlife-style

The Horned God is fed up with all these blood sacrifices. It is making such a mess in the nether realms and he has too many goat familiars now. The Horned God demands some claw maintenance and a horn buffing, and then he will listen to your petition. Puny mortal.

“Look,” said the manifestation of the Horned One, Devourer of Flesh, Imbiber of Blood, Craftsman of Nightmares. “Blood’s all well and good, but sometimes… a god craves a little something

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Challenge #00905-B174: Easter Egg

The best kept secret of the jaegermonsters

Jaegermonsters hunt in packs. That much is self-evident. Jaegermonsters are not the brightest candles in the window. That, too, is self-evident.

Lord Palinquest thought he was being clever by separating the invading Jaeger pack in disparate cells in the middle of unique booby-traps in the labyrinth under his castle. He’d even tune in when he was bored to see how they were doing.

What he didn’t know, what none but the most observant

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