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A 253-post collection

Challenge #02433-F243: One More Thing

Do it yourselfers have a problem, "I needa", and after multiple trips to the local hardware store you acquire stuff. Which leads to 'innovative storage'. -- Anon Guest

It starts with a project that should be simple, but you need more than what is present in the allegedly simple kit. The people who put that kit together assumed that you were starting from a certain level of familiarity. So you go out to acquire the missing items of necessity.

Once there, you realise that there's a few items that are actually better than the ones in the kit, and it couldn't hurt to have suchlike for the next time. That's how it starts. Once returned with your new items, the kit's instructions have left out a step, a tool, a piece, and now the race is on to find out what it is. In the process, you discover that the kit is absolute garbage and literally everything in it needs to be replaced with something better because it's all made out of non-standard, unmatchable parts.

If you are phenomenally lucky, the replacement of the kit takes one trip. However, the odds against that are so astronomical that you are more likely to create a new reality by snapping your fingers. After that is finally accomplished, comes finding out that the tools you have are inadequate for the task, and you need to upgrade all of them. Eventually, though, the project is finished, and you can relax.

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Challenge #02431-F241: Elements of Bad Design

The tailbone is virtually useless, a big target near our ass, not to mention the design of our spine is structurally fucked, AND DON'T GET ME STARTED ON THE FOUR WISDOM TEETHS THAT I NEED TO BE SHATTERED AND EXTRACTED. -- Anon Guest

[AN: Don't get me started on my wisdom teeth. That was a horrorshow.]

If there was ever an argument against intelligent design, it is simply found in vestigial portions of anatomy and the troubles they cause. Just for example:

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Challenge #02430-F240: In a Name

I'm one of the fortunate or unfortunate (depending on your perspective) to have two first name, them being S* Kirby. -- Anon Guest

There's just something about having a first name as a last name that gets to people. It's memorable, yes, but also... it can make nametags problematic. You would not believe the number of people who tell me it should be my surname in there or, in non-surname occasions, my given one. Then you get the accusations of being an

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Challenge #02424-F234: Revolution Temporarily Postponed

"Ok look, I haven't eaten anything since this morning, and the meeting was THREE HOURS long, I'm sooooo stressed I just want to play punch something" -- Anon Guest

Is there anything more frustrating than a day that goes nowhere due to circumstances beyond your control? The boss buttonholes you for two hours about inefficiency. The staff meeting drags on as someone in the higher echelons demands a full explanation in small words of the exact, precise, fine details of the problem

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Challenge #02420-F230: Should Have Ordered a Bear Claw

Don't we all love some self-important type throwing a Grade One 'Tanty' - strongly reminiscent of a spoiled 2-year-old on camera. -- Anon Guest

Like all spectacles, this was one best viewed from afar. It was loud, it was violent, it was utterly ridiculous, and the people at ground zero had seen all varieties of nonsense and were therefore relatively unflappable, or just too tired to be bothered with reacting, it was difficult to tell. In person... it was just strange.

To

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Challenge #02419-F229: iStalkU

Of the three main causes for murder "Lust" is the most ignoble and most distressing. What could not be given in Love was stolen, then in fear of reprisal or 'the damn bitch struggled" a Life was taken. -- Anon Guest

Let me tell you about the one I love. They are perfect. Perfect body. Perfect looks. Never a hair out of place. They always smile for me when I go to order my morning fix. I always tip generously. I want

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Challenge #02418-F228: Smile For Me

There three main causes of most murders. "Anger" is one. -- Anon Guest

You know what really pisses me off? The phrase, "You're cute when you're mad." Like all that ever matters about me is the appeal I have to everyone around me. I'm cute. I'm adorable. I'm so pretty, haha, I shouldn't have negative feelings.

Bull. Hockey. I'm a human being, just like them. I have feelings, both positive and negative. I have wants and needs. I make choices... but the

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Challenge #02417-F227: Single White Male, Age Eighteen to Thirty-five

Of the 7 deadly sins, three are responsible for most Murders. I present for your pen, "Greed". -- Anon Guest

There is nothing at all wrong with wanting nice things. Not necessarily the best, mind, but the best is always better than anything less so. I mean, who would rather have a minivan when they could have a porsche or a lamborghini, right? Before you start rolling your eyes at me, I am not one of those spoiled brats who threw a

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Challenge #02414-F224: Livin' in the Fridge

I remember when my roommate raided the fridge, it was horrifying. -- Anon Guest

Let me get one thing straight - when you're riding the poverty line as a student, you will accept anything. Books cost a shit-ton of money. So does rent. So does the internet you need in order to do research. Food is always the biggest thing that gets cost-cut when you're a student. Dumpster diving is big amongst the student crowd. Or it was before the corporations throwing

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Challenge #02413-F223: Forbidden Prize

My soul longs for it, craves for it. I want- no need it! -- Anon Guest

It's always out of reach. Beyond my grasp. Close enough to see. Too far away to touch. Tempting. Always tempting. I want it, I need it, I love it from afar, but I cannot even hope to touch it. It is beyond my means. I know this, yet I try anyway.

There are a thousand plans. Deception and trickery. Argument and debate. Ingenuity and engineering with

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Challenge #02411-F221: Take the Baby Steps

(after an AI with a soft spot for humans somehow terraformed Five Minutes In The Future's Pluto into a 1G habitable world, while keeping it the same size and distance from Sol)

At this point she may as well just terraform the rest of the system. Maybe Luna first. Then Venus. Like a trail of breadcrumbs.

"Come on humans! You know you want to~" -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Happening in a close neighbour to my Amalgam Universe]

Well. Would you look at that?

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Challenge #02410-F220: The Visionary

Personally I thought it was a ludicrous idea, but once again we have been shown to never doubt the power of a mad scientist with a blank chequebook. -- RecklessPrudence

I'm not crazy, as the song says, I'm just a little unwell. Actually, I'm not mad, either, just... vexed. Like the entire world has this illogic to it that I just can not understand ever and it annoys the living snot out of me. Obviously, if we were not in mixed company,

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Challenge #02405-F215: What Wrong For Right

You know, when people do a quick Google search of their dating partner's name, they usually don't get series of international headlines pondering the ramifications of whatever that person happens to have done this time. -- RecklessPrudence

There's pros and cons to dating someone famous. Pro - everyone knows who you are. Con... everyone knows who you are. Alongside the paparazzi getting into your underwear drawer and looking for skid marks - so to speak. It's slightly more interesting when you're dating

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Challenge #02400-F210: From the Ashes

Who comes to the aid of someone marked as "bad"? Where is the villain's hero? -- Anon Guest

Morality is not a binary switch. One does not flip from 'good' to 'evil' or vice versa. There's a sliding scale of evil that moves from refusing to tip your restaurant waitstaff through parking in disabled parking spaces to outright deciding that hungry people need to deserve to eat before one can give them food. After that comes definite evil, like not paying employees

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Challenge #02395-F205: In Search of a Meaning

"Hey, Internutter, what's my story? Where am I and what am I doing here? I would really like to know." -- Anon Guest

Oh, shit. It's one of those. Every author gets them, sooner or later. The character who has to argue with everything, including their author. Fanfiction dot net used to be rife with them back in the day. The fact that it's happening now? After so much time spent honing my wordsmithery? That's embarrassing.

"Hey, I'm talking to you. Pay

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