[AN: I had to do some research to get the basics on this one. Feel free to flame me when I get it wrong]
(#00207)
Emp tried not to sob. This was the fifty-umpth time she’d been hog-tied and thrown into a dank, dark dungeon. Or similarly dungeonesque oubliette to keep her out of the way while the Vil’s did whatever Vil’s usually did during their cunning plans.
Someone else was in here with her.
[The following dialogue has been translated from GagInMouth garble, denoted <thusly>.]
“<Hello?>” Emp managed. “<It’s all right. Help’s bound to be on its way.>”
“<If it’s anything like you, I’d rather pass,>” said the slim figure in the shadows. There was an intermittent grinding noise. “<Those bastards stole my Bo.>”
“<Your Beau? You have someone?>”
“<No, dear, the weapon Bo. Essentially, a big stick.>” Grind grind grind…
“<What is that grinding noise?>”
“<Me. I’m chewing through the gag.>”
“<That’s possible?>” Emp boggled at the shadowy figure.
“<You can theoretically bite through a human finger, the only thing stopping you is your own brain.>” Grind grind grind…
“<Really? I never tried that before…>” She worked the gag further into her mouth so she could chew the ends. Gag was the right word. It was a horrible experience.
“<From the way they were talking, I’d have thought you’d be learning everything there is to know about escapology.>” Grind grind snap! Th-poo. “Oh, that’s better. I go by the code-name Chameleon.“
”<Empowered,>“ said Emp, still chewing on her own gag. It was tough going. If this stranger could do it, so could she. ”<I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’ve heard of you.>“
"You wouldn’t have. I’m not from this dimension.” Squirm squirm squirm. She’d been wriggling for some time, too.
Gnaw gnaw gnaw, “<The vil’s are pretty good with knots. I should know, I get tied up a lot.>”
“I have a friend named Kurt, and he has an uncle Wolfgang who would disagree with you.” Squirm. “Of course it helps (oof) to be (ow) double-jointed.“ Krak snap pop. “HA!” Wriggle! And suddenly she was standing up and striding over. “A little persistence never hurt anyone.“ The stranger was female, but her physique made her read as male.
It wasn’t as though she could hide anything in that abbreviated khaki swimsuit.
Chameleon removed the gag and started working on the knots. “If you’re so awful at being heroic, why do you insist on being a hero.”
“It’s… something I need to do. The suit… it’s self-repairing if I’m confident enough, (ordosomeotherthingsbutIdon’treallyswingthatwayandwejustmet) but it’s so embarrassing…”
“Dear, if I had a body like yours I would not be embarrassed by it.”
“The hypermembrane does give me powers, but it’s really fragile. What does yours do?”
Chameleon grinned and faded out of visibility. The eyes and the smile remained, just like the cheshire cat. “Biomimetic fabric. It blends with me, and it grows with me. There’s the promise of it covering more acreage when I stop growing, but…" she faded back so Emp could see the shrug. “My lineage is tall.“
The ropes loosened. Emp quickly got up and stretched all the kinks out. “Oh! Thank you for that. You have no idea what it’s like to be hog-tied until someone decides you’re worth rescuing.”
“That would suggest you work towards rescuing yourself in future,” said Chameleon. “Or is it your life purpose to be the decorative damsel in distress?“
Emp blushed. “I can’t help it. The suit bonded to me but it really has its limits and I can’t be confident when every flaw shows and—” the sob she fought down bubbled up.
Chameleon’s dark eyes flicked over her, then her green face softened. “It’s all right, dear. I know some tricks that might help…"
*
All the villains were hog-tied. Professionally so, meaning that if they struggled, their bonds grew tighter. Empowered sat, in full costume for a change, on the pile of loot like the cherry on top of the sundae.
“Hi guys,” she chirped. “What took you so long?“
"What?” demanded Sistah Spooky. “How the hell did you—?“
Empowered held her eyes with murder in the back of her mind. “For shame, sister. I thought you had a vested interest in a fellow female cape getting stronger and more confident…”
“…goddamn bland blonde bitch…” muttered Sistah Spooky.
“I could always dye it if my hair makes you uncomfortable,” Empowered offered. “Which would you prefer? Red? Brown? Brunette?“
The issue closed on Sistah Spooky’s angry face. Sara closed it carefully and tucked the comic under her arm with a whispered, “Well done.”
“You’re still buying Empowered?” sneered a spotty, fat gentleman next to her. “It’s not nearly as much fun since she became such a bitch.
“You mean, a lady who is not there for your purile entertainment?” suggested Sara. “There’s still plenty of T and A per issue, if that’s your primary concern.“
"It stopped being fun when she stopped getting tied up.”
“Well, if it’s bondage you’re after, Super Strangle Hentai would—”
“You’re a girl. What would you know?”
“And you’re single for life. Your point?”
He slunk off muttering about bitches.
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