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Challenge #00236: Weighty Problems

Heavy the head which wears the crown. Heavier still the corset laced improperly.

Valeria had practiced for this. There had been fittings and rehearsals and an entire day getting used to the weight of the crown for this ceremony. She’d be knighting all day. And, for proper pomp and circumstance, all formalities had to be observed.

Including the ritual underwear.

Valeria, as royal crown of Eass, was not permitted to dress herself and, owing to the complexities of the full royal regalia, she could not feed herself, either.

She stood, arms akimbo, while three maids fussed with the petticoats and undershirts and lacings, while a fourth fed her intermittent mouthfuls of breakfast and made certain nothing spilled. She was not even permitted to rearrange her generous breasts herself.

Which inevitably lead to disaster.

Her usual body-servant had a cold, and her junior was unpracticed, and worse, only had little green apples herself whilst Valeria was ‘blessed’ with prize-winning melons. The naive little creature saw no reason to adjust Valeria’s person and went straight on with the lacing.

And every time she opened her mouth, her breakfaster fed her.

And a Queen could not speak with her mouth full.

They got all the way to the ceremonial ruff before something vital went 'ping’ and the entire left side of the edifice of her ceremonial robes slumped visibly.

“Oops,” said the apple-breasted lesser idiot.

The Duchess of the Wardrobe sighed as she entered. “Undo the lot and start again. I’ll inform our knights to be that they shall wait on your majesty’s pleasure and you–” she pointed out the young maid, “–make certain that everything heavy is supported.”

Well. This made everything an hour longer than it had to be.

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Challenge #00235: Dealing with fridge thieves

Coffee jello. Inspired because of this video.

Sara fumed. This was the fifth time someone had stolen her obsessively-labled lunch. It was almost enough to make her insectivorous again. And providing a lunchbox troll hadn’t discouraged the fiend, either.

The inconsiderate soul behind this was obviously trolling for some passive-aggressive antagonizing, but he (it was almost always a ‘he’) had yet to match wits with Sara.

She had Methods.

The “moldy” sandwich wrapper hadn’t

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Challenge #00234: Intricate details

The black fellow and Scott’s riveting discussion about felt.

“I knew you were lying about something,” the fellow in tweed grinned from ear to ear. “You said you only work in artificial plants and things that aren’t alive.”

“Yeah, I did. So?”

“That’s clearly moss on Echoes of Summertime.”

“No, that’s felt.”

“Seriously? Felt?

“Yeah. I wanted a moss look and

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Challenge #00233: Tenpool Lottery

Poverty matures, affluence retrogrades.

You had to be in it to win it. Ten were chosen, nine of whom walked away with a modest prize and entered again and again like everyone else living in poverty on Greater Deregulation.

Only one really won, becoming an Executive, a Celebrity and sometimes even a Pundit, all at the same time. Lives of the winners were followed almost as religiously as the poor bought tickets.

Fawn could only ever afford one a week. She kept

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Challenge #00232: A Lake Appeared in Winsome Valley

The forest is completely submerged. The tops of the tallest trees are easily 50 feet below the surface. Nobody knows how the trees are still alive, but they are, and sometimes, when the water is clear, you can see flickers of movement down below the canopy…

[AN: Please keep in mind that I’ve only heard two episodes of WTNV]

There has been a lot of buzz about the lake that spontaneously appeared in Winsome Valley, just outside the outskirts

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Challenge #00231: We're Mostly Harmless, I Swear!

In case you missed it, this post happened: http://aaceofhearts.tumblr.com/post/57693374988/untitled-jazuthevulcanprincess-bogleech-its-funny

*falls to knees* I will worship you and give you my super secret world’s most awesome and diet-breaking brownie recipe if you will write anything at all inspired by this.

(I am totally serious about the brownie recipe, or any other cake recipe since I can’t deliver to your house. I do healthy food too sometimes) 

[AN: I’m saving the rest

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Aftereffects of Tequila

Kitty and Rogue have shared their first night partying and drinking… and now they also share the hangover and brain-fog that results.  But that’s not all, they discover they also now share something else - ornate tattoos of each others’ names on their butts, and no memory of getting them.

(#00230)

“…ow…”

“Quiet, I’m dying.”

“Oooh, my hair hurts. How can hair hurt?”

“I said, shuddup, I&

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Challenge #00229: The Morning Show with Patty

A cooking show gone horribly wrong

“And here’s our surprise chef for this morning, Doctor Hannibal Lecter. Good morning!”

“Good morning, Patty,” said the tall, handsome man in the fine suit.

“Now, I understand you’re a psychiatrist?”

“That’s correct,” said Hannibal. “However, I am a forensic psychiatrist. I delve into the mind of the serial criminal, and I often don’t get to meet them until

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Challenge #00228: Ancient Terran Tradition

TOGA TIME!

Of course it happened during Silly Season, the quasi-annual event where all humans just spontaneously went more crazy than normal. Or what passed for normal amongst humans.

Rael, of course, expected some blame. Somehow, being attached as chief translator to a being like Shayde on a strictly working basis meant that he was also capable of controlling her actions.

Sherlock, at least, understood that someone like Shayde was not in the least bit controllable and should have been registered as

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Challenge #00227: On the Disposal of Sex Aids

“I don’t know why you thought this was such a good idea!”

They sat in Hwell’s personal space like the ancient mariner’s albatross. Everywhere they went, everyone knew what they were for. And renting a kitchen to experiment was not in his budget.

He managed to sell a few, anyway. Mostly for their original purpose by shy creatures who spoke in low voices and urgently shoved money in his hands before running away with

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Challenge #00226: Wonderlust

The pier at the end of the world

There was no more east left. Somewhere, beyond the sunrise, past an invisible line known only to cartographers, it circled round to being west again.

El stood on the easternmost edge of the easternmost pier, whenever she could do so. She watched the gulls and the ships and the ocean that went all the way around the world while she was stuck in place.

Trapped in Portsmouth Bay. A crowded town huddled in the

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It's not easy being us...

Mystique has a chance encounter with (a somewhat older than Evo-time, say 17-21) Wolfsbane, while both are enjoying a day “off duty” from their respective roles of villain and hero - idle conversation takes a turn toward venting about teammates, and an odd sort of mutual respect comes about, due to their shared connection; namely, both of them understanding the frustrations and aggravations and perks and benefits that are unique to being a shapeshifter (even if one’s forms

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Challenge #00224: Tea and Scales

Ever read the Patricia Wrede’s Enchanted Forest books, starring Princess Cimorene and Kazul the Dragon?

Cimorene and Sara seem very similar people, I bet they’d get along like a house on fire. *hint hint*

[AN: more books on my to-read list. I still have yet to get through The Ocean at the End of the Lane]

“Ah, hello,” said a wall. “Would I be in trouble if I came out of hiding?”

Cimorene paused

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Challenge #00223: Wedding Jitters

Medieval AU!

Sara’s mother is thrilled to have finally arranged a marriage contract for her daughter to prestigious House Toynbee, accepted without even having the two intended meet each other. At last, her girl is going to have to behave like a proper young lady, and if not, well, she’s their problem now.

And then comes the wedding day, when the two heirs finally meet…

[AN: If you start humming the GoT theme during this, I’

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More of Danny's World!

Silver is superstition- but garlic holds power.

(#00222)

It was a very bad haze season, this year. Her neighbours were prone to blame her, owing to her ‘unnatural’ status as the boy who was a girl.

The haze knew, though. They knew when her body didn’t match her soul. It was proof enough for some, but others… Well, there was a reason she was headed to an Aunt’s house.

The sun was going down and

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