Google Maps is accurate. Apple Maps is the product of Dali and Picasso smoking a joint before painting the child of a canary and penguin with a frightened cat used as the paint brush, then selling the result as a map. – RecklessPrudence
There’s an old human saying, that there is no such thing as an accurate map. Maps lie.
For a start, they compress thousands of square distance units into flat expanse capable of -for instance- being held by your average humanoid in two hands. Or to compress a station the mass of a large dwarf planet into an accessible hologram with a zoom feature.
Which still doesn’t solve the timeless question of all map apps.
“How the fook do I get directions outta this heathen thing?”
A small child, still wearing three locator bracelets, stopped to stare at Shayde.
Shayde looked down at the little sprite. “If I gi'e ye a penny, will ye go awa’?”
“Are you lotht?”
Fabulous. The kid had a lisp. Small children were already her vulnerable point. Small children with lisps had her firmly by marshmallow zone. Shayde sighed and dropped into a crouch. “I’m new to the technology,” She took off her info-monocle. “It’s no’ shown’ me how tae get to B from A, ye ken.”
“You talk funny.”
“Aye, an’ it gets worse when I’m stressed.” She put the app on display mode. One of the accidental features she’d repeatedly tripped over on her quest to get directions. “I can get it tae show me where I’m aimin’ t’ go. I can get it tae show me where I am. More or less…” The relevant, happy, green X hopped about in its margin of error. “Woh I cannae do is get it tae tell me how tae get there.”
The small child peered at the app and poked about. “Thith ith the default app. You need to get the better one.”
“Oh aye? Ye know a better one?”
“Mm-hm. Ama thayth the default app'th given out free ‘coz of how nobody’d want it.” The child nodded sagely. “You need t’ get My Thtathion from the thtore.”
Shayde fiddled with the interface and finally found, “Ee, there’s a baker’s dozen…”
The sprite pointed to a friendly-looking icon. “That'th the one Ama got for me.”
“Oh aye? Is it the one Ama uses too?”
“Mmm-hm! Ama liketh it way better than th’ grownup app.”
She couldn’t argue with that recommendation. Plus the kiddie’s app was free. Shayde dug out one of her Special Pennies, and pressed the apparently ordinary copper coin into the kid’s hand. “Keep this aboot ye. It’ll bring ye good luck.”
The sprite peered at it. “That'th a kangaroo… They’re from Earth.”
“Aye. So was I, once.”
“Who'th the man on the other thide?”
“That’s Edward the Eighth. The king who never was. You be guid tae tha’ coin, yeah? It’ll be good tae ye right back.”
“You’re funny,” said the kid. “I like you.”
“Awa’ wi’ ye,” Shayde mock-scolded. “I’m sure there’s someone oot looking fer ye.”
“Bye, demon-lady.”
The favoured app was so simple to use that Shayde hardly needed the pastel rainbow tutorial. She did turn off the syrupy music as soon as possible, though.
And, a bonus, she could turn off the directions by simply exiting the app.
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