Internutter Whines

Commedia dell'errata

I have had a really messed-up day so far. Which has lead to the title of this blog entry.

So far today:

Mayhem decided to spend LITERALLY all night playing games instead of sleeping so he was completely unprepared for school
I found out that Mayhem also manages to spend $1K/month on data usage with his mobile
Which lead to an entire morning talking about responsibility and how much he needs to think ahead before he does a thing.
On the way home from the sprog run, the car up and decided that it wasn't going to respond to the accelerator any more and only travel at 5kph along the main thoroughfare
Called the repair folks, they said to call RACQ
RACQ said I needed a tow
Called around as ordered, and waited for the tow truck to take me all the heck way to North Lakes
Finally got there and hung around until the replacement car
Found out that my license had expired some months ago and Main Roads hadn't sent me a reminder
Couldn't fill out the online rego because I needed the reminder letter that I didn't get
Half an hour on hold later, I explained my situation and came to the revelation that I would have to get two lifts
There and back to the nearest Dept of Transport, plus form anxiety
Wave bits of paper at the relevant people and finally get the replacement car whilst my zippy little car goes to the car doctor.
All this before breakfast, and it took until half-past one in the afternoon.

Ugh.

I have a lot of work to do and a very little time to do it.

The fear/exhaustion feeling is not going away. It's starting to suck major league balls.

I will do just about anything to make it go away. Except break Keto. That crap is not going to happen.

Fortunately, I have a fuckoff-huge coffee hoard and little tricks like sugarless mints to help maintain awareness.

The worst part is trying to go to sleep at night. I can succumb to the exhaustion, but the fear manages to keep me awake for way longer than

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

I’d throw a tanty, but it would wake everyone else.

I did manage a half-hour nap.

Since then, I have been living vicariously through other peeps’ SPG concert footage.

I love that band so much, it hurts.

Everything I love is out of my reach.

Yeah. Beloved still isn’t home. Life sucks. And now my back hurts. I know it’s because I’ve been lying still too long… But moving lets the cold in.

I’m hungry but I don’t want to

Well, fuck.

Beloved is out working so late that it’s early. And I have the shittiest time sleeping alone.

My feet hurt. It’s cold. And I think I might need the nebuliser because I haven’t been looking after myself.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck

And of course at 3AM I get thoughts like:

One day I will be problematic to somebody.

One day someone will dig up something I said in a previous decade that I cringe about even now.