Instant Story

Flash fiction fresh from my fingers to your mind!

Potentially kindasorta NSFW prompt...

Humans are encountered by a race who has cyclical breeding seasons rather than humanlike sex-at-anytime urges. Both are baffled by the other’s views on sexuality.

I imagine the human idea of sex being something that is always a possibility, a low level cultural background radiation, would be insane for a race that had naturally-regimented behavior where such urges are only really a noteworthy thing for a few weeks a year (though during that time, it’s a BIG deal).

It’d make gender discussions across species interesting if they did have actual, honest to god, biologically-preset responses around sex and gender. “No, I’m not being vulgar, she will literally lose her mind and have sex with anyone. So will I, eventually, it’s just something we deal with now and then. How your kind can handle the constant wanting for it, I can’t even imagine.”

(#00818-B087)

“Pear-mer!” The human held her hands up in a gesture of peace and welcoming. “I haven’t seen you in a whille. All is well?”

“Of course all is well,” Piar’mir. “It was not travel season.”

“Oh…” Ri’ki put her arms down. “This is a culture thing? You go home for the gods?”

“No,” said Piar’mir. “Biology. We need to be at home.” She lowered her voice to a whisper, “Mating season.”

“Aw. I wish you’d warned me,” sighed Ri’ki. “I got three month’s shipments of Kor’exxi gone to seed, now.”

“Three… months…” Piar’mir boggled. “You did not have mating season?”

The human displayed her teeth. “Human mating season is whenever, wherever.” Ri’ki shrugged. “Most of pairing up is finding out if the other person is into you.”

“Sounds… needlessly complicated,” Piar’mir confessed. “But I shall do you a favour, my friend. That rotted Kor’exxi has its uses in the fields. If you ferment it with a special yeast, not only do you get a powerful liquor, but the spent mash is an excellent fertiliser.”

“Way ahead of you on the fermenting part,” Ri’ki grinned. “I got local yeast because I know the Terran varieties are -ah- aggressive.”

It was then that Piar’mir had to wonder exactly what this creature had been up to during those three months.

[Muse food remaining: 17. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Challenge #00817-B086: Something of a Gift

“..The warmest place by the fire was reserved for the Storyteller.” You might recognize this from the opening of the Jim Henson series (beautiful!). See what you can do with it.

They called her a foul shade. And, having finally seen what she had for a face, now, Katie could believe it. They thought she was a demon. They had her in shackles that even the best of her knowledge couldn’t crack. Not even her secret gift could do anything to

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Challenge #00816-B085: Infectious Craze

The Birdy dance, aka the Chicken dance. Turn it loose somewhere, have fun.

Shayde was wearing the patched muumuu. Which meant that her ‘street’ act, today, was something she called Stump the Frump. Which was ironic, because he knew for a fact that she’d spent an entire hour making certain that she looked like she didn’t care.

The act was, people would bring her musical instruments and, if she couldn’t wrangle a tune out of it, the person or

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Challenge #00815-B084: Inappropriate Love Gifts

There were a line of little heads on the mat near the bed, just the heads. The damn cat had been at it again!

Sandra drew her toes up again and hid them under her comforter. It wasn’t a straight line. More of a curve. All those dead, bloodied little heads. Arranged in something of a semicircle in a kind of post-mortem worship of her bed.

And in came the cat. Black, sleek and proud. Smirking at his fine achievement. Tail

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Challenge #00815-B084: No Connection

Challenge: Write a story using only one half of a dialogue

Chase: I need you (Sent 1:15PM)

Chase: Like really important (Sent 1:23PM)

Chase: I can see you’re online (Sent 1:27PM)

Chase: Please don’t ignore? (Sent 1:32PM)

Chase: I’m sorry about everything, ever. Promise (Sent 1:36PM)

Chase: Something blew up and I’m stuck in the rubble (Sent 1:37PM)

Chase: For reals (Sent 1:41PM)

Chase: I’m not fooling here (Sent 1:

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Challenge #00814-B083: He Said/He Said

Challenge: Write a story using only dialogue

[AN: I’M BAAA-AAAAAACK! Taking this carefully and slowly so I don’t wind up with another four weeks of convalescence]

“This is all your fault.”

“My fault? My fault? I just landed in here two seconds ago, how could it be my fault?”

“It’s always your fault. How much have you had to drink?”

“Two standard volume units. Of water.”

“Huh. Fire water, belike. I know you too well, human. You reek of

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"No, try it, it goes good with everything..."

It was once said that “with enough fried onions and mustard people would eat anything.”  This has also been proven to apply to the additions of either chocolate or bacon.

Frankly, as it has been quite a long time since humanity first wound up discovering these multipurpose edibles, it’s often considered a great wonder that human civilization has not yet managed to eat itself to death, either by the direct sense of gorging and gluttony, or by the indirect sense of

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Challenge #00812-B081: Varied Diet?

After the omlette incident, realising exactly how much human food, like cake or pies or snacks, involve eggs.

Day 3.

Hen eggs declared non-cogniscent food. Also declared sterile. Also declared offensive. Further adjudication necessary.

Day 5.

Adjudication finished. Human can consume extant eggs, but only in utter privacy and behind offensensitivity shielding. The human must not consume any more eggs or egg-based products while aboard Science Vessel Sigma-Four.

“WHAT?” Sta-see yawped. Humans could get loud. At least she had been trained to

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Challenge #00811-B080: Horror Cuisine

The unthinking introduction of an omlette to a birdlike alien species.

“What are orbs?” said the assigned Human Watcher. So far, it hadn’t been as dangerous or nasty as she’d been lead to believe. Ri’ki’ki was starting to believe that all the stories were just… stories.

“Eggs,” said the human. Her name was Sta-see. Or something close enough. She was organising her little kitchen according to her own rules.

“You having egg in stasis? They is never hatch.

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Challenge #00810-B079: T'yoree the Reckless

Prompt: A Lilo and Stitch-esque scene with numidid and surfing humans.

T’yoree was frequently trotted out as an example as to why scientists should not be allowed to breed. She had, even to the humans, the self-preservation instincts of a concussed whelk.

As a keet, she would ride the larger dogs and invented the concept of Frisbee Dodge-em.

Some said that the natural Deathworlder attitude towards risk had rubbed off on her.

And she was the first Numidid to surf. Of

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Challenge #00809-B078: Flight School

“We will begin this course with some examples of deconstructive lithobraking. This 30-minute holofilm is titled ‘When the Ground Isn’t Your Friend.’”

Wherever humans go, they bring alcohol. In actuality, you are better off if they bring it, because otherwise they brew it. And you do not want to know what goes into the process, because humans will drink the byproduct of anything they can get to ferment.

And sometimes they stick Things in it, after distilling, to “enhance the flavour”

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Challenge #00808-B077: What's Your Emergency?

Okay, let me see if I’ve got this straight. You’re in a truck, about 500 meters in the air, with a JATO rocket duct-taped to the undercarriage.
[Name], if this was anyone but you, I’d swear this was a prank call.

I’ll never know how he did it, but Warren got hold of a JATO. I do remember how we had a barbecue to celebrate. Lots of beer and ribs and a rambling discussion about what to do

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Challenge #00807-B076: To Ride the Dark

On the Dark Side of the Force:  you can’t let it guide you like you can the Light, you must not, in fact. Rather, you have to muzzle it - or perhaps ride it, is a better analogy. Use it’s power, but do not let it run away with you. Like with a particularly independent, stubborn, and genocide-happy horse.

“You have much anger in you. That is good. It is a feeling. Feeling is life.” The Master smiled at her

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Challenge #00806-B075: Permanent Hold

“Your custom is valuable to us. Please be patient and an operator will get back to you.” And you can have fun with this.

[AN: My dash looks like this right now. I’m sincerely hoping that this post is not similarly FUBAR’d. Appropriate prompt is hella appropriate]

The music stopped. She took a preparatory breath in. But there was no human on the other end of the line.

“Your call is important to us,” said the automated voice.

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Challenge #00805-B074: The Ultimate Punishment?

“Oh I’m not going to give you time in prison. Your punishment is going to be far much harder. You! are going to help judge Children’s Talent Quests. May the Deity of your choice have Mercy on you!” Have fun, endless repetitions of the same routine come to mind, but be as evil as you like.

[AN: This might work on thieves and killers, but it would not be the thing for pedos or molesters]

“Betcher bottum dolleeeeerrrrr&

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