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Humans are Insane

A 189-post collection

Challenge #02534-F344: Designed For Disaster

There are reasons why humans coined the term “idiot proofing”, many MANY reasons -- Anon Guest

Make it idiot proof and the world will invent a better idiot -- Human engineering axiom.

It was a Human who came up with Murphy's Law, and further Humans who came up with all the associated corollaries. Humans investigated them all, invented science to prove them, and then invented science that provided vital analysis into the reasons why it was so.

All devices made by Humans are over-engineered to cope with stresses both outside and inside. They print instructional plaques and then make certain that the device cannot possibly be used in any other way. They have a language of use, of codifying function into design, that other species have to work at to even parallel.

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Challenge #02533-F343: In the Eye of the Storm

Humans don't all celebrate Silly Seasons. Some find it disorienting, some have been damaged, some protest aspects of the culture/celebration in question, some just don't care, and occasionally they're not 'in the mood.' For those who've resigned themselves to the boisterous Silly Season, a human who doesn't conform to the human 'norm' is actually more alarming than everything else they've prepared to tolerate. -- Anon Guest

Silly Season is not a set festival, as many new to the Galactic Alliance

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Challenge #02531-F341: Conflict of Interests

Don’t worry we’re completely safe

explosion

Relatively safe

laughter in the distance

As long we don’t move from here, we’re safe

door flies open

I think it’s best if we leave -- Anon Guest

[AN: Nonny, you have hit one of my favourite tropes - the chain of circumstantial self-correction. I confess to laughing out loud]

There used to be two absolute certainties in the universe - death and taxes. However, after the Humans entered the Galactic

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Challenge #02512-F322: One Complex Thought Experiment in the Void

An empath and a sociopath trying to help each other interact with people. -- Anon Guest

Here are two humans. Call them Abe and Bee. Abe cares too much about others and other's feelings, to the point of neglecting their own. Bee doesn't care about anyone but themself. They are both abnormal Humans. They are both trying to get back to civilisation as they know it with a group of strangers for a crew on their kludged vessel. They're a rag-tag bunch

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Challenge #02502-F312: In a Minute

A: not exactly “capture” more like take a moment and put it on a pixelated screen. Here

B: is something supposed to be on this slate?

A: what? It’s right here can’t you see?

B: see?

A: when light passes through ya eyeball

B: light? -- Anon Guest

There were moments like this all over Galactic Space. One participant in a conversation would realise that the other they had been communicating with freely until this moment did not possess the

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Challenge #02497-F307: Beginning to Look a Lot Like TERROR

A: oh god, oh fuck it’s happening again

B: what? What wrong?

A: not again, I’m not strong enough

B: for what?!

A: it’s coming, it’s coming

B: WHAT THE FUCK IS COMING

A: Christmas -- Anon Guest

Some Humans are major league into their holidays. Often to the point that Station Regulations have to intervene in regards to what is on public display. Some are not very excited by their holidays, and some... despise them. Companion Huruk

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Challenge #02494-F304: Mr Sunshine's New Friend

His name was Mr. Sunshine. One of the better known, and as properly feared, members of Pax Humanis. He had been working on a station for some time now when he meets a member of a fluffy, bipedal, cat-like species. They were frequent visitors to this station because it was one of the regular trade stops along their delivery route. They delivered medical supplies and mail, mostly. And, occasionally, carried passengers. One young female of the species meets the cat-loving Mr. Sunshine

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Challenge #02491-F301: The Human Definition

Trying to help humans better integrate into Galactic Civilization, several individuals, scholars, medics, psychologists, ect, get together and begin to travel to areas where there are lots of humans. Their goal is to write a new manual on human psychology, health - both mental and physical, how to interact with humans, to debunk misconceptions about humans, etc. Amongst the team are, in fact, several humans to help. Their job is to help the Galactics separate fact from assumption and write a comprehensive

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Challenge #02486-F296: Some of Parts

They used to meet you on arrival and arrange everything for your stay. Now they find valued jobs as Concierges in up-market hotels. The person who knows where to find experts and enthusiasts for Films and Docos. Inspired by a Thomas Cook employee who used to greet VIP's and smooth their path. -- Knitnan

Some people are best at connections. They just... know people. They know another individual who might have the knowledge of the thing. They know a person who knows

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Challenge #02484-F294: Essential Briefing

A new security force is in training so they can be assigned to various stations. The subject of this particular lecture was the phenomena involving human Silly Seasons. What they were, how to recognize when one was about to happen, how to handle them, and most important, how to curtail the humans safely before the Silly Season got too far out of hand. -- DaniAndShali

Given that this station has opened its airlocks to admit Humans, we at Administration are well aware

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Challenge #02481-F291: Complete Medical Intervention

It may be only 2% of our body mass, but for every cell we have in our body there ten of them. Bacteria are relatively harmless for the most parts. They help digest food, strengthen our immune system, and could kill us if escape from ours guts. -- Anon Guest

Humans are, for the most part, completely unaware that they exist in a state of symbiosis. If asked, most of them would mention their mitochondria, a symbiote so involved that it has

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Challenge #02469-F279: Close to the Skins

Tighty whities, saggy and baggy, or not much there at all... your wash tells a lot about you. -- Anon Guest

Of all the mysteries of Human existence, the concept of 'clothing' and 'decency' are the pinnacle of Human attempts at civilisation. Primary amongst the examples trotted out for debate are 'underwear'. Human underwear has gone from articles of clothing to protect the outer clothing from assorted bodily excretions, to hardly anything at all designed to cover intimate portions of skin from

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Challenge #02468-F278: Tougher Than Tough

"What's wrong I heard screaming!?"

"Oh, hey can you help me get my hand out of here?"

"I was practicing with Australian Bull-oak and made a hole."

"What were yo- by the stars you're bleeding!"

"I know that so help me!"

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Allocasuarina_luehmannii -- Anon Guest

[AN: Changed the spelling of Buloke so people could read the prompt a smidge easier]

Humans with a fascination for martial arts -especially fictional martial arts- are more insane than

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Challenge #02463-F273: Night of the Living PJ's

“I fucked up my internal clock and having insomnia always triggering midnight hunger.”

“Midnight hunger?”

“A zombie like state that make me crave food.”

“What's a zombie?”

“You’ll see tonight.” -- Anon Guest

Humans have weird terms for everything. Spacers, even more so. It's as if being locked inside a limited space with only audio channels available for communication triggers its own unique permutations on language. Either that, Grux speculated, or they were just Like That from the beginning.

"Just a

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Challenge #02462-F272: A Not-So-Little List

Rael's introduction to cream pie, please. -- Anon Guest

[AN: You can find something similar in my very first anthology under the title of Time Out From That Good Fight (It should be in the late one hundreds, but if not, here's the link to the version on Steemit.]

Was there any bigger portent of impending doom than Shayde singing a certain song from The Mikado? Rael had unfortunately found out that the answer was 'yes'. It was Shayde singing a certain

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