Realm of the InterNutter

Thoughts, stories and ideas.

Challenge #00543 - A168: Sufficiently Advanced... Rituals

[In a discussion about technically-proficient people (of any subdivision) and the lies-to-children told to those they have to interact with]

I think we know why wizards just act all cryptic and stuff…

I imagine they had to keep explaining their knowledge of the arcane to the average peasant over and over again until they just got fed up with it.

And that’s how we get wizards, mages and sorcerers who seem to delight in not giving a straight answer. – RecklessPrudence

There were those who saw Isobel as a god. There were those who saw her as an angel sent by their deity to see them safely to their distant and unreachable paradise. Some saw her as some form of divine intervention in mortal form.

One saw her as a friend.

And now… one different one saw her as a pain in their anatomy and a threat to their authority.

His title was Sir. A fact he reminded everyone of at the slightest hint of a slip. He wore ancient passkeys and sigils of authority, strung on a huge chain around his richly-robed body. He had a harem of under-dressed ladies who he apparently employed to keep him warm and distract any participants.

Pity for him her attentions were solely on the door he’d carefully blocked with his throne of office.

“None may pass,” he repeated. “None! Which word do you fail to understand?”

“I do not understand why you don’t wish to reach Eyisum,” said Isobel, feigning the unique ignorance of a foreigner.

“Eyisum is a state of mind. Eyisum is where our spirits fly. Do you wish to kill me, outsider? Do you wish to kill yourself? This chamber is sealed under the curse of Karantin.” Quarantine. “To enter is to die!”

Her scanners were thorough and had detected nothing in there that could harm a rat. And had, in fact, only picked up rats inside there. Large ones, certainly, but not deadly.

“Then it seems in your best interests to let me pass,” she finagled. “If to go through that door means death, then it seems the quickest and easiest way to prove my hubris to all.”

There it was. The telling flicker. He was a smart enough martinet to know that the machine-gods of Arta were not performing as advertised. Therefore he feared that the forbidden zones had similarly lost power. His power relied heavily on that of their gods. If that power was gone, so was his.

“To enter is to die,” he repeated. “I have men with crossbows to ensure that fact.”

“And I have micro-meteor-rated space armour,” she countered. “Your men are welcome to try it.”

“Enough of this nonsense,” he sneered. “Defense grid, fire internal lasers co-ords eighty by five-three-niner by twelve!”

Isobel heard them warming up and neatly stepped off the entirely suspicious and freshly-repainted X on the floor. Even then, they could barely have managed a first-degree burn on an unprotected citizen.

He’d lost. He’d very clearly lost.

[Muse food remaining: 16. Submit a promptAsk a questionBuy my stories!]

Challenge #00542 - A167: One Familiar Face

“That’s 19, last question.”

“Ok, it’s a person, a guy, dark haired, kinda short, amnesiac, fast healing/possibly immortal, older than 200 years, uses bladed weapons, knows lots of martial arts, and fights against people trying to take over and/or destroy the world.”

"Yep.”

“Is it Wolverine?”

“What? No, it was Van Helsing.”

“…”

“…”

*dawning realisation*

No way…”

“Mr Logan?”

“Yeh, Tallwater?”

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And just saw this - HELL NO YOU ARE NOT SCUM! ...I wish I could bold, italic, and underline that. You and your stories got me through one of...

That squeaking noise you just heard was probably me. This is the best kind of fanmail I could ever have  received and could ever receive.

There’s times when I doubt myself and my abilities. You were just witness to one such. I tried self-advertising the things I made… and got no results.

A rare reblog-on-request, but no expected storm from my followers with comments on how that story or this story  made the reblogger smile when they were blue

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Have you ever heard the phrase cockblocking? You know, you're at a bar, talking to a girl, and what happens? Her less attractive friend...

Have you ever heard the phrase cockblocking? You know, you’re at a bar, talking to a girl, and what happens? Her less attractive friend comes over and ruins everything. Cockblock. Well I have to tell you something guys: I have been the less attractive friend, and you were NOT cockblocked. I was following orders from my better-looking friend that she did not wanna fuck you. …Girls have two signals for their friends: ‘I’m gonna fuck him’ and ‘HELP.’

Amy Schumer

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I saw from a tumblr re-post that you are severely myopic. I am too. Just a heads up that myopia and astigmitism can lead to detached...

Thanks for your concern [And sorry it took me so long to formulate a reply. Gah, I suck!] but I did know about the retinas thing.

Fortunately my decrepit skeleton likes to forbid me from doing the things that could detach a retina so I’m moderately safe until I near my fifties.

Even then, I don’t think there’s anything in the world that could stop me writing.

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…especially after you’ve been touting for inbox stuff. Considering the people who are still finding and liking Elves...

image

…especially after you’ve been touting for inbox stuff.

Considering the people who are still finding and liking Elves Don’t Live Forever [which was posted A G E S  ago]

You’d think people would bug me about things… Like my other stories.

Or what this Amalgam Universe tag is all about.

I even managed to scare off the nice person who was RP'ing with me[I think].

…I must be scum…

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I'm sorry

I never should have complained about getting too many prompts.

I’ve gone from having 50+ to having 15

Spam me. Have at me. I don’t care. [Just keep notes in case of repeats, that’s all I ask]

[And a special sorry to callmegallifreya who sends me lots and lots of tasty muse food. And RecklessPrudence, who I may have scared away. I’m very sorry. Please spam my inbox once more.

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Yours for the low, low price of anything you want! 365 stories, prompted by people like you. Readers all over the internet gave me every...

Yours for the low, low price of anything you want!

365 stories, prompted by people like you. Readers all over the internet gave me every kind of nonsense they could carefully concoct in an effort to stump me and got every kind of marvellous prose.

Now in a format where you don’t have to scroll through endless reblogs, ranting, and flamewars!

What would you pay for a years’ worth of work?

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