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A.
Light Year.
Is.
The distance.
That light.
Travels.
In a year. – RecklessPrudence

[AN: Huzzah! I’m not the only person annoyed by this]

“So we travelled six thousand light years in less than an hour?” asked the tourist.

“Technically,” allowed the Hitchhiker. “Wormholes are more of a shortc–”

“We’ve been taking light years in minutes! Why aren’t I any younger?” the tourist guffawed at his own joke.

Rael could actually hear Shayde snap. He was frankly shocked that the rest of this port-side Unsuitable Food Bar didn’t hear it as well. As it was, he was far too slow to stop her from physically picking the man up by his hawaiian print shirt collar.

“A. Light Year. Is. The distance. That light. Travels. In a year!” She punctuated her statement with agitated shakes of the tourist. “It’s no’ diet time!”

“…ifIgiveyouaMinutewillyouputmedown?” he squeaked. Barely audible above the applause from everyone else within earshot. Including the Hitchhiker.

“Never. Make. That joke. Again. Ye ken?”

“…yes’m…”

Shayde put him down with a snarl. “Guid. Hope ye learned sommat today.” It was evidently an effort to back off.

And it was also a very good thing that Ambassadors had a certain amount of leniency vis-a-vis physical assault. Rael did what he could to calm her down and covertly updated the stations’ Tetchy Ambassador Warning System.

[Muse food remaining: 40. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Gentlemen, behold, the singularity of stupid. – RecklessPrudence

[AN: I’ve already spoken out against mental ablism and received crap for it. No help - just crap. I feel like I’m walking on a fairy floss tightrope with incipient rain overhead, BUT - st*pid is an ablist slur please help us all find something else]

“O divine Powers, that is such a dense idea…”

“No denser than yo Daddy.”

“Yeah, well yo

Don’t you smile at me… that’s not even a real smile! It’s just a bunch of teeth playing with my mind! – RecklessPrudence

The robot, trying to please, returned to a neutral expression display. “My apologies,” it said. “I am built to serve. How may I help you, today?”

Aisha sighed. Of all the bodies she could have hauled into her life raft, it had to be one of the service ‘bots from the

I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates when he said “I drank what?” — RecklessPrudence

Jones had had enough. “Actually, he said that he owed a rooster to Asclepius, the Greek god of healing, and asked his friend to pay the debt. He knew damn well he was drinking hemlock and chugged it like it was cheap beer.”

The rest of the meeting stared at her.

“I’m tired of historically inaccurate jokes, okay? Socrates was a bad-ass and nobody

(New scientific project posts a status update. Buried in hundreds of lines of technical jargon is this)

IA!! IA!! SIS BOOM BA! OLD ONES!! OLD ONES!! RAH-RAH-RAH!!

YOG-SOTHOTH!!

(Followed by:)

To summarize, there should be no harmful side-effects from this project. – RecklessPrudence

“Jenkins… I do understand the natural frustration with our sponsors not reading the technical data they pay for, but…” Paulson handed over the page with the highlighted passage. “Was this absolutely necessary?”

Jenkins

If there’s one thing the internet as a whole can aspire to be, it’s infinite monkeys on infinite typewriters. – RecklessPrudence

Communication has always been the barrier to creativity. But now those barriers were only limited by language. And even then, there were translation apps.

Such apps were very useful to Archivaas Nel, whose job it was to trawl the archives and file each and every item. Cross-referencing, of course, in case someone wanted to trace a work to its

“It occurs to me…your inability to use the brain evolution granted you is none of my concern.” – RecklessPrudence

[AN: In case you’re wondering, it’s pronounced “fee co seff a lop ath ee”. The medical state of having shit for brains]

“Heads up, I got me a creeper,” Shayde announced as she parked herself uncomfortably close to him.

There would be no answers forthcoming from Shayde, who acted as if everyone

If you want to build a space ship, don’t tax people to collect the money and don’t command them around to do tasks, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the universe. -Antoine de Saint-Exupery, paraphrasing. (c/- RecklessPrudence)

[AN: Yeah, I’m pretty darn certain that if you crowd-funded space travel, you would never need to look for money ever again. You’d have people paying for the privilege of working on it, too]

Hi.

If you become a monster to put down a monster you’ve still got a monster running down at the end of the day and have as such not really solved the whole monster problem at all. – RecklessPrudence

Beware the hand of the Enlisted Man, for all he has known is to kill – Galactic Proverb.

They called it the War of the Monsters. Those who survived it. And there weren’t many of those who survived it. Biotechs in

Inner Child looking for Outer Adult. – RecklessPrudence

She’d taken inordinate pains to seem adult. Learned how to perfect her makeup. Learned how to deal with the adult responsibilities. Made herself eat her vegetables and stopped playing with her food.

At least in public.

Yet she still bought toys. Played games. Read comic books. Enjoyed animated features and sang along with her favourite songs - despite the fact that she couldn’t really sing. Still did up her hair

That theory is absolutely preposterous, stupid and all kinds of awesome.

I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. – RecklessPrudence

[AN: ‘stupid’ is an ablist slur and I’d really love to learn how to avoid it without tripping over myself. All helps welcome]

“You’ve seen my lifecorder footage,” explained T'reka for what felt like the umpteenth time. At least, this time, she was conversing with a fellow scientist. “You were on shift

Faster, Cheaper, Better, Pick Two. – RecklessPrudence

Shayde made most of her Hours from being a living Time Window. Her memories kept her comfortable and fed quite a large number of assorted waifs and strays around Amalgam Station.

And it kept Rael in slightly more Double Dense Decadent Death by Chocolate Cake than he felt comfortable accepting.

Shayde was building something from custom parts, today. Taking a day off from ‘the office’ and its paperless paperwork to build… some

Any sufficiently advanced [magic/science/SCIENCE!] is indistinguishable from bullshit. – RecklessPrudence

It glowed, but it wasn’t radioactive. It could be made at home with an array of equipment that absolutely, positively, had to include a Theremin and a Jacob’s ladder. And for the creator to wear a colander on their head.

It had been scientifically proven to be so.

A single mote could power any old car currently capable of running. Plug some into a power point

If you meet Yog-Sothoth, you’ve gone too far on the axis of comprehension; back up slowly and call for reality assistance. – RecklessPrudence

Ow. It had happened again. OW! It wasn’t getting any better with experience.

Katie looked up from her pained huddle, halfway expecting somebody yelling at her to ‘avaunt’ and calling her names. One more time. One more time, she swore, and she would start calling herself a foul shayde from out the blackest