Write Something

    Old software engineering joke: “Write your code as if it’ll be read three months later by a homicidal psychotic who knows where you live.”

    Spoiler: You know where you live, and will have to read your code three months later, when you’ve forgotten what much of it does.

“Who the hell was the fucktard who wrote this goddamn ugly shitty mess of shitty shit fuck!”

The entire cubicle labyrinth prairie dogged their heads above the felt-covered partitions to focus on the angst-ridden gentlemen currently throwing a tanty in his own little grey box.

Rapidly approaching, was the project supervisor. Tablet in hand, in an effort to quell the fury and the furor. To put out a few fires before they could start.

“What’s the problem, Kransky?”

“This ugly-ass kludge of uncommented shit is the matter. I’m going to track down that idiot and tear them a new one!”

DeVries tapped on her tablet. “According to doc-tracking… You were the idiot who wrote that code, Kransky.”

“I’m gonna invent time travel so I can kick myself up the ass,” Kransky vowed.

“Just remember to comment that -ah- goddamn ugly shitty mess of shitty shit fuck, next time?”

Kransky lowered himself back down behind his station. “Message received and understood.”

The rest of the coders vanished behind grey felt walls before DeVries could notice they were ever watching.

[Muse food remaining: 12. Submit a prompt! Ask a question!]

In days to come, he would reflect upon the premature nature of that thought. He would ponder it, as a sinner pondered the inexplicable actions of an irritated deity. He would wonder if perhaps, by allowing himself to think it, he had angered the God of Perversity, and Murphy, who is His Prophet. It was the only offense he could think of that might have explained what happened next.

(#000106)

He should never have asked, “What could possibly go wrong?”

Imperial China. They actually had royal dragon caretakers on the payroll. Logic says that this was due to them either having actual dragons (read: dinosaurs), or the Emperor had done off the deep end again. If they really did have dinosaurs they were almost certainly plant eaters … but that doesn’t allow us to imagine T-Rex cavalry fighting alongside stupidly large infantry armies, and that should be it’s own goal.

(#00105)

[AN: Given the nature of actual Chinese

At some point, someone (Sara? Somebody in your own setting?) defines Patience.

Patience, noun: the state of having too many witnesses.

(#00104)

“We reviewed the evidence and personal testimonies,” said the brown-robed Archivaas. “And we thought we might work with you to.. re-evaluate history’s view of Ernest Hackmeyer.”

“That plagiaristic bastard can go rot in fire,” Shayde said cheerily as she poured tea. “Is he goin’ from bafflin’ genius tae scum-suckin&

“Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.”

“That’s a scary quote from you, hon,” said Todd.

Sara, waist-deep in the workings of Cerebro, said, “Granted, it is problematic. Fortunately, my murderous tendencies remain confined in the socially acceptable forum of fiction. But it is rather apropos.”

Todd quickly put two and two together. “You mean this aint a

Asteroids: Nature’s way of asking “So, how’s that space program coming along?”

“What I don’t get is that we’ve had the technology for years but we’re all just sitting around and watching these rocks fly by.”

“Getting into space is expensive. And when you think about it, Earth’s the best defense against asteroids there is.”

“Shyeah. Tell that to the dinosaurs.”

“

When the end of the world came, it was in a form no-one had anticipated.

(#000101)

“And you’re sure this will initiate the -um- whatchamacallit.”

“Personal temporal stability field. Yes. One push of a button and I can live forever and never age.” Greedy fingers gently caressed the alligator switch. “My telomeres will be stable. I’ll continue to move forward in time, but time will have no effect on me. I won’

Write a story based on any part of this song. I recommend the cover by Michelle Dockrey and Tony Fabris (aka Vixy & Tony).

(Holy shit it’s #00100!)

Red alert was blaring, the Klingons were coming in hard and fast. Michael worked as hard as he could to get the coupling back together and effectively save the day. Which he did.

“And now my keyboard doesn’t work,” she complained.

“Hmn?” One blink, and he

I’ve actually already written a little snippet for this, but I’d like to see what you do. First Contact scenario with an explorator ship, and a bridge officer says to Captain James, completely seriously, “It’s life Jim, but not as we know it”. Cue laughing and singing from someone else on the bridge, a classic sci-fi and filk fan, just as the first audio transmissions between the two species start.

(#00099)

There is a

Fusion Power has been “thirty years away” for more than thirty years now, due to a combination of lack of funding and public apprehension about anything with the word “nuclear” appended to it. What would it take to change that?

(#00098)

“What, all of it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Even the shale?”

“Yes, sir.”

“All of the coal. All of the oil.”

Weatherby began to wonder how many different ways

Humanity finally recognises another species on this planet as sapient, and deserving of more than animal rights, even if those are different to human rights… and all it took was them beating us over our collective heads with a metaphorical stick.

(#00097)

We swim. We hunt. We talk. They used us, the land-walkers. Experimented on us. Made us into weapons. Made us into things to render safe their horrible devices.

They are clever, those land-walkers. But not clever enough.

We have