Myths Illogical

A 182-post collection

Challenge #01253-C158: Happily Ever After

Princess marries Dragon and Knight -- Gallifreya

Another day, another quest. Trillwhistle and Amanda had both taken a liking to questing. They saw more of the world than they could have initially believed and the rewards were interesting. And educational.

Amanda stopped calling herself Princess Amanda and, thanks to an unkowing knighthood from a distant king, started going by Sir Dragonbourne. It helped that her armour covered her face and disguised her physique.

And it was safer to let everyone assume that both Trillwhistle and Sir Dragonbourne were male. People got funny when either of them referred to each other as 'she' or 'her'. And some got so hilarious about it that they sent mighty armies after them.

And then came Princess Zigwe.

She had been abducted by some slighted sorceror and taken to a tall tower. The usual rigmarole. Unfortunately for Trillwhistle, her wing was injured in the finishing fight. So their journey back to the king's palace was incredibly slower than their departing journey.

Zigwe knew who they both were before the end of the second day. She was another bright woman trapped in the rigid role her society had left her. She had dreams and plans and more than a passing knowledge of magic, herself.

They fell in love in less than a week.

The Princess Zigwe convinced her father that marriage to Sir Dragonbourne was their due. And Amanda was able to add the stipulation that Trillwhistle be part of the ceremony and oath-taking as well.

King Machawa was happy to see his daughter married and off of his hands. He would never know that he had seen to it that three women married each other, that day.

But that trio did live, and live well, for all of their days together.

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Challenge #01252-C157: A Friend for the Princess

Princess is Dragon -- Gallifreya

The tallest tower of the castle is the largest. The widest. The roomiest. And it has the largest windows. The Princess is held there, they say. They say that there's a dragon. They say that the Princess is the most beautiful creature that ever lived.

Toe had heard all the rumours, of course. How suitors came to see her, and often ran away. How some came with blades to conquer the beast of the tower. They went

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Challenge #01251-C156: The Power of Knowledge

Princess Rescues Dragon -- Gallifreya

Sir Kevin the Persistent lived up to his name. He did not, alas, live up to some of the more important laws of chivalry. He had studied up on Dragons and knew the best time to attack Trillwhistle.

The fact that he waited for her next shedding season was telling indeed. He would strike when his opponent was weak. He would arm himself with everything he needed to use to destroy one in its strength, so he

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Challenge #01250-C155: Dragon/Princess/Knight

Dragon rescues Princess from Knight -- Gallifreya

"EUGH! NO! Get. Off. Me!"

Trillwhistle gave off looking for the right kind of rocks to scrape off her old skin on and followed the sounds of feminine protest.

"Come on. It's only a kiss. It's my due."

In a clearing not far from the rough, rocky outcropping that Trillwhistle had been considering as a hide-scraper, there was... a Scene.

It looked like some of the pictures from the human books. A lovely glade, a

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Challenge #01246-C151: Slice of Life With a Demon

1) "Ignoring the severed heads in the closet does not make for a good relationship. It makes for an unsanitary closet and possible accessory charges."

2) How to Train Your Hellhound -- Gallifreya

[AN: This takes the gap count down to 11]

1)

"NIIIIIIIIILLLLSSS!" That was not the come-here-I-am-in-trouble shriek. That was the come-here-you-are-in-trouble shriek. As a demon in the pits of Hell, he had feared little but the wrath of his master. Now on the Earth, little ever scared

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Challenge #01245-C150: Angels Well Aware

Sleazy Televangelist of the "Give me your money! And God will Love you!" variety gets an angel. -- KnitNan

"...what does it mean when God sends an Angel? It means something momentous. It means that God himself has a mission for you. It means that the almighty architect of this glorious earth has selected you. Personally. To be His agent on this sorry world. And you'd better behave yourself because HE! IS! WATCHING!"

'Reverend' Tommy Thompson watched his broadcast. Making notes for

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Challenge #01244-C149: Temptations Bakery Origin Story

http://cuppykin.tumblr.com/post/127886086419/how-nightmare-demon-met-his-gf

"How Nightmare Demon met his GF

Demon:MORTAL, you are a lucky one, I HAVE CHOSEN YOU TO BE MY DINNER FOR THIS EVENING, BEG IF YOU WANT BUT I'M TAKING YOUR SOUL AND BODY

Tiny GF:Oh, you're hungry? Well I just ate dinner by myself but I am making dessert.

Demon:Well I think you missed the point but-

Demon:I smell sweets

Tiny GF:They're fudge brownies, I usually eat them by

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Challenge #01240-C145: New Tricks

I accidentally summoned a demon and have won the last 4 rounds of poker against it. -- Gallifreya

Sandy sighed and said, "You're not supposed to show me the cards and ask, 'how do I win?', Belphagor."

"You keep changing the rules," grumbled the demon.

"No, I keep telling you the same rules and you keep getting confused. Let's try again," Sandy reclaimed the cards and shuffled. "I thought the demons of hell were all about sinful stuff."

The demon brightened.

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Challenge #01239-C144: Read Before Signing

I accidentally summoned a demon -- Gallifreya

Belphagor looked around. It was a dusty old book shop. One of those poky little places that almost, but not quite, lead to another reality. The shopkeepers certainly seemed like they had once lived in one, and never quite got the hang of the new reality.

Facing him was an art student. They had to be an art student because the homeless tended to consume way less coffee. And your average bum tended to care

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Challenge #01238-C143: Harrying the Harmful

"They turned me into a newt!"

"... You're a salamander."

"I got better." -- Gallifreya

[AN: A little tip of the hat-rack to Monty Python?]

The Swamps of Misdirection. The only way to escape them, once inside, was to follow confusing, convoluted, "can't miss it" directions to somewhere else. And worse - most of the animals in it were capable of speech.

"Beware, traveller! Beware! Dangerous sorcerers roam this swamp." The speaker was a small amphibian. Mostly black, but with interestingly bright speckles

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Challenge #01237-C142: Strange on a Train

http://simonbitdiddle.vaul-tec.net/post/143205168842 -- Gallifreya

Ah crap. Once again, the only seat on the train home was the Weirdo Seat. The ones where all the mentally disturbed just had to sit. And anyone unlucky enough to have to sit next to them had to endure their madness by osmosis.

Euphoria Jones weighed her options. It was a long-ass ride home. Her feet were already killing her from hours chasing after idiot customer requests. Including numerous trips into "the back"

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Challenge #01219-C124: The Truth About Dragons

http://crescentmoondemon.tumblr.com/post/142716976033 -- Anon Guest

They say that dragons are terrifying beasts. They say that their appetites know no bounds. They say that they thrive on fear. They say that they hoard things just to keep them from mortal hands. They say a lot of things, really. Especially after they've had a few pints, down at the local pub.

Eve knew differently.

For starters, Dragons are more than fine with a sheep or a cow once a month.

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Challenge #01217-C122: Curses!

:when a person who has been living with their curse for some time decides to stand up for the abused, and Sanctioned Mages try to put them down:

Spell slinging against a cursed one and a legendary sword. How hard can it be? -- RecklessPrudence

The words had come in anger and magic. Latching onto her soul. Devouring her destiny with simple words, "You will fail at every one of your stated goals."

It hadn't meant much, at first. Her goals had

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Challenge #01214-C119: Don't Send Me an Angel

http://khaleesijade.tumblr.com/post/142561344474/what-do-angels-actually-look-like-per-the-bible

Angel: “FEAR NOT.”

Shepherds: screaming

Angel: “I SAID FEAR NOT.”

Shepherds: screaming LOUDER

Angel: “WHAT PART OF FEAR NOT ARE YOU NOT UNDERSTANDING?” -- Gallifreya

[AN: The link supplied contains images that might be disturbing to those who don't read biblical accounts of what angels look like]

From the Expurgated Gospel of Tebol the Shepherd:

And the Lord sent an Angel unto Tebol, and the Angel had unto itself twelve wings, half of them like

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Challenge #01197-C102: The Eternal Soldier

http://jewliesparks.tumblr.com/post/131527892833/wwii-era-vampires -- Gallifreya

He should have been 4F because he was 'allergic to sunlight' on his forms. But he told them that if he coated his exposed skin in zinc oxide, and wore sunglasses, he could deal. They gave him gloves to wear. And the fellows in the 40th Foot called him Warpaint. The enemy came to know him as The Ghost, owing to the fact that most of his sunscreen was white-only.

He could pass

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