Myths Illogical

A 182-post collection

Challenge #01091-B359: Here There Be Dragon Nesting Grounds

About learning a new way of breathing fire from her partner, that involves... well... nuclear fusion:

She's kept it a secret, yes. Long flights over the ocean... enormous detonations... a romantic evening for two dragons. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: Sounds more like nuclear fission, but whatevs]

The tiny island had been turned to glass where it hadn't been turned to soot. And even the soot had burned off. And the heat from within spoke of lava, but Relikor could not sense any other hint of volcanic activity. He still lounged across the searing hot stones and looked up at his new mate.

"Serilka... how is it that this entire island is glass?"

"It's from my experiments. I have long used this island as a testing ground. And now it's most suitable for nesting."

Indeed. The shallow, glass bowl in the centre of the island was perfect for a clutch of eggs. And a brooding parent atop them. And the entire place was just large enough for two dragons to nurse a clutch without getting on each other's nerves.

Of course, they'd all go their own way once the little ones could fly, but for now... it was paradise.

"And what experiments have you been performing, O glorious Serilka?"

"Do you see the whaling vessel, yonder?"

Relikor spotted the distant ship. From the looks of things, it was also harvesting shark fins. "Oh yes. I see them."

"Watch." She stood on her hind legs and inhaled deeply. Building her fires to the point where she glowed from within. And then she let fly, not with fire, but with a ball of bright plasma to rival the sun. It skated above the water until it met the whaler and then...

A flash of light so bright that it eclipsed all vision. A thunder so loud that it could not be heard. A plume of steam that burned as it caught fire. Catastrophic waves in a circle around where the ship had once been, threatening to cause tsunamis for the unlucky for miles to come.

This was power beyond measure. A means by which to conquer the very globe. And she had chosen him to sire a strong and healthy clutch of babies. Relikor felt honoured.

"New words must be invented to encapsulate your magnificence," he breathed.

Serilka gloated and preened. "And if we hurry, we can feast on boiled fish," she added.

And mayhap join bodies while they were at wing. Relikor grinned as he took to the air after his mate. He would do his utmost to please her, oh yes.

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Challenge #01089-B357: Sympathy for the Demons

http://iopele.tumblr.com/post/135904233152/bluandorange-selkiecomrade-selkiecomrade

There was a large amount added to the Satan Claus post. -- Anon Guest

Demons across the multitudinous arenas of hell flinched. Their master was angry. Their master was calling.

"BELPHAGOOOOORRRRRRR!"

And that one demon was in deep, deep trouble.

The demon could not disobey the call of his master. He ran to the Great Office with his black heart pounding and his forked tongue knotted in fear. "I have come, master."

The Lord of

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Challenge #01088-B356: Catch of the Day

http://deathcomes4u.tumblr.com/post/135909651673/mythsofthesea-faerytale-wings-merman-and -- Anon Guest

[AN: Epileptics, beware of the gif background]

The water was her second home. People who knew Nel said that they were waiting for her to grow gills. The people of Nothéré Island knew her so well that she once attended a job interview in a bikini and flipflops. Nel knew everywhere on Nothéré in relation to the closest or the most convenient swimming location.

And it was one summer afternoon after a

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Challenge #01084-B352: One Early Dawn Ceremony Far From His Master's Tower

http://paintdripps.tumblr.com/post/133942666585/magic-aus-for-all-your-magic-au-needs

One more time -- Gallifreya

The demon looked down at the circle around the mage. "Yer kiddin' me, right?" it said. It looked like a human shape, but it was obviously not human. For a start, its skin was as black as coal, and its demonic eyes burned with their own fire.

"Avaunt, foul beast," said Tra'gyk the mage. He held up his binding talisman. "I hath summoned thee with my mighty magic and thou

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Challenge #01083-B351: Dir Satan...

http://iopele.tumblr.com/post/135497280792/incurablenecromantic-eccentricmisseclectic

"Give me a heartwarming Christmas movie about Satan traveling around the world every Christmas to deliver presents to all the young kids and kids with learning disorders and disabilities who misspell “Santa” on their Christmas letters every year"

"And Santa’s all like, “You know, I can handle a few spelling mistakes, I got this,” and Lucifer is like “They’re addressed to me, fuck off, I’m doing it.”"

"Lucifer being protective of his

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Challenge #01082-B350: Haunted Model

http://tobiasandguy.tumblr.com/post/135382746545/selfie-its-harder-when-you-attract-unseen

Being followed around by invisible things that only show up on camera - and are always pulling faces when you want a nice picture. -- Gallifreya

"Just... don't. Don't take my photo. You'll regret it."

"What? But you're gorgeous."

He sighed. "I attract photobombing ghosts. It gets... ugly."

"Have you tried a--"

"Every psychic I could find. I even stroll those psychic reader tables at the mall. None of them can see or sense them.

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Challenge #01081-B349: Found Divinity

Prometheus, and all the other 'gave knowledge to mortals and was cast down for it' gods/goddesses/other mythical figures from various mythologies, being found by mortals, rescued from their punishments, and thanked properly. Even if it's only the first one being found, and the realisation that the others exist, and must be helped. -- RecklessPrudence

[AN: After a little bit of Wiki Wandering, Prometheus is the only one who got punished for sharing wisdom... but I can pretend there's others]

The

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Challenge #01060-B328: In the Middle of a Faery Tale

http://paintdripps.tumblr.com/post/133942666585/magic-aus-for-all-your-magic-au-needs

And a third -- Gallifreya

Gloria had been combing her hair by the river when a wandering man stumbled upon her. He stood there, gaping like a landed fish, until Gloria started braiding it up.

"Fair maiden, I beg your boon," he began. "I am labouring under a terrible curse. A foul witch decreed that I must never refuse an opportunity for generosity until such time as a maiden bestows her true love's kiss."

Hm.

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Challenge #01058-B326: Desperate Measures

http://paintdripps.tumblr.com/post/133942666585/magic-aus-for-all-your-magic-au-needs

Pick one -- Gallifreya

Cam had had enough. Their entire adventure across half the realm had been full of bailing out of flirting. Near misses and excruciating closeness mixed with nigh-intolerable formality.

It had been painful. Didn't Bes know how awesome she was? How wonderful she was for everyone around her. It wasn't that she had a Bard's natural glamour. It was all charm and charisma. And... just being Bes.

All Cam could think about

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Challenge #01057-B325: Angels Unawares

http://soluscrow.tumblr.com/post/133913436559/modernaukeats-texts-between-angels-trying-to

Angels living among the mortals -- Gallifreya

Mrs Getherty had always been in the neighbourhood. And she had always been a little strange. For instance, she invited the local evangelists in for tea and cookies. And a nice, long chat that somehow devoured their entire day, covered nothing, and roamed from topic to topic like an indecisive kid with one dollar to spend in the candy store.

Nobody could remember when she wasn't a slightly

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Challenge #01055-B323: Eventual Amity

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/133857707605/jcatgrl-copperbadge-persinetteinthetower

Domestic life after the baby dilemma -- Gallifreya

Gloria was crying. She'd been crying for hours.

Disastra moaned. She hadn't slept enough to focus her magic. Therefore she used her wand to prod Calamity. "It's your turn."

"N'h did it las' time..."

"No you didn't, I did it last time. GO!"

"...five mo' minutes..."

"NO! YOU HAD THE STUPID IDEA TO STEAL A STUPID BRAT!"

"You had th' same one," Calamity grumbled. She, too, had

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Challenge #01054-B322: Joint Custody

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/133857707605/jcatgrl-copperbadge-persinetteinthetower

Two separate magical entities turn up for the same baby. -- Gallifreya

They both appeared at the christening. Calamity in a plume of green fire and Disastra in a cloud of roiling purple smoke. Both with identical words.

"Give me the child!"

The proud parents recognised one of them and boggled at the other. Then at their spouse.

"I can explain," they both said.

He had paid for an invulnerable armour with the life of

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Challenge #01049-B317: Ashes to Ash...

http://outfromtheinkwell.tumblr.com/post/133600270753/latessitrice-absinthenoir

The woes of an Italian vampire -- Gallifreya

[AN: Trying to write this without sounding racist]

I didn't know what I'd become when I stumbled home to Mama. I could remember an attack. I remember that the early dawn light burned my skin. I remember... being ill. Not being able to take in Mama's cooking. Being so thirsty. And always tired during the day.

Mama did what she could. She kept the sun away from

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Challenge #01048-B316: Afoot in the Grove

Pick one or more items from this list - it just sounded so much like the sort of things you'd think up that I HAD to share... http://howlingguardian.tumblr.com/post/133493640614/
(post reproduced below in case of link failure)

Talk fantasy prosthetics to me.

An elf maiden dances on feet of living wood sung into shape, planted in soil and watered when she takes them off. Every year she plants the old ones and sings a new pair. (Incidentally, the

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Challenge #01047-B315: Economy Exorcism

http://haberdashing.tumblr.com/post/133438233764/breelandwalker-witchbxi-spirit-haunts-a -- Gallifreya

They looked like the typical whitebread couple who scoffed at the warnings that their new home was haunted until things got beyond the line of wilful ignorance. Candace listened to their story, and it ran the entire gamut of that sad story.

They fell in love with the place. Didn't believe in the supernatural. Laughed at the thought of ghosts. Little incidents escalated. And they escalated quickly. And the next thing they knew,

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