Menu

Subscribe

JOATs

A 9-post collection

Challenge #02270-F080: Location, Location, Location

On a spaceship a human salesman (yes, you aren't even safe in space from them) promotes his Product "FlexseALL" (just Flexseal with a different name). He has the same attitude of Phil and showtests his products on literally ever Problem on the Ship. And it works!

Even on the leaks, the engine, the air vents,...

Go crazy with your own ideas. And thank you for your time :-) -- Anon Guest

[AN: Thanks for making me see that with my own eyes. I think...]

In space, no-one can hear you spruik... Danthar Regis had practically talked their tongue out about this product. Demonstrated until his elbows creaked. Showed them how it worked, how well it worked, its versatility in temperatures approaching zero Kelvin to thousands of degrees Celcius.

What he hadn't known, until he collected a reconciliatory sandwich in a local diner, was that most cogniscents who passed through that particular concourse didn't anticipate a long stay. So they wore their livesuits and heavily filtered all possible inputs to strictly the destinations or things they were interested in.

Dan groaned. "I spent two shifts[1], out there. Two. I used so many volumes of that for demonstrations and... nobody was paying attention?"

Support me on Patreon / Buy me a Ko-fi

Continue Reading

Prompts remaining: 48 Submit a Prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!

Challenge #01946-E122: Change for the Better

Paper clips, rubber bands, and the ever reliable wire coat-hanger. -- Anon Guest

In accordance with Galactic Standards and Practices verses the JOAT Conglomerate, all Standard Screws will now feature a slot to accommodate the use of a 5 Sec Coin in lieu of any screwdriver.

Truly. This was a day of victory. Of course, the fine print under the announcement reassured business owners that secure spaces were still allowed to use non-standard fastenings, so long as they provided the relevant tools

Read more »

Challenge #01941-E117: Well Met, Helpmeet

Third hand, semi trained person needed to "here hold this'," Pass tools, shine lights. -- Anon Guest

There are only so many fates when you're an orphan, and Krop figured he was one of the luckier ones. Sold to a travelling show as a crewman's prentice. The food was a great deal better than orphanage food, but you could say that about any food outside of an orphanage or a monastery. In one, the meals were bland and austere because the monks

Read more »

Challenge #01768-D307: The Endless Cycle

"I have heaps of stuff I use and need. I've even got them sorted and stored. So Why do I have to go back and buy stuff?" No matter what you do for a hobby this happens. -- Knitnan

There is an old saying: If you want to fill a space, get a hobby.

It doesn't matter what the hobby is, be it something big, like model building, or something relatively small, like handicrafts. Sooner or later... it happens. SABLE. Stash Above

Read more »

Challenge #01613-D152: Quality Control

"Nothing says unprofessional like wrinkles in the duct tape." -- RecklessPrudence

Of all the useful concepts and handy inventions that the humans took into space with them, the most widely-dispersed was ductape. It even preceded dogs as an ambassador for humanity. A watertight adhesive patch that could be shaped to suit the user's needs. Cut to demand. Flexible. And infinitely useful.

After a few hundred years, standards for its use grew. Including the quality of the user based on how ze applied

Read more »

Challenge #01414-C319: If it Ain't Broke...

"If it isn't broke don't fix it." -- Knitnan

It was a rule every JOAT broke, sooner or later. The desire to tweak, finesse, and otherwise improve something in their radius of activity would become overwhelming.

Tel found it extremely difficult resist, stranded on a comms station that had barely enough life support for technical staff. She had edible algae making her air, and a daily supply of algae cakes that kept her alive. But also bored out of her skull.

At

Read more »

Challenge #01387-C292: Ancient Wisdom

Measure twice, cut once, useful advice for anyone. -- Anon Guest

Rael knew he should have checked up on Shayde sooner. She had a knack for teaching new JOATs all the wrong tricks.

Chiefly: "Measure wi' micrometer, mark wi' chalk, cut wi' axe."

So, after hearing this, he simply had to barge in and defend his own honour. "The real adage, Trainee Melkith, is 'measure twice, cut once'. Ambassador Shayde labours under the misapprehension that she is funny."

"I was tellin' 'er

Read more »

Challenge #01338-C243: Inconvenience Job

The dreaded 5 minute job. Almost always guaranteed to blossom into hours of frustration and searching for the 'right' tools. -- Knitnan

Time is money. Literally. Citizens of the Galactic Alliance pay for things in increments of time. And since the humans came along, some money has names.

For unknown reasons, five Minutes is a Zac. Ten Minutes is a Bob, and Thirty Minutes is known as the Five-Minute Job.

Human nicknames will forever confuse other cogniscents.

But not those cogniscents who

Read more »

Challenge #01337-C242: Unnecessary Invention

It's not only necessity, it's wire coat hangers, paper clips, and to quote Thomas Edison, "All you need to be an inventor is Imagination and a pile of junk." -- Knitnan

[AN: Edison probably stole that line from Tesla ;) ]

Station residents called it the Labyrinth, if they knew about it at all. Every station that's been around long enough acquires a zone that fades through neglect and into an area where people who don't want to be found are wont to hide.

Read more »