Instant Story

Flash fiction fresh from my fingers to your mind!

Romantic vs Classicist*

A seemingly eternal argument between some friends and I.

*As defined by a philosophy student who was party to some of them - he later admitted he got the definitions from ‘Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance’.

“Form follows Function. A well-built machine, designed to last decades if not longer, has a quiet craftsmanship, an economical beauty, which no amount of pointless frippery or gilding - or, indeed, curved plastic - can ever match.”

“But much art has no function, as you would define it. Would you say that the Mona Lisa, or the Sistine Chapel are not beautiful?”

“They’re in a different category altogether, we’re talking about things that have an intrinsic function, don’t change the subject. And yet - find me one wasted brushstroke, on either of those. Gaudiness is tacky for a reason, and it’s one that should be applied more generally.”

“You speak of economical beauty, but I remember you raving over that machine that, in your words: 'had care lavished over every detail, no matter how minor.’ How does that match any definition of economical?”

…And on and on. It’s been going for years, seriously. (I may have embroidered the dialogue a little, but the points are the same) – RecklessPrudence(?) [AN: Forgot to check. Sorry]

(#00423 - A048)

“Care and attention to detail are essential for form and function to be compatible. You can have a machine that does the job and looks ugly. You can have a machine that does the same job and looks like a poet made it.”

“Poets don’t build things. They write poetry. Tha-that’s why they’re called poets, dummins.”

“That’s not the point and you know it.”

“All I know is I’m g-gonna be in trouble with Paige.”

“Rabbit, for the third time, that refrigerator was not 'giving you the eye’. It doesn’t have eyes.”

“It ain’t my fault I’m too be-beautiful for this world.”

The Spine sighed and wondered, not for the first time, why Pappy had built them all with human-shaped bodies. With all the inherent human wants and desires somehow inveigled into their robotic makeup. “Rabbit…” he shook his head. “Why do we have to have this conversation every time we enter a white goods store?”

“Y-y-y-y-you stay away from me, ya bunch'a hussies,” Rabbit edged away from a display of blenders.

“They’re not even turned on, Rabbit.”

“With us around? Are you ki-k-k-kidding?”

This was why he always asked Mr Walter if he was certain he wanted robotic help with the heavy lifting.

[Muse food remaining: 41. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Pugs.

Because you can’t say Peter Lorre and not get my attention.  Something to do with an Uplifted pug or pugs.  Possibly freaking everyone out with their good intentions couched in their minion-ish voices. – weirdlet

(#00422 - A047)

Buddy, Igor knew, was not the best dog for the negotiations table. Buddy would literally say ‘yes’ to anything, provided someone was scratching his ear.

Igor… tried.

He had Buddy fitted up with the Diminished Responsibility locator bracelets, of

Read more »

Challenge #00421 - A046: A Peculiar, Yet Typical Argument

If no-one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad an idea?

“Yes it is,” said Rael, gently shoving Ambassador Shayde onwards. “Especially when time travel is a theoretical impossibility trapped in the realms of science fiction.”

“They said tha’ about goin’ tae the moon. Now look at it.”

“That’s not the point and you know it.”

“Ach, why’d ye have tae

Read more »

Lady slings the booze.

It’s been shown that Mystique (in her comic incarnation, at least), when her ability to focus is sufficiently thrown-off by illness, drugs, emotional shock, or othersuch concentration breakers, that her ability to shapeshift is disrupted, to the point that she can’t maintain a form, often shifting uncontrollably/unconsciously or even sporting features from multiple recently-assumed forms at once in a Picasso-esque jigsaw.  Once I learned about that, I couldn’t help but wonder just what sort of

Read more »

Challenge #00419 - A044: So Long, Lefty Loosey

It turned out the galactic standard for things that screw onto other things was the opposite direction to the international Earth standard.

“What the– this screw isn’t turning.”

“It’s an old-Earth vessel.”

“Yeah? So?”

“They have it backwards. Counter-clockwise loosens their screws.”

Sigh. “Typical human insanity. How hard is it to learn ‘Counter time, fix it fine’?”

“Given the trouble they keep giving us

Read more »

Coming very soon to my Smashwords Profile: One Year of Instants. Three hundred and sixty-five stories, all prompted by readers of my blog....

Coming very soon to my Smashwords Profile:

One Year of Instants.

Three hundred and sixty-five stories, all prompted by readers of my blog. Now in an easy-to-access format where you don’t have to plough through my archives.

YOU DECIDE HOW MUCH ONE YEAR OF MY LIFE IS WORTH!

Yeah. Ultimate power. What’s not to love?

Read more »

Challenge #00409 - A044: Intergalactic Ambassador Spot

“We’re here to conquer yo-

Awww lookit the cute little fuzzy. Whooosa fuzzy.”

Sir, the aliens seem to have become distracted.

Only humans, they later said, could take a pursuit predator and make it completely servile. And for some time in the Galactic Alliance, it was something of a mystery as to where and when dogs originally hailed from.

Some refused to believe that such a useful animal could come from the same planet as “a bunch

Read more »

Challenge #00408 - A043: Releasing Pressure

Carbonated drinks: for most creatures, a harmless fizzy beverage.

However if your species happens to be incapable of burping to release the gas, a painful experience. Perhaps not deadly, but certainly not comfortable. 

Gox stared at the beverage. At the perpetual bubbles within. In his experience, bubbles came out and never came back.

This was one amongst the many new things he was dubious about encountering as a reluctant ambassador.

“Why do the bubbles form?”

“It’s a

Read more »

Challenge #00407 - A042: Temptrotica's Big Test

Aaand another one

http://callmegallifreya.tumblr.com/post/73660380194/littlemissmochablue-lalonde-strider-i-want-a

[AN: I would consider it a courtesy that the original poster of these ideas is notified that said idea has become a thing. I can’t always do so myself]

Life was generally easy for a succubus. For starters, she never had to go hungry, so long as there were MRAs in the world.

It usually went like this:

1) Find the nearest neck-beard with a trilby on his head who

Read more »

Challenge #00406 - A041: One Sad Afternoon on a Street Corner of NuFurria

Found another one

http://deathcomes4u.tumblr.com/post/73661805922/buggy-heichou-rotking-johnthedragon

Walking was a problem. And it was a problem because of Boxing.

When an owner got tired of their Uplift, or the cute Bull-Terrier/Wolf pup became too big, or it chewed the furniture or peed on things or otherwise acted like a dog who the owner hadn’t bothered to train… they were put in a box, and left on a corner, and told to wait for someone to

Read more »

Challenge #00405 - A040: The Most Important Lessons

Fairytales don’t tell children that dragons exist. Children already know this instinctively. Fairytales tell children that dragons can be killed. - G K Chesterton, with some posthumous turning of phrase by others. –RecklessPrudence

Mom found her literally up to her neck in the archives. Books held her place in other books. Notes hung out of yet more books like exhausted, multiple tongues.

“It’s getting late,” she said.

Danny looked up. Then around herself. “Uhm.

Read more »

Ever met someone you feel like this about?

“The first time I saw them, I don’t know, I just wanted to kick their arse. I wanted to build a machine to kick their arse. I wanted to found an empire to house the machine to kick their arse!” – RecklessPrudence

(#00404 - A039)

Rael briefly considered the effort that all that would take. “So… you think you may be in love with Hwell Barrow?”

She boggled at him. “Ye think I swallowed

Read more »

Challenge #00403 - A038: Come Fly With Me

“If you’re falling off a cliff you may as well try to fly, you’ve got nothing to lose.” - John Sheridan (Babylon 5) c/- RecklessPrudence

Douglas Adams once said that flying is the art of throwing oneself at the ground and missing. J. M. Barrie thought that flight required pixie dust and happy thoughts.

The truth is far more complicated. Especially when traveling at terminal velocity towards impending doom.

“Can’t you shadow-jump

Read more »

Challenge #00402 - A037: First Resort of Fools

Ahh, the eternal paradox: A quick wit is best accompanied by quick reflexes, but a dull wit is best complemented by a sharp blade. – RecklessPrudence

“Ey up. Here’s trouble.”

Rael followed her line of sight. There were two of them. A big, burly lump of a biped who, because he wore grey clothes meant to wear hard, had to be the enforcement. Accompanying the cogniscent mountain was a smaller, lither being who, despite being reptilian, could only

Read more »

Challenge #00401 - A036: Assistant's Assistance

Once nonhuman Terran species were uplifted into greater levels of sentience, the concept of ‘service animal’ changed a great deal.  (I wanna see how that concept would apply to sentient nonhuman Terran species..  Like, a blind sentient cat with a seeing-eye ferret or something - you get the gist)

Augments were legal. Uplifts were not. Especially not Uplifts like the unfortunate populations teeming about Nufurria.

They existed, and because they existed, the Galactic Alliance had to help them. No cogniscent

Read more »