Instant Story

Flash fiction fresh from my fingers to your mind!

Challenge #00551 - A176: Party Life

Person 1: Didn’t you blow up a planet somehow while you having a year long kegger?

Person 2: First; it was merely rendered uninhabitable. Second; the party lasted two and a half years. — RecklessPrudence

There are generally two ways to react when one is the last of one’s kind.

Kirov chose the other one.

He had but one life to live, though it was a long one, and elected to enjoy every last moment. He travelled from world to world, seeking the best of entertainments and some good, old-fashioned debauchery.

Of course he maintained the funds to support any half-breeds that occurred. He willed them his old home-planet -for all it was worth- and continued on celebrating the end of his kind.

It is said that a being exists for as long as other beings speak their name. And Kirov seemed bound and determined to become a galactic legend.

But it wasn’t all parties and sex. He enjoyed the quiet as much as any other intelligent creature.

This morning, he settled in to one of Amalgam Station’s Observation Benches to watch the chaos surrounding the new Jogging Track. Though it was festooned with cautionary signage, the sight of a running human or more still caused a panic.

He’d bought popcorn.

The nearest sign read: Humans run here for fun. Remain calm.

Another, nearby, read: Caution! Humans running recreationally.

Kirov guessed that they would be posting more at half Distance Unit lengths, before long.

Here one came. A tall creature with ebony skin. Her white hair bound up in a bouncing braid. Well… most of it. The rest of her was clad in a track suit in hazard colours. She spotted him and slowed to trot in place.

“‘Ere I know you,” she chirped. “Yer that feller that blew up a planet in a year-long kegger.”

“It was a two-year festival and I merely rendered a marginally-uninhabitable planetoid to be completely so,” he corrected. “Rumours of my effect on places is greatly… distorted. I funded the inevitable evacuation and the clean-up. Keeps some folks in employ.”

She grinned at this, still bouncing, and showing off sharp, white teeth. “Oh aye. Ye got tae swing round next Ambassador Meet. Liven the place oop a touch. T’ wee girlie from Hevun’s got the right idea, but you? You’d make it special.”

Definitely human, for all appearances to the contrary.

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Challenge #00550 - A175: Black-boxing It

Taken from an author talking about a piece of tech in their setting:

They’ve tried reverse engineering the displacement engine before. It goes a little like this:

Your moon is now a pretzel.

Your research is invalid. – RecklessPrudence

“So what is it?”

“I can’t figure it out,” said Helba, getting her facts out in the open. “I know what it does, it makes the gravity in this… place…” Station, ship&

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Challenge #00549 - A174: Absence of Wenching

http://yoquinto.tumblr.com/post/78790240270/okay-but-a-story-about-an-asexual-pirate-who-gets

I really should stop sending these t you every time I find them, sorry.

[AN: Don’t you bloody dare stop! I love getting prompts FYI the post isn’t there any more, but I found this one thanks to searching: http://silentmercenary.tumblr.com/post/84994393370/yoquinto-okay-but-a-story-about-an-asexual :) If anyone knows where Yoquinto has gone, please let them know that their imaginings have become a thing]

In any bar, tavern, or lowly dive,

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Challenge #00548 - A173: Maybe a Not-Too-Distant Future

“It’s pronounced X”

“I thought it was Y?”

“No, that’s exactly the sort of mistake I’d expect from someone like you. I’m a /real/ fan, I’ve been an expert on this since before you were born.”

“Actually, it is Y, the kid was right, and you’ve no call to go around acting like that to people.”

“And who are you?”

“I’m the author.”

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Challenge #00547 - A172: Need to Know

Prompt: That trick where you come up behind someone and pop a paper bag to make them jump, most often portrayed when someone is working on something that could (but probably won’t) explode.

[AN: I must have hit a nerve on the Interwebs, yesterday. Twenty-three notes on one silly story because of an equally silly side-fling. Must resist the temptation to do that from now on]

To the Galactic Alliance, need-to-know information is information that every citizen, denizen and in denizen

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Challenge #00546 - A171: Witch on Trial

I don’t curse people, I bless everyone around them.”

The court murmured.

“It’s stated that you cursed Goodie Carswater and her garden wilted.”

“I did no such thing. And it’s a well-known fact that her little tearaways widdle on her wisterias.”

More murmuring. Apparently the only person who didn’t know this was Goodie Carswater. Who also believed that her sons could do no wrong.

“It’s also stated that you cursed Thou-shalt-not-covet Jones

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Challenge #00545 - A170: Acapella

It was a companionable quiet, with the rhythmic “whud, whud, whud” of the engine accompanied by various tapping and clanking of everyone doing their jobs. Eventually everyone’s noises gradually synced with the main beat and suddenly the Lion King happened.

“I swear sir, I left for four seconds and they started a musical number" 

Goryx stared out at the rows of humans - still working, of course - as they continued to sing.

"TILL WE FIND OUR PLACE,

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Challenge #00544 - A169: The Fine Print

If you’re going to make a year-long agreement, you’d better be sure you know whose year you’re using.

“What do you mean I’m still under contract?” Terry demanded. She tried not to make a fist around all her vital documents. “It says five years. It’s been five years. And forty-eight hours, and that’s only because it took that long to get all the forms filled out.”

“I’

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Challenge #00544 - A169: The Un-Secret

Dunno if you’ll like this one, but I ran across it:

“The thing about evolving on a death world is that you don’t really realize you’re doing so until you get the chance to leave it. Up to that point the presence of carnivorous monsters, venomous micropredators, extreme climatic conditions, geological instability, the most lethal cocktail of microbial and viral life forms in the galaxy and of course the crushing gravity, seemed entirely natural. Until we left Earth

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Challenge #00543 - A168: Sufficiently Advanced... Rituals

[In a discussion about technically-proficient people (of any subdivision) and the lies-to-children told to those they have to interact with]

I think we know why wizards just act all cryptic and stuff…

I imagine they had to keep explaining their knowledge of the arcane to the average peasant over and over again until they just got fed up with it.

And that’s how we get wizards, mages and sorcerers who seem to delight in not giving a straight answer. – RecklessPrudence

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Challenge #00542 - A167: One Familiar Face

“That’s 19, last question.”

“Ok, it’s a person, a guy, dark haired, kinda short, amnesiac, fast healing/possibly immortal, older than 200 years, uses bladed weapons, knows lots of martial arts, and fights against people trying to take over and/or destroy the world.”

"Yep.”

“Is it Wolverine?”

“What? No, it was Van Helsing.”

“…”

“…”

*dawning realisation*

No way…”

“Mr Logan?”

“Yeh, Tallwater?”

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Challenge #00541 - A166: Ancient Curses

Fragmen of stupri mauris. Quare non opus est? — RecklessPrudence

[AN: I ran this through a translator and got: “Piece of fucking shit. Why not work?” :D LOL ]

There’s working on repairs with trained technicians… and then there’s working with someone who’s learned certain things by rote as part of a holy ritual. Someone who - though she had the brains to work out that the rituals were supposed to be useful, and had successfully applied some of them in

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Challenge #00540 - A165: Opus Apparatus Spurius

Series of posts, each blank line denotes a new poster:

[Comparing real-life understanding of tech by the people maintaining it to a fictional universe] Of course, this is minus the stupid witch doctor rituals.

“Have you tried turning it off and on again?” comes to mind. And a lot of other rituals.

Doesn’t that actually help with a significant portion of callers?

[Fictional universe organisation] rituals work too, except when they don’t. Doesn’t make it any less

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Challenge #00539 - A164: Come to Australia (You Might Accidentally Get Killed)

“On most airplanes, in an emergency oxygen masks will be deployed from above your seat. This is an Australian airplane however; in an emergency, we will deploy drop bears from above your seat.”

Either way, the lack of oxygen problem is quickly solved. – RecklessPrudence

“What? Why would you do something that barbaric?” Esterhazy boggled.

“Well, the oxygen systems are tied to the landing gear, see,” Shirl expanded without missing a beat. “If there’

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