Challenge

Anywhere in the story: “There is no font size big enough to describe the ‘oh shit’ that is about to occur.”

The body corporate had done it. They’d finally leashed the beast of their own making. They controlled the internet. And there wasn’t even time to celebrate.

“Now, we need to start talking about the three 'sisses’. Censorship, sponsorship, and shill. Every single page, every site, every last goddamn corner of the internet is controlled by us, so let’s start earning.”

“Sir?”

“in a minute, Weatherby.” The rich, older, white man had his mind only on his plans. “First order of the agenda: heteronormitivity. Anything that isn’t man plus woman vanishes. Second, gender role reassignment. Let’s get all those bitches back in the kitchen. Third–”

“Sir, this is really important.”

“Weatherby, I do control whether or not you keep your job…”

“But sir…” Weatherby pointed out the window.

They were on the twenty-fifth floor, but they could still be seen. Not the random flow of pinhead-points of different colours, but a sea of them flowing inexorably towards their building. Even up here, they could hear the distant strains of Les Miserables sung by thousands of voices.

“Sir,” said Weatherby. “There is no font size big enough to describe the 'oh shit’ that is about to occur.”

Something slammed against the nearby window, causing all in the boardroom to startle. Everyone stared as it unfolded into a poster-sized lolcat with red eyes and fluffed fur.

It read, Ohai. We’re frum the internets. You pissed us off. kthxbai.

The CEO’s face fell. All those people. All of them. They had once had their genius minds distracted by fandoms, lolcats and porn. Now that their addiction was censored and controlled…

…they had nothing better to do than get really creative on the asses of those who censored and controlled it.

A second poster landed and unfurled against the glass. It was tub girl. With the legend, The internet is for PORN!

Weatherby was right.

A third. A cute little girl in a frilly dress inside a motivational border. Its caption read, OH SHIT! and underneath, You’re all going to die.

It was now going to be a question of how they were going to survive.

Or even… if…

[AN: Sign the petition to stop CISPA here!]

[Muse food remaining: 9. Submit a prompt! Ask a question!]

Parent: [Character name]? How much uranium is in the house…?

Child: [after much dancing about about whether it’s uranium at all, and if so, how much] Okay, a lot…

“Jachyx…” came the warning call of Parental Prime. “How much uranium is in the house?”

Jachyx hid her work and emerged from her private space. “Who says I have any uranium?”

“Security detected fissionable material, grubling.”

Gah. She hated it

You’ll have to forgive my uncle, sir. He has a very unique sense of humor which involves not being funny.

Since she wasn’t riding horses, today’s costume was that of a paige. She was too tall and not chesty enough for the typical wench and the material still hadn’t come through for her chatelaine outfit, it was either a paige or a time traveller and people tended to be hostile to the latter.

Sara

    Old software engineering joke: “Write your code as if it’ll be read three months later by a homicidal psychotic who knows where you live.”

    Spoiler: You know where you live, and will have to read your code three months later, when you’ve forgotten what much of it does.

“Who the hell was the fucktard who wrote this goddamn ugly shitty mess of shitty shit fuck!”

The entire cubicle labyrinth prairie dogged their heads above

In days to come, he would reflect upon the premature nature of that thought. He would ponder it, as a sinner pondered the inexplicable actions of an irritated deity. He would wonder if perhaps, by allowing himself to think it, he had angered the God of Perversity, and Murphy, who is His Prophet. It was the only offense he could think of that might have explained what happened next.

(#000106)

He should never have asked, “What could possibly go wrong?”

Imperial China. They actually had royal dragon caretakers on the payroll. Logic says that this was due to them either having actual dragons (read: dinosaurs), or the Emperor had done off the deep end again. If they really did have dinosaurs they were almost certainly plant eaters … but that doesn’t allow us to imagine T-Rex cavalry fighting alongside stupidly large infantry armies, and that should be it’s own goal.

(#00105)

[AN: Given the nature of actual Chinese

At some point, someone (Sara? Somebody in your own setting?) defines Patience.

Patience, noun: the state of having too many witnesses.

(#00104)

“We reviewed the evidence and personal testimonies,” said the brown-robed Archivaas. “And we thought we might work with you to.. re-evaluate history’s view of Ernest Hackmeyer.”

“That plagiaristic bastard can go rot in fire,” Shayde said cheerily as she poured tea. “Is he goin’ from bafflin’ genius tae scum-suckin&

“Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up.”

“That’s a scary quote from you, hon,” said Todd.

Sara, waist-deep in the workings of Cerebro, said, “Granted, it is problematic. Fortunately, my murderous tendencies remain confined in the socially acceptable forum of fiction. But it is rather apropos.”

Todd quickly put two and two together. “You mean this aint a

Asteroids: Nature’s way of asking “So, how’s that space program coming along?”

“What I don’t get is that we’ve had the technology for years but we’re all just sitting around and watching these rocks fly by.”

“Getting into space is expensive. And when you think about it, Earth’s the best defense against asteroids there is.”

“Shyeah. Tell that to the dinosaurs.”

“

When the end of the world came, it was in a form no-one had anticipated.

(#000101)

“And you’re sure this will initiate the -um- whatchamacallit.”

“Personal temporal stability field. Yes. One push of a button and I can live forever and never age.” Greedy fingers gently caressed the alligator switch. “My telomeres will be stable. I’ll continue to move forward in time, but time will have no effect on me. I won’

Write a story based on any part of this song. I recommend the cover by Michelle Dockrey and Tony Fabris (aka Vixy & Tony).

(Holy shit it’s #00100!)

Red alert was blaring, the Klingons were coming in hard and fast. Michael worked as hard as he could to get the coupling back together and effectively save the day. Which he did.

“And now my keyboard doesn’t work,” she complained.

“Hmn?” One blink, and he

I’ve actually already written a little snippet for this, but I’d like to see what you do. First Contact scenario with an explorator ship, and a bridge officer says to Captain James, completely seriously, “It’s life Jim, but not as we know it”. Cue laughing and singing from someone else on the bridge, a classic sci-fi and filk fan, just as the first audio transmissions between the two species start.

(#00099)

There is a

Fusion Power has been “thirty years away” for more than thirty years now, due to a combination of lack of funding and public apprehension about anything with the word “nuclear” appended to it. What would it take to change that?

(#00098)

“What, all of it?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Even the shale?”

“Yes, sir.”

“All of the coal. All of the oil.”

Weatherby began to wonder how many different ways

Humanity finally recognises another species on this planet as sapient, and deserving of more than animal rights, even if those are different to human rights… and all it took was them beating us over our collective heads with a metaphorical stick.

(#00097)

We swim. We hunt. We talk. They used us, the land-walkers. Experimented on us. Made us into weapons. Made us into things to render safe their horrible devices.

They are clever, those land-walkers. But not clever enough.

We have