Challenge

A 351-post collection

Challenge #00126: Why Would You Do This to Me?

The noodle incident. Name names.

[AN: The whole point of Noodle Incidents is you never find out exactly what happened. See the Trope Page. Grats, you made this author scream in anguish.]

Sherlock had separated them. Rael, at least, got a hot meal and something to occupy his hands. “So. What do you know?”

“Admittedly, not a lot,” said Rael, getting his credentials straight right off the bat. “I’m not a historian. I only study the elements of Terran culture that cross my path on a frequent basis. And… well… Shayde is a strange occurrence magnet. This sort of thing very quicky becomes background noise.”

“It’s not background noise when a larger portion of the Elemeno is covered in noodles,” said Sherlock.

“I had barely enough warning before it -ah- landed.”

“Landed,” echoed Sherlock.

“Apparently, bubble realities land,” said Rael. “And we found ourselves in a kitchen that was, to my best guess, designed by M. C. Escher and H. P. Lovecraft.”

“A kitchen.”

“Yes. The bubble reality also included what looked to be an illegally augmented wolf, a robot with the intelligence of a standard Augment, the -uh- squid in the environment suit. I mentioned him previously.”

“it’s in my growing file,” sighed Sherlock. “Do go on.”

“There was also a small child of about seven and a sometimes-tiger. I think.”

“Sometimes… tiger.”

“It spent half its time as a plush toy. The other half, it stood in an upright stance and acted like… a human.”

“And where do the noodles come in?”

“There was a voice. It came from… everywhere. It shouted, ‘Ready, Set, Cook’ and then all this… pasta… came down. Shayde started knitting it. The kid was trying something with ketchup and pepperoni. The other three were alternately running away or trying to black-box the -uh- noodle font. And… since it was pooling around my calves…”

“You endeavoured to eat it,” concluded Sherlock.

“Yes.” Rael sighed and rubbed his temple. “Once Shayde finished knitting a kein bottle–”

“Knitting… a klein bottle…”

“Are you doubting my memory?” challenged Rael.

“How does one knit a klein bottle?”

“In two-two rib, apparently….” Rael coughed. “Once it was finished, the reality burst and all trapped individuals went back to their home realities. And… some of the contents went with them.”

“Leaving noodles, sauce, and sundry… stains… sprayed at high velocity over a ten cubic SDU area.”

“Yes,” said Rael, glad of his understanding.

“None of this,” said Sherlock, “can be proven. At all.”

“Imagine the trouble the other residents might be having…”

Meanwhile and Elsewhen

“It wasn’t me, Mom,” protested Calvin, in the middle of a blast zone of noodles, sauce, and mystery stains. “It was space aliens, honest! It really was! It wouldn’t have happened if the giant talking dog hadn’t tried to take apart the noodle nozzle…”

“Bath. Bed. No dinner,” said Mom. She was red-faced furious.

Calvin wasn’t certain if this was a lucky escape or not.

[With sincere apologies to Bill Watterson and Freefall. Obviously, I took liberties.]

[Muse food remaining: 13. Submit a prompt! Ask a question!]

"I'm Impressed"

Scott’s 1tth straight victory in court and the slight but unmistakeable praise that Glee gives him upon not making an ass of himself while under the cosh. She also admits something about her personal which Scott almost, ALMOST misses in his joy of not losing…again.

(#00125)

“Not guilty.”

Scott quietly breathed out and shared a hug with his client, a kid who was still manifesting and had, in a fit of excitement, fear and hiccoughs, accidentally

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A blessing? Or a curse?

We’ve all wanted to go back and unsay that one hurtful thing - or at the very least, apologise before a chance at a friendship is lost - utter those words that got us mocked that time, undo that stupid thing that cost us self-respect and possibly more.

Only thing is: Who could stop at one?

(#00124)

Kylie blinked. There were now three of her in her room. Two were older. Both dressed in identical old-fart clothes that spoke loudly

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Be interested to see what you do with this one:

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?

- Mark Twain

(#00122)

There were designated busking zones on any station large enough to attract the kind of itinerant population that gathered Minutes by entertaining passersby.

Amalgam had hundreds of them.

Rael knew from long, and partially agonizing experience, that Shayde loved them like nothing else. In the hours not taken up by duty, she would take her ‘axe’ down to one at random, and

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Philip K. Dick said it best:

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.”

(#00121)

“This,” announced the Doctor, “is the Monestary of the Believers.”

“The believers in…?” prompted Sally.

“Everything. Everything that is. And a few things that aren’t. They devote a lifetime to it. Each devotee is not allowed to have the item they’re meant to believe in.”

Sally peeked through the slot. A

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A new take on an old classic.

To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
To a man with only a hammer, a screw is a defective nail.
To a man with only a nail, everything looks like a hammer.

(#00120)

She ran through the darkened streets, harsh breathing absorbed by the endless fog of Lower Cogtown. She’d lost the whistles of the gendarmerie five streets ago, but that was no reason to stop.

It was no reason to even slow.

To a man

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Challenge #00119: Strategy and the Zen of Faking it

The surest way to hit your target is to shoot first and call whatever you hit your target.

“That’s a long way down. You must be pretty determined.”

“Thanks. I wanted to make certain this was one thing I couldn’t fuck up.”

“Finals?”

“Finals is only the start of it,” she said. “I lost my flat, my girlfriend, my car, my pet, my parents… failing finals just means

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Challenge #00117: And That's Why a Platypus.

A Mage teaching their Apprentice an ancient Bio-Hazard Disposal spell for failed experimental breeding subjects (as we all know, the traditional answer for a ridiculous and/or ridiculously dangerous creature is “A Wizard Did It”), and why Australia’s wildlife is so… unique. (At least, according to the rest (Real Life - Australia portion) of the world.


(And some of us)

“Co-ordinatum expelarmus…”

“Co-ordinatUS, expel-ee-ar-am-us,” corrected the master. “One wrong syllable, Mistress

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Challenge #00116: Impressions

Anywhere in the story:

Some people are like Slinkies - Not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push ‘em down a flight of stairs

(alternatively, substitute “see 'em fall” for “push 'em”)

Sara objected to formal fundraisers at the best of times, and tonight wasn’t one of them. Her target, multi-billionheiress Egypt Ritz[1], was the exact sort of person Sara had grown to despise on

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Challenge #00115: Letter v Spirit

A story in which this:

“It’s time to do the right thing!”
“By which you mean commit a major felony.”
“Think of it as a series of 208 rapidly successive misdemeanors!”


Occurs.

“This is not right,” said Sara.

“It is legal, sweetheart,” said Daddy. They both knew it, but he had to remind her. Her near-reality orbit frequently ignored things like that which was legal.

“That which is legal

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Challenge #00115: One Fine Day on a Planet That Looks a Lot Like a Quarry Somewhere in England

Anywhere in the story, possibly as a result of a situation originating from Forge tinkering:

If we can confirm its existence, then it interacts with the physical world. If it interacts with the physical world, we can, theoretically, blow it up.

“Sara Louise Adrien, what a surprise seeing you here,” said the Doctor. He’d just literally run into her as the worlds changed.

“Ah,” said Sara. “You again.”

“Still dimension-hopping?”

“Yes,

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Challenge #00114: A Scene in the Library

Whoever said words can’t hurt you has never been pegged with a dictionary.

Sara was drawn to the child’s tears. She knew that kind of crying, having done a lifetime of it herself.

“Something the matter, dear?”

“…go ‘way.”

Sara knelt. “I promise I won’t tell you that you’re overreacting if you promise not to tell me I can’t understand.”

The kid looked up.

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A line for Sara

RAF WWII slang: Exdigitate - get your finger out.

(#00113)

There are days when it was fun and exciting to be married to a genius. This was not shaping up to be one of them.

“Come along, darling, you need breakfast.”

Todd opened an eye. There was bacon and eggs and -sweet heaven, thank you- coffee gently steaming on his bedside table. “Mrghl…”

“Exdigitate, dear.”

“Mnnnh…”

Sara dragged him upright and gently

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Challenge #00112: Faction Fraction

A line for Mort: Do us a favor Luv, Stick yer ‘ead in a bucket a kick it!

They say war makes strange bedfellows. Few were stranger than Wanda and Pietro Maximov. Even Mort could see they were sibs. And even he picked up on a creepy level of involvement between them. But that didn’t concern him, now.

What concerned Mort was the whippy figure currently strapped to an upright column from neck to toe. When she spoke, she

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Challenge #00111: One Fine Day in the Cubicle Labyrinth

“If at first you don’t succeed, label it version 1.0.”

“Fuck this fucking thing to fucking fuck!”

“Problems?”

“Why did we release this stupid piece of shit?”

Andrews peered over Laslie’s shoulder. “Oh. That. Budget overruns. Time under-runs. Figgis-fiddis. You name it, that one had it. I think we all ended up calling that one Project Icarus at the end.”

“Doomed to crash and burn?”

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