Amalgam Universe

A 2349-post collection

Challenge #00495 - A120: An Attempt Was Made

And they never spoke of the peanut-butter lobster incident again.

Meals, they said, were a uniting factor. Food, they said, was universal. Humans, they said, would eat anything.

But not this.

Plate after plate after plate of it came back. They were supposed to love lobster! But they were sending this all back with comments like, “it tastes funny” or “I’m allergic to the sauce”.

One of them even came into the kitchens to find Byaadi weeping into what should have been the mashed potatoes.

“I’m guessing there’s some problems with human cuisine?”

“I don’t understand,” Byaadi wept. “The recipe seemed simple enough. Lobsters and butter…”

“Yes, but… not peanut butter.”

Blink. Sniff. Gasp. “There’s more than one kind?”

[Muse food remaining: 41. Submit a prompt! Ask a question! Buy my stories!]

Challenge #00493 - A118: Blood!

Nosebleeds, or to be more precise what do the other cogniscients think when it happens. Do they go for a medical kit and flutter about while the human sighs and holds their nose, or do they comment that at least the humans do something normally for once (but what scared them enough to defensively spout blood?) or something else entirely?

The human - the first they had met, was making an intermittent noise with its proboscis.

Snurf.

Communicating was spotty. Both sides

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Challenge #00492 - A117: Imagine There's No People

Challenge: No humans, or anything pertaining to them at all. That includes human-made or modified things, creatures, places, foods etc.

[AN: Ooooo a GOOD one :D]

Belok took note of the unusual structure as ze approached it. Ze could see that it was made out of ancient hulks of previous civilisations’ stellar vessels, but they had been… conglomerated. Docked, patched and - in at least one case - crashed together into one unappealing whole.

Ze tried all comms avenues including

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Challenge #00491 - A116: Random Curiosity

You mentioned Shayde’s much-debated status as “human” among the denizens of Amalgam. So I’m guessing that as well as all the “human status confirmed” moments there had to be a few cogniscients that just bluntly asked her what she was. And I’ll bet after the first twelve she started coming up with more creative answers/responses….

[AN: I doubt she made it as far as twelve]

There were drawbacks to being in the company of someone who was only

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Challenge #00490 - A115: One Alarming Discovery on the Paths Less Travelled

I may have already submitted a similar prompt, but there was mention made about how non-human species might be very good for autistes - some are very cuddly, some like particularly quiet environments, some have interesting textures. All good for degaussing or forcing the unwanted mob to back off when the autiste is having trouble communicating.

In case a similar prompt has already been made, I’ll request the first time a human of the autism spectrum met any of the Galactic

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Challenge #00489 - A114: Oxymoronic Artefacts

A sign in Braille that says “do not touch”

“Humans had to have made that,” said P’riix.

Tonq, the other archeologist on this ruined planet, peered at it. It was a wall plaque with two codified human languages on it. One of them, raised for the vision-impaired.

The flaking paint above read, “DO NOT TOUCH”

“Oh yes,” said Tonq. “We have clear evidence of humans.”

Which would alter all the reasonings concluded from the evidence

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Challenge #00488 - A113: Biggest Fans

A friend just showed me the opening lines to his new story and said I could use them as a prompt:

“This is the voice of the Mysterons. We know you can hear us, Earth-”
*sound of tape rewinding*
“…Sorry for the technical difficulties. To clarify, we are not the Mysterons. We are arguably worse.”

“Approach Cairo at vector two-one-niner by alpha seven,” sighed Kevin. “And we’ll thank you for a lack of

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Challenge #00485 - A110: The Awkward First Date

Judging by the queue size this’ll take just over a month to get to the top of the pile, so that’s a nice gap. More of the budding relationship between K’iiv and Del please?

K'iiv waited anxiously at the appointed place. Underneath the big clock that, in clear defiance of the laws of time and space, still read four minutes to two. So far, he had preened himself, purchased Terran flowers, preened himself, checked the lay of his clothes,

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Challenge #00467 - A092: Bad Day at the Office

http://snazzapplesweet.tumblr.com/post/77643252675/weh

Aelki rejected or signed off on proposals pending their explanation to Ambassador O'Ranges. He would never hear about the rejected proposals. They were the ones that, like candy in the back of the legendary van, were too good to be true and very obviously dangerous.

She was not exactly an administrative assistant. More like a human filter. In combination with adoptive mother, nursemaid, therapist, dietician, transit authority, private tutor… Either she had to sew

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Challenge #00463 - A088: The Death of Gendered Clothing

http://beltaguise.tumblr.com/post/76801104188/fantasy-lizard-people-where-the-females-dont-have

Found another one

Tom Katt sidled up to the lizard lady at the bar. He thought he could tell by her buxom figure and elegantly-styled dress in Botanic Greens.

“Hey, there, beautiful,” he smoothed. “Can I buy a lovely lady such as yourself a drink? What’s your pleasure?”

The lizard, towering over him by some five inches, glared down at him. “I’m a male,” he

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Challenge #00462 - A087: Portents of Doom

“I’ve got an idea! It’s crazy, it defies all logic, it’s illegal in 16 solar systems and my mother would most assuredly not approve, but it just might work!”

Ax'and'l froze, fighting the primitive desire to burrow under a layer of dirt and conceal himself from predators that no longer existed. Humans had Fight or Flight. His kind had Dig and Ditch. “Hwell,” he murmured in a calm and soothing tone that most definitely did

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Challenge #00460 - A085: Like Humans Do

In terms of romance, compared to humans, all other sentient species are incredibly awkward, stumbling over words, blurting nonsensical sentences, accidentally changing colour, releasing/commenting on pheromones, and/or bluntly stating their piece in a deadpan manner.

Conversely, compared to everyone else the most nervous and awkward of humans is a veritable poet.

She had been trying to speak to the idol of her heart for a Standard Month, now. They came to the same places at that she did. Showed evident

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Challenge #00449 - A074: The Nose Compass

(Actually said by a friend today)

“I have absolutely no idea what it smells like… But it smells like food”

Amalgam Station masses roughly the same as a Dwarf Planet, but is much, much larger in size because Dwarf Planets do not, for instance, contain corridors, cavernous spaces, parks, amenities, and infrastructure.

People tend to forget this. What they know of Amalgam Station becomes the sole total of their experience and they wander no further than their own knowledge.

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Answering this now because it's more of a question than a prompt

So the Amalgam verse has those fan-pins for insulters, and you mentioned somewhere that there was a three-badge scale from something like occasional-accidental-insult to has-no-idea-what-social-mores-are-please-educate. What’s the fan level for will-insult-your-entire-family-when-annoyed or the reaction to precisely and deliberately reducing someone to a puddle of crying goo with a few well placed verbal barbs?

The fan pin is for people who are insulting by accident. Most people of the level you describe go pro or are selected for special training by

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Challenge #00437 - A063: Hivemind Negotiations

“It was rather like being surrounded by a mob of very curious puppies with no regard for one’s personal bubble. He/she stood very still lest he/she step on one and tried to resist the urge to pick one up for a cuddle”

There was also an urge to flee, shrieking, from the environment because the Trrt'krr -or ‘Jelly Dancers’- resembled nothing more than a sparkling cloud of very small jellyfish.

These were the

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