I think that I’ve never seen anything so stupid and so practical in all my life.
They called it The Archive of Earth. A massive tomb devoted to the Twentieth Century. And Shayde had, through adventure and misadventure, inherited the lot.
“How much of this stuff is plastic?” wondered Rael.
“Uh. After the Twenties? Loads.” Shayde was particularly uninformative, unpacking the vaults and sorting random objects. The swarming Archivaas had left her to deal with everything they didn’t recognise. Which was most of it.
It was a bizarre assortment. Unsorted and filed away wherever it would fit. People of the Twentieth Century had made an inordinate amount of junk.
“Aw. Would ye cop this…” She held up a box.
It declared itself to contain something called ‘Flowbee’ and it had been seen on television. Probably late at night, when the tired thought anything was a good idea[1]. And it was seemingly used for hygiene.
“People used these?”
“They tried to encourage it,” said Shayde. “Always wondered what kind of nutter would use it regularly.”
“The actors in the advertising, is my first guess.”
“Someone wi’ short hair, no time, and bad taste?” suggested Shayde.
“And sleep deprivation,” added Rael. “These advertisements, they happened late at night?”
“Oh aye. Always.”
“Q.E.D.”
[1] It’s been proven that a lack of sleep leads to extremely bad decisions. Which is why infomercials happen late at night and why late-night comedy is never funny in the sober light of day.
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