Become a Patron!

::static noise::

Beloved is home and sleeping it off. I wish I could be that lucky or that able to follow suit.

The best option I have is caffeine. Which sort of works okay, I guess. But ceases working long about 5PM. But I should be done with the important stuff by then and honestly - who cares that my sleep cycle is broken and needs new tyres?

Nobody.

Sleep aids have to be herbal, dear readers. My biology is such that if I actually took a real sleep drug, I would die in the night from not breathing in. Fun shit.

True story. Last time I was in hospital, the nurses kept waking me up every half hour to ten minutes to ask if I wanted a sleeping pill. After THREE FUCKING DAYS of this, I got tired of their shit.

Them: [long about 2AM, waking me up for the billionth time that night] Are you sure you don't want a sleeping pill.
Me: [tired, and fucking tired of this shit] Tell you what. I'll take the damn pill, as long as you promise to check on me every ten minutes to make sure I'm still breathing. We cool?
Them: [gets this fucking Look on their face that was an open book with large print and its contents were "OH SHIT".] Oh. Okay. We won't bother you again.

And they didn't. There may or may not have a note in my permanent record, now, that's like Do not give this bizarre freakazoid any sedatives, they might fucking DIE. But I sure hope so.

Because explaining my hereditary and sincerely weird body chemistry to ANOTHER set of doctors used to be a regular pain in my butt. Someday, they may test my genes. It's gonna be interesting.

But I digress. I'm here to write stories and fight somnalism.